How is it being a navy wife that's under age?

Mr Puma

Here are some sites for Military Wives and Mothers. Put these in your favorites for now and go though them later. They are loaded with help and support for you.

GUMBIE DAHMIT

You are still a wife no matter what, It is going to be difficult since you are so young and inexperianced in many things that you may not be able to handle. Wow

Decisivness

It's going to be difficult. However, since your 16, you can and should take advantage of the free college education you can have. No offense, I'm not saying your this way, but most 16 year old girls need CONSTANT attention. You will not be getting constant attention. My advice, keep busy. You have your daughter to keep you company/busy. Like I said, I would also take advantage of the free education if I were you. You need to understand that your husband is answering to the call of duty which is one of the most honorable things, if not the most honorable thing one can do. He needs you to be there to support him. It will be hard, but stay busy and it won't be as bad. Good luck.

lOvEmYmArINe_SeMpErFi

be aware of rocky start at first. but he will be provide for you and your child. just support him because you play a big role on his damn atitutde lol. good luck and hang in there.

Annie

Military life is tough no matter how old you and your spouse are. It is a huge adjustment. The honest truth is, you are going to find yourself dealing with far more issues and often, having to deal with them on your own. Even while he is not deployed, duty will come first, so things like getting the car in for matienence, taking care of you child when you are not feeling well, etc will generally all fall to you for the most part. A clingy wife can cause issues for her spouse at work (and I am not saying that you are one) so you need to be able to take care of things and handle the seperation from your family and friends. More than half of military marriages fail..a scarey statistic, but true. You are going to be the one asked to give up a lot of things and if you truely can not do that, then the military is not for you.

It may be hard to make friends because of your age. The best thing you can do is get out and get involved. Most bases will have play groups through the chapel or the family support center. Join the enlisted spouse's group. Go to story time at the library. The more you get out and meet other stay at home Mom's, the better it will be. Your military friends are crucial when it comes to getting settled in new places and dealing with things like babysitting. Volunteering can be another good way to go, although in all honesty many agencies will not allow people under 18 to volunteer (depending on what you would be doing).

I am going to address your education. You make no mention of it, but if you have not gotten a diploma or GED, it is something you need to do. At some point, you may want to look for a PT job, even on base, simply as a way to earn some extra money or to get out and spend time with folks who do not feel Dora is the best topic of conversation. Without a GED, it will be nearly impossible. Of course, since you would currently still be a HS student, getting hired PT in some places during your current tour might not be a problem, but once you reach graduation age and still have no GED/diploma and/or move to a new base, it will only get tougher.

Get your driver's license as soon as possible. Many states have different laws and requirements. I don't know what your's may be, but you will need to get moving on that ASAP. Your spouse is not going to be allowed time off to take you to all the appointments that may come up or to run you on errands during duty hours. Since you may not get base housing right away, you may find yourself a bit stuck during the day. Making friends will certainly help, but your license is going to be a key issue..get it as soon as you can.

I wish you nothing but the best. It is a huge adjustment for most wives...know that women twice your age have had a tough time. Use the support you have access to, don't be afraid to try new things and be ready for lots of changes. It can be a wonderful life.

migbuster

Mr. P. Has all the right answers. Utilize the site he has on his answers.

Good luck.

camhenson

Been a military spouse is by far one of the hardest jobs in America. You have to realize that there will be many times in his career where you will have to take a back seat to the navy no matter how much either of you object. The role of a military spouse is a very selfless job and often thankless but one of the most beautiful positive life altering experiences you will ever have as long as you and your husband avoid the riff raff

And kudos for the nerve to not allow age to stop your young love from developing. Many forget that not to long ago it was normal for "underage" young women to marry older men and start family's my grandparents got married when they were 19 and 11 and they were married for the rest of their lives or 78 yrs not a common sight in today's world

NWIP

Take it one day at a time, it will be very difficult at first getting used to him not being there. You will have to be prepared to leave your family and friends when he gets orders to his first command after finishing A school. So while he is at Boot start going through your things, throwing stuff away, updating, etc.. make sure you have copies of your birth certificates, marriage certificates, SSN cards as well so when you move you have it all right there.

It will be hard at the first location especially being underage and if he deploys when you do not have a DL then that can make it very difficult. Make friends with some spouses from the command and they can usually help out. Also take the Spouse 101 class that is offered through Fleet & Family Support Center on base, it is free and can help you out. They offer other programs through the FFSC as well.

There is online groups that you can get information from as well. Like on Operation Homefront (click on Forums) and Military.com (click on discussions, then Military Life, Spouses & Community).

Mrsjvb

forget the damn age difference what in the HELL is a 14 year old doing getting pregnant. where were your parents?!

have you at least stayed in high school? if not you are screwed in life.. military spouse or not.

coorscowgirl101

hey welcome to military wife life!!! my name is sarah im 26 im married to a deployed NG soldier.. I would like to invite you to join soldiersgirls.com were a group of wifes from all over and we are really there for eachother no judgment and there some wifes around your age 17 and 18 on there.. so you would have someone to connect to! hope to see you there!

waiting4u

Well, since things are already done and you dont need more people judging you based soley on your age, i just wanna give you positive feedback!

First off,like many people have said, your going to have to support him. He wont be able to do his job properly if he has problems at home. It takes alot to be a military wife. Live everyday as if he were deploying tomorrow. dont worry about the little things and enjoy the time you have as a whole family. and yes, there will come times, MANY times, were his job comes before you. You just have to accept that. Just be patient. Communication is the key to a successful marriage! Good luck and welcome to the HARDEST job in the military- being a military wife!

lorimartow

I'm a Navy wife and my husband is 10 years YOUNGER than me we married when he was 22 and i was 32...let people talk about that for a while.
First of all when your husband gets stationed somewhere be sure and contact the ombudsman in the area so that you have a point of contact. Maybe try to join the FRG (family readiness group) so that you will have activities to keep you busy...maybe you can help with the monthly meetings or something. You have to be willing to really support him in what he is doing. He will be deployed a few times a year. They go on short cruises (2 months or so) and then every year and a half they have a long cruise (6-11 months). It will be very important for you to realize the stress that he will be under imagine living on a ship confined to a room that 5 other people share with you for months at a time.
There are pros and cons to living on base. If you live on base you would probably have an easier time of meeting people...then again if you live off base you can make money with the BAH...after we pay our rent and utilities that would be covered by the Navy we pocket about $100.00 (a little more) a month.
One thing for sure it's a wonderful adventure.

YouAgain

Good Lord, where are you from that allowed you to get married to someone that much older than you while you're still a minor?! You must have gotten parental consent, at which point someone should smack your parents upside their heads...

Keep in mind that the divorce rate for military couples is even higher than that for civilian, and you're even worse off because you're so young AND you have a young child. Being a kid, WITH a kid will make the stress in your relationship even higher than a typical adult's, not to mention the fact that you're still immature means you won't be able to cope with the stress as well as an adult might (I say might, because their are a lot of adults who act like 5 year olds and just being an adult doesn't make you capable of handling the crap life throws at you).

Michelle

wow, you beat me. my husband and i got married when he was 20 and i was 17. i think one of the hardest parts to deal with is bootcamp because communication is EXTREMELY difficult. it's hard to adjust from high school to the real world, and from seeing each other every day to almost no contact whatsoever. it'll put your relationship to the ultimate test & it really is an emotional rollercoaster .. but well worth the ride if you really do love him.

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