Homecoming... How would you handle this situation?

BJJ Chick

For me? Wild horse couldn't drag me from homecoming. I'd tell my boss where to shove it and find a new job, but that's me and where my priorities are. And I know my husband would just laugh at me and help me find a new job.

For you, that is your call.

MadMaxx

Lemme at him... I'll drop that boy like a toilet seat!

Assuming you're a stellar employee and not a screwup taking off a lot of time from work for every little thing... If it were me... I'd talk to his boss about it. If he is THE boss... I'd politely tell him to shove that job where the Charmin flows! I could never work for a human that would do something like that.

This is too important of an event to miss!

Navy Sailor - GAI

Well can you afford to lose your job? Sounds like you are going to lose your job since you refuse to miss the homecoming. You need to make that choice. It is not like you will miss him coming home. After they physically arrive home they have to go to debrief and stuff anyway so you won't be with him 24/7 for a few days anyway. Do you think he would want you lose your job over him? IF you do choose to go anyway remember that you may want another job in the future and the guy you are working for will make sure that you don't get the reference you will need to get that next job. I think you need to go to your training and keep your job and see your boyfriend or whatever he is when your training is over. HE understands the work comes first thing and will not break up with you just because your job has a requirement for you to attend to. Our family is dual military and we cannot always be there when one of us comes home or leaves but we do what we need to do to take care of business when it comes to our marriage.

Mom of Two

If I were in your shoes, I would go sit down with my boss and explain to him my situation and tell him I know how important the training is but my hubby's homecoming is also very important. Be respectful and hopefully he will understand. I would probably blow off the training and be there for my husband especially since the both of you have been waiting for that day. Is it possible for your husband to be able to come spend time with you when you are not in training? I am sure you will make the right decision.

Amy S

Two things..

First, I wouldn't miss the homecoming for anything. It's one of those "I have ONE opportunity to be there when he gets back" type events.

Second, homecoming dates FREQUENTLY get changed, sometimes at the last minute.

Given these two things, I'd sit down again with my boss and explain that this is a one-chance event, that the training is happening again in 3 weeks, and you'd like to do both and need his help to make that happen. Also, let him know that if the homecoming date changes, you could still potentially make the original training date... depending on the revised date/time of the homecoming.

I would also put the request in writing. Nothing quite like a carefully and thoughtfully worded request, cc'd to HIS boss, to make a supervisor/boss rethink his stance. Don't discuss the war or politics... make this about your life. You have ONE chance to be there for homecoming, and multiple chances to attend the training. Keep the focus of the request just that narrow... and see where that gets you.

Best of luck! And Ooo-RAH on that homecoming!

Katie

Hey hun.. the same exact thing happened to me a few months ago... only i didnt have training.. My boss knew for a year when I was going away for my guys homecoming..they had no problem with it., told me that i was stronger than they ever could be, dealing with my love being away in a war zone., come 3 weeks before I was to leave my boss brought me into her office and asked me "what was going on with my plans". I couldnt give her an exact date of the homecoming. but in the past it wasnt an issue.. She told me since 4 girls had put in their notice she was unable to let me go and that she felt "bad" that I couldnt go , and it was very apparent she couldnt give two hoots... Anywayysss... I had to decide what was more important. keeping my job or seeing my bf after 15 long months apart.. .. after weighing everything in my head. i decided to quit my job, which was very hard because I loveddd my job, and it was very hard to leave, but just like you I refused to give up something me and my bf had been looking forward to soo much! After i came home from the homecoming I found a new job, and to my surprise all 3 interviews i went on.. all of the superiors had said they would have done the same exact thing. so i guess my advice to you would to talk to your boss and convey to him that this is something that is incredibly important to you., and that you are more than willing to go to the next training session.. hope this helps and that you go see your love!!!!

Bitsy

Can you go above his head? You cannot miss this homecoming! It is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Tell your boss you are going to the newspapers with this!

drewder

Well it would be eaiser if you hadn't told him about it but you could always be "sick" that day.

~Tankers Wife~

Go greet your Marine, and tell your boss to go to hell!!!! That's what I would do but that's just me.....lol.......I'm kinda outspoken anyway

John

Good bosses are hard to find just like good jobs. Half of the working public says they have mediocre bosses who are like yours. You may want to consider if there is someone that is above him who can intervene and give him a little prodding and reconsider his decision. On the other hand he may feel inclined not to if the working relationship in the past has not been a good one. By that I mean if you are a troublesome, problem type employee he may be using this as a way to bring things to a head and force you into a bad situation or making a bad decision for which he can fire you. If that is not the case I would first go back and approach him when he is not stressed out, is in a good mood, and ask him if he may not reconsider and let you attend the other training instead. He may have a deadline or a program start-up date that is forcing this decision on his part and he may be stuck just like you with a decision he really does not want to make a certain way but has to.

Natalie M

Ok, so I have a homecoming with my Marine very very soon as well, and have arranged to have the days needed off months ago. Turns out im transferring to a new job the week before his homecoming. I had to have a talk with my new boss today to find out if I was going to be able to take the days off (since it is only a week after I start) and fortunately he told me it would be fine. This job is a great opportunity for me with much better pay then where I am now, however, had the new boss told me I wouldnt be able to have the days off,
I would have turned the job down without a second thought. You have (im assuming) been without your Marine for the last 7 months like me (if not more) and in my mind there is nothing more important than being at the homecoming. Although the most tactful choice may not be to tell your boss to shove it...I would not remind him that your going to miss the homecoming (so he will forget) and suddenly "get the flu" the day you leave for training or anything else of the like. Wear contacts? Say you broke one...cant see to drive...be creative. Dont miss seeing him though or you will regret it...especially if you can get this training at a later date. Congratulations and Semper Fi!

go get your Marine... if your boss doesn't like it...its his problem... I assume your married, so it should fall under some law about family members or something

texas mom

It's very sad that your boss is so uncaring. It sounds like you have decided that picking up your guy is the most important thing here. In that case, I'd let your boss know that you will be missing the training, you'd be happy to attend at a later time and pick up your man. If the boss doesn't like that, I'd tell him, it's his loss and to F*** off - not in those words of course, but in a professional way. Be prepared to lose your job though. It sounds like your boss is a real a** hole. Good luck and give your guy a hug for all of us that appreciate the job they are doing over seas!

Mrsjvb

you have a choice: miss the training and possibly be fired or otherwise punished for it, or miss homecoming.

Your boss is not required to make allowances for anyone for any reason. especially if you are not married yet to this Marine.

Frankly, go to training. Homecoming is very stressful for all..and we are talking 12 hours of waiting for ten minutes of face to face before he has to go debrief and out process.

Dan

how long is the training? Maybe if the training is overnight, you could have your guy divert to there, and you two could have a vacation at the company's expense. And if that happens, I'd go to the finest restaurant in town and get at least one meal at your boss's expense. I'm sure your guy will understand. He's waited this long, he won't mind waiting another mind or two. He can get all "his family visits" out of the way while you're at training.

ABCDEFGH

Go to your training, you don't want to lose your job. Try pleading with your boss 1 more time, if not go to your training, he will understand

Jill C

You have made a committment to your job. Sure, your boss could be sympathetic and allow you to attend a later training, but he isn't required to give you time off because your Marine is coming home. Attend the training or seek other employment.

Lillian

Go to the training. This will give him time to see everyone else and acclimate, so that he will be ready physically and mentally when you return from your training.

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