does child support need re-structure cause woman use it to hurt spouse and on them selves and not the kids?

Look you're not the only one out there suffering.

Believe me, I'm the 2nd wife of a man who has 3 children 2 mothers) before we got together. He pays out $600 per month. My husband, myself, and my daughter have to live at the poverty line, having to beg our family members for food, pull-ups, and gas all the time. I do fully acknowledge and respect that the mother who has only one child with him. She has always worked and has always had their child in cheer leading and name brand clothes. She's never asked for an extra dime from him either. So I can see that the money is getting spent on their daughter.
But the ex-wife, with whom he had the other two kids, only works about half the time, seems to have money for cigarettes, drinks and drives, even though she lost her license from DUI's just before they divorced and she still hasn't gotten them back, smokes pot, and we probably don't even WANT to know what else! Yet the kids have never been in an after-school activity. They've never had a name brand item in their lives that wasn't given to them by someone else, never have toys (the bicycles and video games that that they always seem to get for Christmas barely last a few months before they get destroyed by the their step siblings. In fact, they've asked for money for cheer leading or football a couple times and the money always ended up getting spent on something else. Oh, did I mention that the youngest child looks EXACTLY like the man with whom my husband's ex was cheating on him when they divorced?

And to top it all off, we don't get to see either of the kids.

And we can't do anything about any of this without paying an attorney hundreds of dollars up front. Money that we do not have because the child support is so high. What do you do? Let your lights get cut off? The payment is always behind already!

OUR daughter is living in poverty while my husband pays for SOMEONE ELSE's kid!

Yeah something needs to change, alright!

...but I still don't think you're going to be able to change the law. The law has to be in black and white and child support involves gray area. How can the law distinguish between the responsible recipients of child support and the ones who abuse it? It can't

And I'm sure by the time I've typed this, plenty of women have posted the other side of the story, when the fathers don't pay at all.

Uh... not every mother does that and how does a trust fund at 18 help at all? The money is meant to provide support for the child presently! Not several years down the road!

Besides how do you actually intend to prove that the money is being spent inappropriately. Anyone can get a check spend it on one thing and then say they spent their own money. So long as an even amount is spent on the child who cares which check it comes from?

In addition many states require mothers and fathers of children with absent parents to apply for child support, regardless if they want to, when they apply for state benefits such as food stamps and state medical insurance, even if it is only for the child's benefit.

So not only can you not prove how the money is spent or that it was even the support money but you also can't prove that someone files for child support as a vindictive act.

The very idea makes me laugh.

Truth Sets You Free

Child support is for the raising of children. It's not about hurting one parent by another. It's all about the child, their needs and their well-being..If you desire to change laws, seek out your state's governmental officers..Assemblymen, Senators, and Congressmen..

George McCasland

If you want to ask a legitimate question, ask why nothing is being done about mothers going from state to state, filing child support claims, or claims of non-payment, forcing the father to hire attorneys in 5+ states to clear it up?

Shortie

Yeah but what about the women who genuinely want the money to help support their child and yet the father isn't paying can we get a law for that because in my experience they do nothing with that either. I don't understand how a woman trying to get child support would be used as a weapon shouldn't a man be financially responsible for his child. And if they don't want to pay can't they ask for joint or full custody but then again most men don't want to take on the full responsibility they just want to be an every other weekend dad and wish they didnt have to pay child support. So for women who make a living at a job and get child support as well and they get their hair and nails done it must be the child support money right?? NO it's their own money but the child support enable them to have extra money for themselves. I think the law isn't enforced enough on these deadbeat parents!!

La Vie Boheme

Child support is more than money being spent on the child..it includes clothing, housing etc. Think about it this way..if the father was still at home..the money he made would go to pay the bills that kept his child under his/her roof anyway. As long as the child is well cared for, that's all that matters. I do agree with you that the money that is sent should be divided a certain way. Part of it SHOULD go into a fund for the child for later use and part SHOULD go directly to rent or mortgage.

opinionated

i paid child support and it hurt.
however,the non custodial parent pays a % of his gross for his /her kids is really only fair.
if you were still living with them the price difference is really minimum,even tho we complain about it.
a trust fund does nothing to help support/raise the kids when they need it..kids are expensive no matter how you look at it.
also a trust fund would cost you more money,doesn't sound like what you want. trust funds have a yearly fee on top of contributions. somewhere around a minimum of 500.00 on depending on how trust is set up.

Shawn

yes my mother uses the money for herself. Not for me change it.

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