Do we have enough military in the UK to ensure our home security? Just in case the French fancied a go.?

The Transporter

What? That bunch of garlic-munching surrender monkeys? I doubt it. They'd have to get past Customs and Excise at Dover with enough Gauloises for a lengthy campaign and convince them they were for personal consumption - not a chance in hell of that!

Tarheel

Send Keith Richards as your ambassador and have him threaten to snort them.

Eternal

I believe the correct phrase is "Cheese eating surrender monkeys." But of course we all in the EEC now.

I believe the contingency plan is to barricade the British end of "Le Chunnel" with detergent and underarm deodorant, in the belief that this would present an impregnable barrier to any French advance.

Whilst such trading in cultural stereotypes is beneath me, I still think we should at least consider a militarised zone on the Welsh / English border.

:-)

The French have a (slightly) higher per capita defense spend in terms of GDP, a standing combined force of 250,000 personnel and the worlds 3rd largest nuclear arsenal.

The UK spends more in absolute terms, has just less than 200,000 personnel, trident, and a very powerful Navy.

Wolfgang92

You could have 10 Brits who haven't had their tea and 2,000 Frenchman who were well-fed and trained and I would still pick you Brits in a fight, heh.

Brits, in my opinion are like Titus Pullo's character in HBO's Rome, they can be the best of pals, but when the fighting commences, I pity their enemies.

prudence

yes

clambacke

I would be concerned about your "Home Security" as in having a good Carbon monoxide Detector installed for your heating unit, have a couple of fire alarms in goo order, look the door, when you go out and always be careful, when you step on a ladder. There is nobody out there, who wants to deal with the NATO, even their own members. So, go back and bake a cake.

harry

FRANCE WOULD NOT ATTACK ANYONE THEY ARE A BUNCH OF GARLIC EATING CORWARD'S

Carpe diem

Just a suggestion. If France attacks try to get them to invade on land. You haven't done well lately on the water....

American Hero

Do you know why the French broke the speed record with their new train?

They wanted to be able to surrender at higher speeds.

vdv_desantnik

we hardly have enough soldiers and as for working equipment, well the government recently spent Â£57,000,000 on a fleet of apache helicopters that they announced they now cant use in bad weather. We also have massive shortages of things like body armour, ammunition, NBC gear. Great isnt it!!

Han Solo

You could stop the whole french army with one soilder and a sling shot!

it is me

the french would attack with baked goods and wine...if you needed too you could use blood pudding as a defense, that will scare them silly.

wild-man of Borneo

Why worry with wild imagination running wild that spreads like wild-fire in planet of apes.
Did'nt you know the French Lovers were busy getting tied down in bed in planet of apes.
With all the French fries all around in planet of apes.

blonde dyslexic but good looking

when as france ever beaten england at war, u make me laugh they always throw there arms in the air remember two world wars and remember the 100 years war. dont make me laugh and just incase we have nukes. then no one wins. but i think we would rather nuke our selves than let the french or anyone take us.
t

Gary

I dont think the French will be having a go any time soon. They would have no chance.

Northern Lad

The French have a go - ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
They`ve just broken the train speed record, which means that they can get `away` from all conflicts even faster now.

bellyman

hope not as my army of freedom fighters are planning to attack this Sunday at noon...but keep it to yourself.....

so don't worry about the French....
worry about............me and my freedom fighters....

mervyn m

The French flag is actually white! Besides,all we have to do if fill the bloody channel tunnel in!

Ade

Lol - Nice one :) The French are too busy keeping their own house in order for us to worry - their army cannot even control the farmers... nuff said !