How do I handle my 18 year old sons decision to go into the army at this time while there is so much going on.

Proudmom

I have been in your shoes, not once but 3 times. It was just as hard with the third as it was with the first.

How to handle it.....Tell them you are very proud of them for making this brave decision during war time. Be thankful you have raise such a find young man that is willing to support his country by joining the military.

You will not feel it now but when you see him gradate from basic, you will have a strong feeling of pride.

Here is a wonderful support forum for family members...http://armyfamilyunited.myfastforum.org/index.php

You will find others there going through or had been where you are at now. Good luck to you and your son and God Bless you both.

franky2x

Does your son own a car or drive?

He stands a better chance getting killed in a car accident than he does of dying in combat.

Statistical fact. http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/portal/site/nhtsa/template.MAXIMIZE/menuitem.cd18639c9dadbabbbf30811060008a0c/?javax.portlet.tpst=4427b997caacf504a8bdba101891ef9a_ws_MX&javax.portlet.prp_4427b997caacf504a8bdba101891ef9a_viewID=detail_view&itemID=d91cd60670268110VgnVCM1000002fd17898RCRD&viewType=standard#stats

Each year, more than 5,000 teens (ages 16-20) are killed in passenger vehicle crashes.

During 2006, a teen died in a traffic crash an average of once every hour on weekends and nearly once every two hours during the week.

Support his decision! He will be a better person for it, and will get life long skills out of the military.

CAVEMAN THINKING {RULES}

Take pride and it is safer in the military than in a car in America

Mephisto

we need more like him. he is a responsible straight man. with pride knowing you made him so.

NAZGUL

At 18 he is considered a man so just stand behind this decision.

Vet-USAF

smartass

Tell him your concerns. Talk about it. Basically he's 18, you can do anything but talk to him

Christopher Gardner, SGT, US army

Matt E

Talk to him, and realize this is his decision, and respect that.

There is a MUCH better chance that he will come home than he wont.

Frog

Tell him your concerns but be supportive in his decision. All you will do is drive him away if you won't support him.
I've known and seen too many soldiers that "Left the family" because they did not get support.
If he has his mind set to go, don't lose your son by not being there for him.

emmy

Talk to him about it- not hoping to change his mind, as that's unlikely and will only cause distance and strife between you, but just trying to get a better perspective on why he wants to join and what it means to him.

It will never be not-scary to have loved ones in the military, but it can be less painful when you are in close communication with them, understand and support their wishes, and know what's going on with them day-to-day. If you are supportive, he's more likely to feel comfortable keeping you updated and confiding in you, and of course feeling loved and supported helps keep people in any situation in life more careful of their own safety.

Let him know that despite your own fears, you still love him and want to be part of his life. I know soldiers who don't tell their mothers much if anything about their lives because their initial reaction to enlistment was so negative, and I always find it very sad.

If he has enlisted already (or after he does, if he hasn't), talk to him about putting you in contact with the family support group for his unit. Also google "military support groups"- there are tons of good message boards for military families, and having some friends who are going through the same fears and who can answer any questions you have can make everything a lot less daunting.

Good luck. It doesn't get less scary, but it can get easier to cope with the fear.

Nobody you need to know.

Your boy is becoming a man. You need to let him make his own choices, try not to hold him back to what he feels is right. You've taught him to walk, talk, and lead. You have to understand it is hard on him as well as it is on you. Give him the freedom that made this country great.Besides, if he is Christian and believes in Jesus, than you've got nothing to worry about. Just pray for him and he will turn out right in the end. Have faith in God.

George C

You might consider that the current death rate for military personnel is about the same as the general population for the same age group.

On the other hand, he might gain usefull skills and training, and you can't argue with the respect most other Americans will give him. He will qualify for life-long veterans benefits, and will always be a hero.

Or he can work at Walmart.

darrell m

let him go, there is nothing you can do, but support him in his decision.

91f4

As hard as it is, you smile, and tell him he's a great person you know. That he will be in your prayers even more than he already is. And that you love him and are even more proud of him than you already are. Then pray even harder that this mess is over soon. My prayers are with your's.

fangtaiyang

It is hard for any parent to watch their child go off to possible combat. It is also, unfortunately not a parent's decision.

R. Guetive

Congratulate him. There's no better time than right now where he can impact our country's success.

Leslie N

You might be scared for him. I would recommend letting him know how you feel but also let him know that he is an adult and able to make his own decision. Also let him know that you respect his decision and support him as best you can in his choices. You should be proud of him and the decision he is making. You raised him to be the person he is. It is honorable to want to serve your country. Please don't be one of those parents that loves all the rights and freedoms that the military protect and provide but not want your child to be a part of that honorable tradition.

Navy Sailor - GAI

Wow, how dramatic can you be? Seriously though!

Your little boy is a man.

Your little boy has higher odds of getting shot and killed in your neighborhood at home or getting killed in a car accidnet than in Iraq.

He is a man, let him be one without a lot of this crazy grief from you. He will be fine if he learns from his training and keeps his head in the game.

Please stop this kind of drama. We in the military need support not drama from home.

Kenji

I just told my mom im joining the marines, and i expained in great detail why i am joining you should ask your son how long hes been thinking about it, if he says a month tell him u think he should wait a lil longer, he needs to talk to ALL BRANCES! not just army, not to knock on the army but there recruter was bsin me to high heaven my dad was a recruter in the USMC so i know the drill, you need to let him know nothing is 100% the army u get your job at meps you talk to a "job councler" and they more or less pick for you, just let him no if he doesnt like it its 4 to 5 years of hell.... just my 2 cents man.... good luck but im sure your son will be fine!

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