Army wives, girlfriends, or soldiers?

I am just wondering the opinion of other people who have been living the military life..

Does it not drive you absolutely crazy that everyone feels that if you are with or are a soldier they can tell you what is best for you? My boyfriend, who I intend to marry just not at the moment, is deploying for Afghanistan soon. I waitress and naturally everyone asks what he does, when he deploys, etc. (He's a SF Weapon's Sgt, he deploys soon), and they FIRST comment that he is SF and it will never last.. When I say he is getting out they tell me he wont and that I am trying to make him.... How in the world can I just dodge these questions? Nearly all of my customers ask at some time and I've tried every possible way of 'not going there'. I believe what I want to believe, and they will not alter that but I'm damn tired of listening to people who think I want their opinion! Any suggestions?!

Also, I am very tired of hearing that we should just get married before he goes. I do NOT care about the money and think it is a terrible excuse to get a DIVORCE.
Additional Details
Actually I am in a very secure relationship, it's called he has been gone for a month and I am very bored. Also, I deal with this on a daily basis and it's rather a pain in my ***.

As are people like you.

Proud mommy and army wife! ;0

Just politely say hes in the army but i really dont wish to speak about (sour subject)it at the moment dont give them a chance to talk shi* u know, i havent been in that situation i mean i get asked all th time questions about my soldier but no one dared to say something stupid. People can be so arrogant n think they know it all i just wish people wud mind there business. Also you can always speak up stick up for ur man girl n let them know you dont agree wit what there saying n that ur proud of ur man no matter what he does. Army strong girl;)

Takanobu'sWife+SpencersMommy

your not his wife its not really your life it is his

You know you hate me

If you are secure in your relationship, then it wouldn't bother you so much. Why are you on here justifying yourself and relationship to strangers?

This is the military board....not venting wives/gf's boards.

Really? People like me? I am a Marine stationed in Camp Lejuene. I know the military life and sacrifices more than you. Don't start with me Military gf......

Hsia

You know, it is ranting wives/gf's like you ARGUING with AD/Reservist/Vets within the military that make ALL OF US wives look bad. There is a reason why military wives have a stigma and stereotype surrounding us.

Just shut up and stop defending yourself and fighting with the military people here. God.....you women make us all look bad. You do realize we are not in the military, your partner is. So learn that now before you marry and your life will be a lot easier.

If you don't want people to know your business, don't talk about it. It is looking more like you want the attention due to your deployed bf, so you can have sympathy. You are milking it. My husband is deployed for 13 months, no one I meet knows that other than family and friends. They don't know that cause I don't talk about it, cause I don't feel like answering their questions. Simple fix.

Seriously, stop ranting.....please......

Meli82

Wow I can't believe that people are saying these things to you. I was in the military and there were a lot of good SF guys. I hate when people who get married in the military do it just to make extra money on deployments and stuff. I know people who have done it and it doesn't last most of the time. I understand your frustration. The only thing I can think of to say when someone talks like that to you is to tell them you are both very happy and it is your relationship, not theirs. These people sound jealous and bitter.

erika r

Dont go into such detail!!! Just say that he is in the Army and you are planning to marry him after he returns so you can plan the big wedding you've always wanted. I think it would shut them up.

And with the way the economy is today, it might just help if you DID try to talk him into staying in the military. Its a guaranteed paycheck. I love the fact that my husband isnt going to get laid off.

Afawna J

Hi. My husband is in the USMC. I understand a little how you maybe feeling.I live in a small town and work at wal mart. So as you can image many people ask me for information and other give me information on what to do for myself. I just smile as best I can. I think about him doing his job. I try everyday to breath. I try to give them..I say give it sound funny but try to explain how I feel without letting them really feel me. I keep them at a far in a way. I say to them that he is doing good. No new is good news and I tell them that I love him so much. I often try to let them know that some days are not easy and some days are harder then the day before. I make jokes about why he chosen to take on this duty. And yes they give me there thoughts and feelings on everything. Yet to be Honest , sometimes they want to know that I am okay it makes then feel better to know I am okay. Silly as that sounds sometimes they are afraid of what there self's would or wouldn't if they were me. Others are parents and vets that tell me the truth beyond what I may want to hear. At the end of the day it is hard to hear things that scare me about deployments separations and raising our daughter alone. As far as money is concerned I married him not for that either. Getting married in the right time rather then having too is always much happier. Being married you are able to live with him and have more of a active role in his life. Yet you nad him are the only two that can say when it is your time to take that next step.
I hope that I helped take care.

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