For military wives? While your hubby is away?

OK, so my fiance/common law husband is away right now with the military. I currently just finished my University and have been writing exams for the last few weeks. This is the first time we have been apart for this long, and I am finding myself kind of picking arguments with him on the phone because I guess I'm lonely because I'm done school and haven't found a job yet ... plus been stressed with exams. We just moved to the house and town we are in recently so we don't have a lot of friends here yet, or I would try to keep busy with friends to keep sane.

Do you ever pick fights on the phone, or how do you keep from doing it? We normally have a great relationship and hardly ever bicker, but lately it's been hard since he's away. I feel so guilty after because we only get a few minutes to talk on the phone and sometimes I waste part of the phone call being miserable and frustrated ...

NoObama

Ok, don't feel bad. You are not the only person that goes through this. My wife and I would have fights over the phone or AIM while I was deployed. We figured out a good way to vent stress of separation/deployment/loneliness.....we would write an angry email to each other....but never send it . Just write your heart out, vent and say the mean things that sometimes the stress can bring about and just save it to the draft box or delete it. We found writing our stressful emotions down, allowed us to relax and try to focus on getting along the months we were apart.

Try to stay busy....I know it is hard. It will be over before you know it.

__A_YAHOO_USER__

I have a webcam and me and my husband talk on the program Skype. It is were you can talk over video chat. I talk to him whenever I can get a chance so I don't feel so lonely.

La-te-da

Don't worry about it, this is normal, my husband and I fight non-stop just before he deploys, then the day of departure its all tears and I'm sorry.

â™¥ Ashley â™¥

My husband is deployed and we do the same thing. Well, I do. We have an amazing relationship. So, I guess I just do it because I like the attention. It is always just little things and we both know that we are both on edge with this deployment.

Taleesha

My Hubby went to WTC then to AIT and I did the same thing with him when he first left. It's just stress, it will go away with time, the first few weeks/months are the worst.

Kelly B

My husband isn't in the military, but he lives in another country, so I can relate to what you're saying. Being away from the one you love is challenging.

There are times (especially when I'm PMS-ing) when little things he says ride my last nerve. One thing I have found is telling myself, if this is still bothering me next week, I'll say something. Usually, when the next week has come, I've forgotten all about it.

Another thing that helps me is staying busy. How bout volunteering? That way, you could get some experience in your field, and make some new friends, all while making a difference.

Jay B

Don't you worry...it is ALL usual...i might not be a military wife but there are many times when the spouse is just upset that he's so far away..yet so close(via phone..it feels like a tease).
And the hubby might get upset because he just wants to be with you right there & then as he talks to you over the phone..but he can't of course.

It's all human nature....You can try to avoid conflict at times but you can't really overcome human emotion(good or bad) on either side of the relationship. Also..you'll now everything you feel & he feels is reasonable.....Maybe not while you 2 are upset over the phone...but when you're just sitting in your bed at night thinking about him...and him thinking about you...and both of ya'll will think: "What were we so upset over that for?"

Matty

Don't worry, most wives feel lonely at first then they find "deployment daddy's" to take care of their needs. If you love him you can wait and not take your 'frustrations' out with someone else

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