How do I keep my daughter from joining the Army?

Steelers Fan

you can't really stop her when she turns 18 and she is an adult capable of making her own decisions. The only thing you can do is tell her how you feel about her joining the military. give her a realistic list of pros and cons. If she still wants to go after your discussion than it's not up to you to decide she can't go. Have her talk to people who have been in the army/military. They will give her a realistic view on things better than any recruiter. After all is said and done and she still wants to go into the Army all you can do is support her :)

nadadime

As an USAF Vet and the proud mom of a Marine Vet, I can understand your concerns. My son was 17 when he went to boot camp. The hardest thing I did was sign papers giving him my permission to join up. But in his heart it is what he wanted.
We may not always agree with the choices our kids make, all we can do is advise them, and support them. Be there for your daughter, no matter what she decides about the military, even if you don't agree with her decision. It will mean the world to her.

NOTE:
My son went to Iraq. It was the hardest thing he had ever been through. He came home safely, but he does have some PTS that he deals with. As a parent, it was the hardest thing I have been through too. It sounds as if you are doing all the right things. Just continue to be supportive of your daughter. It is really all you can do. I wish you all well.

Lurch

It may be time to cut the cord and let her follow her heart. There is nothing wrong with serving one's country honorably.

el chupacabra

You should let your daughter make her on decision. For a female in the medical field, she will be deployed to the middle east, but she will not be going out on patrols, outside the wire. This means that she will be working in a hospital on a base, which do get attacked on occasion by mortars and rockets, but she will not be exposed to direct fire engagements. I am not going to say that she will be safe for her whole deployment, but she will not have to drive up and down roads with IEDs, or be exposed to ambushes. My FOB gets mortared almost every day, and since I have been in Iraq, July 07, there have been no fatalities to American Soldiers from those mortars.
Also, think about how the military would be if every mother wouldn't allow their son or daughter to join because it might be dangerous. My mother would like nothing more than for me to come back home right now, but she deals with it the same way all the mothers who have children who fight for their country. She is proud to know that her son is willing to fight to keep her safe.

Glenn G

Let he make he own choices in life even if you think they are bad for her. It's the only way she can learn. The militray is a noble profession.

It will teach her alot of things. Plus as a woman she wont be involved in direct combat, maybe indirect but thats the chance people take.

Who knows she may end up on a hospital ship, and under international law, anyone who attacks a hospital ship is considered a war criminal so she would be safe. maybe hint a hospital ship for her.

oscarsix5

Let go and let her follow her heart. You won't be able to stop her once she's 18 and she may come to resent you because you tried. It is better to support in her decision and pray that it all works out for her!

â™¥ Infantry Wife â™¥

honestly i would suggest you support her decision..if this is something she feels strongly about then let her try it..the chances of her deploying are huge and she could deploy as a combat medic...but if you don't support her with this decision she's going to do it anyways when she's 18 and that might cause some hurt feelings in the end...it's tough when your child wants to join the military esp with everything going on in the world..my 16 yr old is planning on joining the army and he has the first hand knowledge of the the stresses and strain on both the soldier and the family...and my husband and i both have discussed the fact that he will deploy and he will deal with alot of things that will change him as a person..but we support his decision

johnny r

Wow, Ms. Fairie couldn't be more wrong! Crazy, how spouses think they understand this lifestyle. At all. Barracks life isn't bad --- and I am not saying this as a spouse. I am saying that as someone who lived in co-ed barracks. And Mrs. Fairie, an E-2 with less than 2 years TIS makes 1458.90 base pay each month, really, would it have been so hard to type in military pay chart on Google?

Listen, Sir, you know what I would reccomend? That you give your daughter some soldiers email addresses and have her speak to them directly. Woman are treated as equal in the military, because we are there to do a job, that's it. I joined at seventeen, and my mother (damn liberal hippies -- lol, jk) didn't approve. But I went from homeless, drug problems, couldn't keep a job, kicked out of college to steady job, promotions, learning discipline, raising a family with another soldier, and just generally becoming a genuinely better person.

Of course, your daughter needs to be informed of all the facts. Will she deploy as a medic? It really depends on where she is stationed, and what unit she's in. But most likely, yes. But deployment isn't what it used to be --- "We went to war, and a garrison broke out" as the saying goes. It's still dangerous, but it's no initial invasion.

