Friend Is Deployed and Wants Information On His Wife?

Here is the story.

A friend of mine is deployed to Iraq and his wife is here with their daughter. He has been hearing many different stories about how his wife has been treating their daughter since he has been gone. She is basically an unfit mother. Her daughter got a fever that was so high she ended up having a seizure. Her daughter is 17 months and weighs only 18 pounds. The house is very disgusting and her daughter gets sick almost every week. What can he do while he is in Iraq to start some sort of legal action? Any help would be great please
Additional Details
I am sorry ASHLEY but when a soldier doesnt even get as much as an update on his daughter and he has to turn to his friends then yes I am going to tell him exactly what is going on because he can do more than I can. I know aabout deployments and how they can mess with a person my husband deploy4ed 2 times as did I! So your info is not needed here

pookie

Well the military has the right to inspect your house whenever they choose since they pay for it. It would be best to have one of his commanders show up for a routine housing inspection so that it doesn't set off an alarm with the mother. Or have someone from the FRG go over to see if she is okay...that is normal when family is deployed. Don't do anything out of the normal because if she thinks that his friends are spying on her then she won't allow anyone around and nobody will know whether the child is okay. The FRG member will know what to do if there is cause for concern. If you think its more urgent than that...call CPS.

AngryPatriot

It may start an argument with his wife but he can do either or both of the following:

1. Contact his unit first sergeant and have him/her stop buy and check on his wife and the status of the house. The first sergeant is obligated to report an unfit living environment, even more so if they live on base.
2. Contact the base Family Advocacy office and address his concerns with them. I believe they would request to visit with his wife and assess the living conditions also.

Again, either of these would look like he doesn't trust his wife and at the least alarm her.

Having the 1st Sergeant stop buy would be the most natural and least suspicious. He can say he is just checking on the spouse of the deployed member and checking to see if she need any assistance with anything.

holly

Yeah "mind your business" isn't the right thing to do when a child is involved.

If you really do have reason to believe that the child is in danger, call anonymously and report her to social service. And have him call and tell his story to social services. That should be enough to have them send someone to the house to make sure the baby is Ok.

Who knows, maybe the mom is dealing with depression due to having the spouse deployed.

All i know for sure, whether the mom's just a nut or needs help, the bottom line is too make sure the child is in good care.

cordeliabrainiac

If he's Air Force, he needs to contact his First Sergeant.

If he's not Air Force, he should have the equivilant.

Cane Corso Mom

You can contact social services who will then in turn contact the first sergeant (or equivalent) i had to deal with this in Germany with a deployed troop of mine, thank God the shirt did right and fixed everything and the child was removed from the home to family. But be careful about who you talk to and don't let it float around you are ratting people out there could be some repercussions, not completely towards you but she may come try to find you if she (the mother) thinks its you. Good Luck and do all you can to get that baby somewhere where she will be taken care of!!

ckamk1995

If you know this is true, then report her. Once she has been reported someone will notify red cross and his command and let them know of the situation.

A 1st SGT will need more proof then his soldier saying so. They might let him come home for a brief time to fix his long term child care plan, meaning find someone to take care of his daughter while he is deployed the rest of the time. Or there would be a chance that they would chapter him out of the military because he doesn't have someone to watch over his daughter.

Hard situation.

Kat

Someone needs to contact CPS and get that child out of that situation. If they are on base/post there are more channels to go through but she needs to be reported. The husband needs to contact the legal office and let his supervisor know what's going on.

soccer_babe_1508

Call social work services on her. He could call the local Emergency Room where she lives to get the phone number for social work services. He can ask them to stop by the house and check up on her. If social work services goes to the home and finds it unfit for the child they may decide to pull the child out of the home which may or may not mean he could come home to take care of the child. However if he does come home it wont be for good just long enough for him to establish a suitable living arrangement for the child.

Ashley

the worst thing to do would be to make him concerned and upset, i understand you wanting to help and give him info but you gotta be careful cuz that could really **** with him while he is away......stick to your own business thats prob the best idea, other than reporting her to DCF then thats all you can do

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