Your reaction to this would be.....?

Simply Lovely

Anyone that cheats for that long of a period really does not have a marriage, just a piece of paper.

Paul

My wife did have an affair, about twelve years ago. My basic gut level reaction was to write her off, send her packing and divorce her (though our marriage survived). An eight year affair is even worse, because during much of the marriage, she was living a lie...pretending to be the faithful wife, but cheating every second she got without remorse. You'd be angry beyond belief and want to go pound the other man to dust. This is a truly awful, difficult thing. I would say that a brief affair can be survived, but an eight year ordeal is a step beyond. I am the optimist here on Answers in terms of surviving an affair, but this would be a tough one.

awftx

I'd wish her luck and inform her...HE better be able to provide everything for her, cause when she leaves she not take anything with her.....

Look Away, I'm Hideous

i'd probably get a divorce.

maelia8

I am a woman. I would never be able to trust my spouse again if they had an affair. If the affair was with another married person, AND a much older person, AND lasted 8 years, I would be unable to remain married to them any longer, no matter what their excuse was. Together these factors all add up to a lack of sympathy on my part, and there would be no salvaging our marriage.

Crystal

Uhh..I'd divorce my spouse.

Phirun

thats a long time well maybe get pissed off really bad and get a divorced depend on the case though

I carry your heart with me...

I think my first reaction would be to do something horrible. But no person is worth losing your dignity. Divorce her and find someone who deserves you.

hushnowjustplayit

I'm not a man, but here's what I would do.

I'd make absolutely certain that I had the facts. I wouldn't believe what someone told me unless it was a private detective I had hired for that purpose.

Then I would want to know if it was over or still going on?

I would also want to know if there were others?

Then I would take the time to really investigate my feelings. The main question I would ask myself is if the marriage could survive her infidelity? Could I really and truly put it behind me? Would I be able to rebuild my trust in her or would my life become a series of "where is she?", and "what is she doing?", and "why is she gone so long?"

If I decided the marriage could survive and I could heal from the wounds, then I would insist on counseling.

If I decided the marriage couldn't be saved, I would see a divorce attorney preferably before she was aware of it.

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id divorce

jrl91

Well bro that's really terrible but there are alot of different reactions u could have, if it was me I would make sure I knew it was happening then I would confront her about it and I would file for divorce. But I don't know your situation if you really love her you should try to make it work. Get some counseling or something. But for sure don't jump to conclusions and do something you will regret. Or you know you could have an affair yourself what is she gonna say? lol. Anyways just do what you feel is right, besides what would I know I'm just 17.

Â¡DAMAGE INC.!

id be pissed.

Older and Wiser

Honey, is that you?

Well, I would personally question my sanity and lack of love for this person, Since they had an affair that has lasted 8 years how can you have no clue as to what was going on? My husband and I are able to read eachother pretty well, if anytime there is a little change he or I notice right away. I don't think I could be married to someone I didn't trust or even know at all. WOW! Kick her to the curve and change the locks. Get a lawyer and take her and her older man to the cleaners.

legrandchat

an affair can be forgiven.

but 8 years is more than a quick step off the path.

if you want to save the marriage break off the relationship and give your man ANYTHING he wants.

James a

a lot of people say leave or get a divorce but they r not you and dont live your life its easier said then done.for 8yrs she did not care about you so you decide if you love her enough to stay or go

â™¥

i'd be livid! i'd question what happen to drive her to another mans arms? was it me? was it her? id ask myself is it worth trying to save this marriage? or would it be easier to walk away.

DeeDee783

as a women looking at it from a mans pespective i would be heated. You just didnt slip up and make 1 single mistake you made several for 8 years with a man meaning yiou lied to me.

scott r

leave her, unless she's your sugar momma.
thats not a marriage.
and she's obviously not commited to the relationship

Uin

I would send her packing if I was in that situation, no matter how much I loved her.

All those years of lies, deceit, and betrayal are, in my opinion, unforgivable.

I could not personally continue in a marriage were my partner had been so dishonest, as I would never be able to trust her again.

Marriages need trust to survive, for both partners to live happily together as a couple, and without it, there isn't really much point.

Morgan

well im a girl but if my husband did that i think id pop an artery.

Amanda

yeah-i would file for a divorce. there is no loyalty there...do it once-theyll do it again and again if you stick with them.

Cara M

If I were you I would be completely disgusted. An 8 year affair with another married person. Both the length of time and the fact that she went with someone else who was married show real character, huh?

Guillermo

i would almost certainly get a divorce. it's one thing for a one time affair. but for 8 years, that would mean they had to be sneaking around like that for so long. If we had kids, i would be especially upset that she could be living such a double-life.

david v

first how did you find out?? did she come to you and confess or did you "catch her"? ..
second ', what was her reaction?
third, The fact that it lastest 8 years tells me your marriage has been over for at least that long. But if she is truly sorry and there are kids involved ...well then its up to you.. but your marriage will never be the same after an 8 year betrayal.
lastly if you do stay fully expect to get very angry for the next two to three years.. seek help for both of you immediatly

à®.:xOpheliacx:.à®â„¢ â€ â˜½

if it was a one time or just recent thing he would be mad but might be able to get over it, but the fact that its been going on that long, he would more than likely leave....and leave quickly. This doesn't make sense because why would she be in the marriage if she's with someone else for so long too?

Proud Vegetarian

i'd say,
"divorcment papers, please sign here "

twilight wolf

how sure are you? and how do you know? I really doubt she told you....did she? well, if you were 100% sure and no one is just trying to freak you out, you ought to be dead worried, especially if she means the world to you. I say, approach her CAUTIOUSLY and ask her why she's doing it and if there's anything you can do. If she totally ignores the topic, refuses to answer, or gives a really mean answer, then I think you're in huge trouble. Sorry, that's as much as I can help. Of course, you could always beat up the other guy, but violence isn't the answer :P

I'll tell my mommy!

I really feel that the outcome here would have to be carefully weighted. If there are children invloved I would almost always (except in the most extreme instances) choose to continue with my present wife (I would live only for my children...and though I may dislike my wife's past descicions I know my kids would need their mother for a balanced life). Having said that....I would have to make an example out of her lover (assuming he knew the whole situation). This should be done with the most discretion if you have children ( never underestimate what you can get for 500.00 and a bottle of Jack!). Women sometimes cheat for the thrill or the excitement...but usually these kinds of women also thrive on the desire for their husbands to keep them in line with a strong hand (a show of strength may create the desired reaction). Whatever you decide to do though....keep a clean concience (remember that people are stoned to death for these kinds of infractions in other parts of the world but ask yourself to what level are you prepared to go comfortably).

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