I really encourage you to talk to her. If she's onehundredandten percent sure this is what she wants, do all the research you can with her. See if her recruiter will take her to a TMC (Troop Medical Clinic) and talk to some soldiers there. As a female in the Army, I've found my job isn't always what I wanted it to be, but it is always worth the experience.

chazzn101

have her talk to a navy recruiter.
and women do go into combat zones, they may not be in a combat unit but maint units as well as medical units are posted i combat/near combat zones and she will have to learn small arms weapons systems "soldier first mos second"recruiters have a quota to meet, exceeding the quota gets them bonuses, coins and commendation medals, they will tell only what is necessary, and the answers they give to questions are usually ambiguous but specific to the questions asked, ie: Are the barracks nice?
ans: why yes. no further info is volunteered.
nice is ambiguous because of different standards in personal opinion.
they don't really lie - but more like bearing false witness - presenting a truth in a misleading manner.

Bitsy

Leave her alone...this is her life....my mom stopped me and I resent it to this day and I am 47! It would have matured me and helped me have direction in my life. You should be proud that she wants to make her own decisions for HER life.

Mrsjvb

when she's 18, you can't stop her.

mnbvcxz52773

It is basically true. She will not be sent directly into combat if she gets a MOS that works only in a hospital. That hospital may be in Iraq, but she will not be sent out if she does something like x-ray, or surgical assistant, pharmacist aid, etc.

If she is a combat medic, then she may go out. Even if she does, if its what she wants to do, why are you trying to stop her if its what she wants.

I worked in Army Basic Training for three years. I saw a lot like your daughter come into Basic Training, and go on to do great things, saving lives, rebuilding lives, standing up for themselves. I trained about 2400 Soldiers in my 3 years.

Even at the bases in Iraq, its pretty safe on the base. Safer then most cities. Yes, sometimes people get killed on the base from a rocket, but more people get killed in US cities by cars. Going on a patrol is different of course, but at a hospital in Iraq your actually safer.

The recruiters do not lie about everything. With more details, I could answer your question better. They usually do not lie, they may not tell you everything, but by and large they do not outright lie. (Yes there are a few that do, got a couple in trouble myself when we found a recruit that was lied to).

james g

I have read some of the answers to your questions and most of them are right. You can't stop her when she turns 18. However, you can make sure she is fully aware of the career she goes into. Remind her that if she goes into a medical career field then there is a good chance she will see a front line one day in the Army. Tell her the Army deploys 15 months at a time now. If she has goals in life make sure you help her reach them. The military is a great experience. I am not in the Army, but I have served over 8 years now. College is the best route or a vo-tech to help her in the medical career field. She will get great training in the Armed Forces. Just remember if she wants to be in the military, have her check out each branch before deciding. Let her know if she is joining the Services to pay for college she needs to look at the Guard or Reserves. Active duty is a very hard way to earn a degree, but it can be done. Don't talk down about the military, but find all the info first before she joins. She may enjoy the structure the Armed Forces offer.

Ms. Faerie

First of all... The Army (nor any of the services) don't pay all that well (when you are Enlisted... Officers make considerably more - with 4 year degrees)... Your paycheck when you are an E-2 is MAYBE $800 per month... Which I guess is a lot (@ 18) when you don't have to pay for housing or food. (& that Bonus disappears like water!) BUT you will have to live in a barracks building - think summer camp, but 100 times worse. You may share a room & bathroom with someone who is (pick one or all) loud, rude, smelly, doesn't clean up after themselves and it goes on & on. Plus the other people you live with aren't exactly considerate.

After Basic (which is no picnic either), your day will consist of - PT for an hour (@ 0530), Breakfast, Work, Lunch, Work, More PT? (Depending on Unit), Dinner, Then Possibly More Work. This is EVERY day... Rain, Snow, Hail, Sun... You don't get sick days, you will get 'reduced duty' - unless you are hospitalized or may contaminate others, then you may get to stay in your room. You may or may not get weekends or evenings off. Keep in mind while all her friends are at college having a good time, she's going to be working!

