Advice on deployment for my kids?

D S

Been there, done that!
Your one month old will feel the difference, by your stress level.
Keep you 4 year old, busy, busy, busy. There are activities for four year olds, Helps Alto as it will keep you out and about and busy. Do not become a house hermit.
Keep the news at a minimum, even at 4, he will pick up on the turmoil, not to mention the added stress and "unknown" on you.
Make a box, when daddy is gone for your 4 your old to put things in, let him put anything that fits in the box to mail to daddy, colored pictures, little nick naks, ect within reason.
Have a Daddy jar full of little papers, you can do this or daddy can before he leaves, Make sure it full of little slips of paper, colorful is nice, with a saying. Print them out and cut them into slips and fold them up - make sure you have plenty. Have little saying written on them, maybe something Daddy says alot from serious to funny - I love you NAME, Be good for mommy, you are a good boy, Is the sun shining today, ect... each day take one out and read it to him, little candies can also be put in the jar - kisses and hugs from Daddy! Good Luck and please post again if you want more specific ideas!

galaxiexl

There is no easy way for your kids.It's just hard.My Dad was Navy until I was 16.He was Aircrew so he could be gone overnight,a week or a year.The Navy gave plenty of notice when a long deployment was in the offing.You move every two years,different school,neighbors,house,everything.My Dad waited for us kids to go to bed and then left,the crying was very hard for him.By the way,this is not always the life for young married couples,you will have the hardest job of all.Deployments will try your very soul.Hang tough and persevere,it's always worth it.Good luck!

DigiMan

Make sure you tap into all of your pre-deployment resources before the deployment. Contact your spouse's unit or Family Support Group coordinator and ask for assistance. There's a ton of information and people standing ready to assist you all. Use them all to your advantage.

Matteo85

There is good news and bad news - then there will be bad news and good news. Let me explain...

Presently the good news is that your 1 month-old will have no memories of Daddy, so the deployment will have the least affect on him/her. The opposite will be true for your 4 year-old. He/she has a well-defined relationship with Daddy and the absence of him from his/her life will be noticed and palpable. Do whatever you can to relieve Daddy of anything absolutely non-essential to allow him the maximum amount of time with the 4-year old until the time of deployment. Encourage them to talk to each other about Daddy being gone.

When Daddy returns, the opposite will be true. The then 5-year old will remember Daddy and instantly begin to re-from the bonds. The then-toddler will have no memory of this "stranger in my house" and will have a harder time bonding. It will take time, but so long as you and the then 5-year old welcome Daddy home, the toddler will follow your example.

Don't forget about yourself during all this time. 18 month deployments are tough, and the military knows this. There are ample resources for families of deployed personnel; support groups, wives' groups, children's groups, etc. And don't forget about family - I remember a time during one of my Dad's deployments, my Mother packed us up and we went on an extended road trip and visited family. I was 4 at the time and never fully realized that Daddy wasn't there.

Good luck.

Lori

My sister went through this too. She had her husband sit down with him and count out jelly beans, one per day he would be gone. Each day he could eat one, and when they were done Daddy would be home. They decorated the jar and did everything together. And next to the jar sat a picture of just the two of themhaving fun. The jelly beans worked, and even though she didn't know the exact date, she was able to sneak a few in unoticed when his stay there was extended a week. She also had him bring a disposible camera and send it home when the roll was finished. They developed the camera when it got there and he got to see what Daddy was doing and how he was a hero and all of his friends in uniform. Also, ask him to address letter just to your 4 year-old. This way they know Daddy isn't going to forget them and they can feel special. Goodluck and God Bless!!

Mrsjvb

get the Elmo DVD. if your FRG doesn't have it you can get it at Military One Source.

lconnor65

The better you handle it the easier it will be for your child. Have your husband record stories that you can play for them. Have your husband give your child a special little treat that is just for them to keep safe while daddy is away. While daddy does his mission your child has to do theirs.

Tell your child that you can make special art work to send daddy while he is away.

Keep in mind when your husband gets back your children might be hesitate to go around him. Just give them time to adjust and trust me they will form a very tight bond.

Thomas M

First off i would tell your 4 year old how much of a hero he is being for going, and that he is doing it to protect him/her.

I dont know of anything really to make it easier, I would just suggest having them spend as much time as possible with him before he goes.

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