why does my wife hate all the females in my fam?

Hi everyone, me and my wife are newly weds. Were both 24 with no kids.

Recently I've been going to university to get a better job later on. My classes are very heavy. I have 7 classes per week at 3.5 hours each class. Next term it will be 9 classes. So a full time job is out of the question if I want to pass.

My parents have a big house so they offered to build a suit on the first floor just for us. My dad made it beautiful with marble counter tops, great lighting and a festive warm color. I am very grateful for that since it cost him $50k to do it and he didn't have to do it.

My wife on the other hand hates the house, the color, the walls, the counter tops, the bathroom with a big tub for baths. She doesn't eat my moms food because she says that she touches food with her hand when she cooks and should use gloves. When my mom asks for a favor my wife nags me and tells me she has no right asking for favors since they didn't throw us a big wedding.

So she tells me my sister is the same as my mom. My girl cousin hangs out here a lot and she fell in the same circle of hate.

She constantly tells me to watch out for what people say so that I can talk back to them if they disrespect her. Even though they might joke around, she wants me to talk back to them. They don't disrespect her, and I don't see it at all. Your mom said this, your sister didn't say hi to me, your cousin gave me a look. Your mom didn't offer me fruit when she offered everyone else.

I feel like I am on terror alert all the time to see who is saying what to who. I feel really upset and angry that she can't get along with them even if they try. Are all women like this after marriage? I certainly didn't sign up for a life of war with my family.

Please be specific and help me out, what should I do?

Brooke

Your wife is a selfish, controlling *****. Sorry, but number one, your parents did something amazing for you two so that you could live there, probably free of charge while you attend school. That's an opportunity many people don't get, and you two are lucky to have it. Your family sounds like they are being very nice to her. But after a while, they now probably are starting to see how she really is, and eventually won't like her. She's showing them all negative things, so how can they like her? Two, your wife should not be making you choose between your family and her. Or telling you to 'talk back' to your family. That's rude, ridiculous, childish and controlling. Third, she's overreacting like a drama queen on every account. Your cousin gives her a 'look'? Wtf!

Tell her to get off her high horse, enjoy your family, enjoy her life, appreciate the things she's been given, stop putting you in the middle, or take a hike. I'm sorry, but she is not being a good wife. You need to tell her how you feel and tell her to change her attitude. If she doesn't, you may have to choose between her and your family and she won't like the choice. She needs to grow up.

sgt. Pepper

Sounds to me like you need your own house. My grandma lived with my family when i was young & it probably took years off my moms life. Just get your own house or apartment & things will get better. And by the way, a 50k addition to the house makes up for a wedding.

Canadianâ™¥Roadrunner

First Q--was she like this pre-marriage and did she like ur fam then?

Sounds to me like a total b*tch who doesn't know how lucky she has it and i feel sorry for u

And no not all women are like this after marriage. I hated his family pre-marriage but there was good reason for it and my spouse backs me up.

What should u do...lay it out to her that she needs to realize how lucky she is
or kick her butt to the curb..and do not have kids with this woman!! Until she smartens up

meyeame

Is it too late for an annulment?

I Love Richard KHC

Your wife sounds very rude. Your family build a place for you to live to help you out and she doesn't like it. And you mother cooks food that she won't eat, who the hell wears gloves to make their own dinner? Your wife needs a wake up call she sounds like a spoiled brat. NO not all women are like this. I would love to have a set up like you described so me and my husband could get on our feet and I love his family too especially his mom.

SWEET MILDRED

She isn't getting the type of attention she needs from you

Shannon

All of that "hate" is most likely a proxy for her distaste of living with your parents and the fact she didn't get her princess wedding.

What is worse, is the damage is done. There is probably no way to undo this.

Why did you marry her?
I think this is a rare case where separation is the best option (the alternative is divorce).

You both need to finish growing-up.
You need to get your career in order.
She does as well.
And she needs to learn to appreciate the things she is given and living on her own for a while ought to do that for her.

nora

no, not all women are like that. she is being ungrateful after your family did that for you. apparently she is a spoiled snob that wants things handed to her. whenever you live with someone else its just common courtesy to help cook and clean. and she isn't cooking your mother is. you sit her down and talk to her. she needs to snap out of her princess world. let her know that she has two choices. either start getting along with the family (which is her family now), and quit putting you in the middle and have her start helping around the house, or tell her if she doesn't like it that she can move out and you will divorce her

aine c

You seem like a lovely person no not all women are like this in marriage!! She should be grateful that you are given the opportunity to create a career for yourself thus eventually have the level of income that can provide you both with a home.

It is difficult to live with your in-law's and will take time however in the short term I'd tell her to get over herself..... or else maybe she would like to live in a tiny square apartment for years while you study to create a future for yourself. If she dislikes things well eventually she can have the colour choice of paint on the wall. If she supports you and your future pursuits and doesn't want to live with your parents could she not support you financially while you study....

She seems very ungrateful and to be honest I'd rather have my parents help me in my future pursuit of a career then pay for my wedding! which is all but one day event....

Find a chick that respects you, your family (not always easy but seriously!) and is willing to put the effort in now to creating a better future for both of you.

saved_by_grace

It sounds like she is a little spoiled...and very jealous. Talk to her and tell her how you feel.

Thamain P

You should move out of the house. Try to live on your own because in -laws never get along well.

broken

"Your mom didn't offer me fruit when she offered everyone else. "
why did your mom do this?

edit: i really liked skull boy's answer :-)

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