You can tell her the following...
When you sign a contract for military service - in any branch - you are committing to 8 years that you will be available for the military to call you to service. For example, many people join the Army for 4 years of Active Duty (AD) service - then the remaining 4 years they spend in the Inactive Ready Reserves (IRR). But, if the Army needs you @ 7 years, 10 months - they can recall you to AD (involuntarily) and you will be required to serve the additional term (however long they need you for).

DO NOT believe everything the recruiters tell you! They LIE! If you are being promised anything, do your research & get it in writing (if its not written down in your contract - you aren't going to get it!). But do talk to more than one branch - you may decide that X is better than Y for your personal situation. Yes... The inital money in the Army is better, but the Air Force has a WAY better quality of life!

Also, no matter what anyone tells you - YES, you are probably going to be deployed to a combat zone (especially in the ARMY!). Depending on your branch & MOS will depend on exactly where, when & for how long - but pretty much everyone, no matter what their MOS is, is getting deployed now. (Medical Jobs typically do one rotation (2-3 yrs.) in a hospital & one rotation deployed... Recruiters LIE!)

If she still REALLY wants to join... Suggest that she go to college & join the ROTC program. It is a way to see how the military works without the long term commitment. Plus either way she will have a degree that will get her a better job in the long run!

Also, just as an FYI... Female Soldiers aren't treated very well overall (I see it PERSONALLY every day!). I don't care what anyone says - I wouldn't join the Army - its definitely a 'men are the best' type of environment. (I personally witness this behavior - I'm not trying to be mean, it is just the way it is.)

MadMaxx

Honestly... in my opinion she shold join a reserve unit first. The nice thing about reservesw is that once basic training is over... it's a one weekend a month gig. She'll go to the same basic as everyone else and is she doesn't like it... it's only a couple months to deal with rather than 4 years.

If she likes it, she can go active duty.

buffywalnuts

convince her to enlist the minimum time in and pray that she will be well I'm sure she will be fine you never know this could be a great career for her don't hold her back she may hold that on you if she don't go..........I feel your concern

btexpress24

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djack

Have you talked to her about the national guard. It's still the Army, and no it's not summer camp, and yes she may go to Iraq. If that happens then she won't be walking patrol with an infantry platoon like a male medic would, she would be at an aid station or hospital, which take mortars from time to time. It's not perfectly safe, but it's not jogging after dark in Detroit either.

With the guard though, she can get the same bonus, and then come back to go to college for free. She can enlist on the college first program & be non-deployable for anything from 2-4 years depending on how she works her training dates in her contract.

This is stuff I can help you with, but ultimately you have to come to terms with her decisions, help her make good ones if you can, and then stand out of the way.

Debbie D

Good luck.. I don't think you can stop her. She shouldn't trust any one because they will tell her anything she wants to here. I wish the best to you.

jackpi21

Just shoot off her big toe, and that should take care of it! Or you could convince her to focus on something else she finds more interesting! If she gets pregnant they won't want her! If nothing works then tell her you will disown her if she signs any contracts from the military or the US Government!

fmhguitars

Your right, after boot camp they will put her where ever they want. The recruiters have no say once she signs on the dotted line.

Also if something should happen to her , forget it. The VA has it's own system that nobody can budge. She will either get no benefits or the minimum and not what she should receive and then your in for a fight for a life time.

I'm a Vietnam Vet and still fighting for my benefits like thousands of others.

Sincerely yours,

Fred M. Hunter

lemontreegr

At 17 going on 18 she would be fresh meat for the wolves (before i get thumbs down this is the US Army we are talking about) but does that mean its not for her well maybe or maybe not some woman do very well in the Army , tell her to look at other branch's before making a final decision.

nokia_navyseal

Tell her that she can enlist when BOTH the bush girls do. That way she'll never serve in the military!

Jessie

Just remind her who the president is :) I've answered this question many times before. Research this war!! It doesn't matter where your daughter is recruited or what she is doing, the chances of her being shot at are high. Its sad, I know she wants to make good money, but not too many make it past basic. Lets just hope she doesn't. Remind her that most basic training camps are filthy. My friend just left one in NC because he kept getting skin infections from being there. Basic is tough, very physically and mentally strenuous!

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