How can my boy friend escape the army's basic training if he is home sick?

mysteryman27

Veteran here to help you out with your question. I am not going to bash you or your boyfriend. What he can do is what many call "failure to adapt", which means he is not transitioning well from civilian to service member. Short answer is it will be very hard for your boyfriend to come home right away. Don't tell him to say he's gay or get into trouble, as that will do a lot more harm than good. Best bet is to have him talk to a drill sergeant so he can see a psychiatrist or chaplain for help. Once he can prove he is not fit to serve anymore or has been recycled through basic enough times, and then the service will give him whatâ€™s called Entry Level Separation. Entry Level Separation is not good or bad it just means he wasn't in long enough to be given a discharge characterization, i.e. Honorable, General, etc.

However, he must also realize that any and all incentives, benefits, and other rewards for serving will also be nullified. He will not receive any Veterans Administration benefits, G.I. Bill, etc. Some of the posts here, while harsher than necessary, state truth by him swearing into active duty he has to honor his commitment. However, many people tend to overlook the fact that some people just aren't able to adjust to military life and the sacrifices that go with it. I hope that this helps and remember there is no quick fix for your boyfriend. He did the some work to get into the military and he will have do a lot more to prove his case to get discharged.

God

If your boyfriend cant keep a commitment to a choice he made how can you trust him ?

No he cant go home it was his choice and he signed a contract you think the government cares if your boyfriend gets home sick.

Tell him to man up.

Future Marine.

NSA

In Basic, nearly everybody wonders what they were thinking. This happens several times. It's normal.

You need to encourage his completing his contract.

You need to ask yourself, if he runs away when things get difficult, when he will he run away from you?

Mutchkin

Every military active duty member gets home sick. Especially those in military branches, like Army, who spend 18 + months in Iraq.

(Husband, USMC, spent two tours in Iraq, 8 months each back to back).

What he is feeling is normal and what you are feeling is normal.

It is a culture shock to him and it is a life style adjustment to you as well.

I know you don't want to read it, but he has only two options: Stay and find the positives of being in military (which there is plenty) or screw up (I won't list things he can do. Common sense stuff) and that can affect his life in a negative way.

I'm sorry hun. That is just the way the military works. They don't care how home sick he is or how upset you are (married, engaged or dating/friends) They deal with this day in and day out. Nothing knew and he won't get sympathy from them.

What you could do is support him and let him support you. Write letters and be there when he comes home on leave after graduation (or at graduation for that matter).

Support gets a person through the day.

SGT. D

I can't say anything that the posters above hav'nt said already and I agree with the strongest of them cause I was there 20 years worth. I'll spare you the "Blasting" I really want to give and just say; "Stay Strong. Most easy things in life are rarely worth having."

Victory Soldier

Sick?

Get over it.

Elvis

He made a mistake but it happens. Go with ethics. Would you want him to lie, cheat and steal to get out or actually try to fulfill his commitment? He should try to do his time, and if his commanding officer deems him incapable, he may be relieved... BUT this could be the best experience your B/F will ever have, he should really try to fulfill his commitment. Be encouraging, you're probably his motivation.

brian_e_roberts

It is unfortunate that "he don't want to be there" (sigh, english please) but once you sign the dotted line I'm pretty sure they own you for the 3 years or whatever you signed up for. Sounds like someone liked the thought of a big bonus and 3 square meals a day with some decent pay, and is suddenly regretting that decision. I'm sure things will get better after basic, but your boyfriend is stuck for now.

(update) Also, if he does somehow get out, he can probably kiss goodbye any chance of getting in the armed forces again, EVER!

phil5775

Tell the Nancy to grow a pair.

anarchymaster8

What the hell did he expect? It's not boy scout camp. Its a disciplined organization that teaches you how to face the horrors of warfare and kill the enemies of your country. Does that sound like an easy job to you? I'm sure the recruiters sold him a bunch of sugar coated BS, but come on, use some common sense...

Nikki S

He should try to stick it out. You should encourage him to try. If he really can't do it for some reason other than missing his mommy he can try to get out on a failure to adapt. He could also fail his pt test again and again until they get tired of him and send him home. Of course with that option they will try and "help" him get in shape to pass it. I'm talking more push-ups that you can fit in bread box here. It is easier to get out in basic than it will be if he goes all the way through and gets to a unit. The army is short on people though so they will try to convince him to stay. As long as he doesn't break the law in his attempt to get out he will probably be allowed back in later. With a waver of course. I would recommend that he try to get out on paper rather than running. They will eventually find him. Then he'll have to go to jail. If he thinks basic is rough than jail is not the place for him.

GoSailor

I'm pretty sure that Army basic training is only somewhere around 8 to 9 weeks. You don't even have that long of a wait until graduation, so if I were you, I would just find something else to occupy myself with in the mean time. The Army really needs people now, so if he tried giving them some sort of sob story about how he misses you and wants out, trust me, it would not be in his best self interest. You'll both have your chance to see each other at graduation, I don't see what the big fuss is about.

Timmy T

he can start by sticking all kinds of things up his butt....

Mrsjvb

he cannot. he signed a contract and he is now obligated to fulfill it.

everybody gets homesick. It's part of the process.

mhilz

hes regreting it cause he didnt join the marines. (kind of a joke--kind of)
Semper Fi!
stop worrying, keep yourself busy......

MPWife

I'm former military, my husband is currently serving on active duty. I don't know how long ago this was posted, but I hope if it has been a while that it's come to some sort of resolution. Considering the Army is overstrength in so many MOS's.. they don't need anyone that doesn't want to be there and he needs to go to hell home. As a former Soldier and military spouse, I think you attempting to find ways for him to break a committment he made is disgusting. It shows your maturity or in this case the lack of maturity for both of you. Combined, my husband and I have proudly given the Army almost 15 years and he'll be in until retirement. We love our life. But it's not for everyone. Some people can't handle it.

Mdizzle

Idk when this was posted, but encourage your boyfriend to stick it out a little longer! during the first few weeks everyone gets depressed and wants to go home and regrets their decision. But after the first two or three weeks, they start to feel better because they adjust and start to feel proud of themselves. If he gets to week 5 or 6 and still isn't adjusting, then it's time to take action and consider coming home.

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