How much power dose a military spouse have?

Nicole

The only thing that YOU can do is SUPPORT YOUR HUSBAND! Do not get into the middle of HIS business at work. You will only cause him even more problems than he is already having. Just be his "soft place" to fall on, listen to him, and encourage him. He knows how to take care of this himself and will be better off if you stay out of it. They can make him stay late: his job doesn't end at 5 PM~it doesn't end until he gets out. I know that even though my daughter and I are my husband's family, we come second. You're going to have to learn this, too, or you will be in for a lot of heartache and stress. I used to be just like you, but have come to realize my role as a military spouse. I'm really not trying to be mean and rude, but this is HIS problem.

Don't listen to some of the posts above! I can't believe that some of the people above actually still has the mentality of "the Army didn't issue him a wife"! If the military didn't give a s h i t about the family members, there wouldn't be so many resources out there for family members. Get your head out of your a s s e s! The military has evolved some since the past 40 years!!!!!!!!

Leogirl0804

I hate to break it to you, but the government did not issue your husband a wife. If your husband is being asked to stay until 2200, I'm sure there is a good reason for it. They may not be able to talk about it. The other possibility is that your husband is using the platoon leader as the bad guy and going out after work.

Hold em Rox.

Sounds like family life is starting to get in the way with his job.....I really don't think you want him to get a LOR do you?? If you are constantly calling him at work and making him drive you around then that is a problem.....this is the military life....part of being the spouse. And FYI if ya'll are stationed overseas then they can send you back to the states if they can find reasons and if the leader is threatening that, then honey he must have something. Trust me YOU do NOT want to be sent back here. And as far as you being able to do anything.....uh hello NOTHING such is the military lifestyle. It's really none of your business concerning how late he has to stay for work and such. They are his bosses...an LOR is not something you want your husband to get. If I were you I would lay off and what's so bad about driving yourself around?? Or does your base have a shuttle bus?? Look I'm not trying to beat you up or anything, but you sound quite disillusioned/ naive as to how the military works. Do you have any good friends that are willing to drive you around while he's at work?? Well good luck....

michelle a

Please don't waste IG's time with stupid complaints, they have better things to do. If you're husband is staying later than normal of course there's a reason for it ok. You have to remember that there is never a set time to go home, with the exception of family time (some posts have this time set for Fridays, and some don't have it at all).

macdyver60

Get over yourself, the Army owns his A** 24-7 until his contract expires and currently they have the sole option of extending that, You are the wife he is making the money, shut up and take care of the kids until he gets home and instead of greeting him at the door with whining try to have something positive to say and dinner on the table, It sounds to me the Platoon Leader is doing him a favor by keeping him late so he doesn't have to deal with a wife who has a napoleonic complex.

BTW HE DOES HAVE TO ASK THE PLATOON LEADER BEFORE HE DOES ANYTHING, I also agree with the platoon leader that he needs to stand up to his wife, You stated you are overseas, which 99% of the time means you are unemployed presently, If you can't take care of the MILITARY ISSUED home with no job to go to all day long you need to be shipped back stateside where you will have to get off your lazy miserable controlling behind and work!

You gotta be kidding me!

Boredstiff

Not much. If you go to anybody he will ostracized by his leaders and peers. Sounds like You PL is a punk. If he continues this though I am sure that the rest of the platoon will let him down when it counts. Like failing an inspection or FTX.

revolution is brewing

The car thing is normal. My daughter in law didn't drive when my son got to Iraq they chewed him out because she was setting back home with 2 kids. He's not just picking on you. They have to make sure that if hubby has an order he doesn't leave a hardship behind. Try not to take it so personal. I know easier said than done. Good luck! and please thank your husband for me and thank you!

Kitty

My hiusband is a Senior Officer. He has had difficult & unresonable Superiors and we have spent almost one third of our married life apart. That is the way it is. He loves his Career, I love mine. We support each other in that privately.

Your husband is a Soldier he ought to start behaving like one. You married him. Did you expect that he would be home in time for dinner every night? Did you expect him to not occasionally come up against a Superior he found difficult?

You are going to make the situation worse for him if you don't get a grip. May I respectfully suggest you find something to occupy your time more usefully.

Michael A

All you can do is get over it. He signed the contract and has to live up to it. It is not a 9-5 job. I consistently work 14 hours days so that my Marines can go home early at about 1800. So if your husband has a hard driving platoon sergeant than maybe he will not die when and if he has to go to Iraq.
All you can do is complain, which it seems like you are pretty good at.

lucky_j_2003

nothing he belongs to the military not you

Christopher B

A military spouse has the power to make her husband a success, or a failure. You do this not by trying to fight his fights for him - this is the road to fustration, the disrespect of his fellow soldiers, and failure. You can make him a success by telling him you believe in him and that you know he'll do the right thing, being there for him when he has a rough day, making the place look nice and having a home cooked meal ready for him when he gets back from a field exercise, and telling him you are proud of him. My final advice, make him confident in your ability to hold down the fort when it is time for him to deploy. The last thing he needs to be doing is worrying about you when he is working long hours, around heavy machinery, under constant stress in a land far away from home.

strangedaze23

While I agree with some of what was said there is a person you could go to anonymously. Every division in the military has a person in charge of quality of life.

All the military branches have a quality of life initiative. This is ultimately run at the highest levels in the military. The idea is to make sure that the military does not destroy the morale of the troops and to help with troop retention.

When I was in the military there was a CO that would keep soldiers on duty longer than any other company just on a whim, with no real reasoning. Soldiers would just be standing around for hours until he felt it was "dark" enough to send them home.

Ultimately, this CO was stripped of his command because the retention level for his company fell. His career was over. And when the Inspector Generals office came to find out why the retention level was so low, they imparted to the soldiers that they could anonymously file a grievance with the IG if the command was running counter the quality of life initiative of the army.

So, if your hubby is not actively training, or they do not have a legitimate reason to keep them on extended duty. They Platoon leader could be afoul of the quality of life initiative of the military and should be stopped. Not only for you, but for the sake of the troops and the morale of the unit.

Adam T

Get on the General's wife's good side. ;-)

Military life's a b+++h.

River Rat Vietnam

Nothing. Your husband is required to follow the instructions of his platoon leader. Period. All you can do is tell him to get out once his enlistment is up.

Cloth on Bum, Breastmilk in Tum!

First, a platoon leader cannot revoke your command sponsorship and send you back to the states. He's only an LT, he's not nearly high ranking enough to do that. Second, there's absolutely nothing you can do about what he makes your husband do. Anything you say or do is only going to make it worse for your DH. My hubby had some issues with an NCO and his 1SG moved him to another platoon - maybe your hubby can talk to the 1st sergeant and see if anything can be done. Thats about the only thing I can think of that would help. But, yeah, there's nothing you can do. As someone else said, if the government wanted your DH to have a wife, they would have issued him one. You are their last priority, unfortunately, and if you can't live with it he needs to get out of the military when his enlistment is up.

Armywife

I really don't think you should listen to any of these people. My husband is in the army and I love him more than anything in the world. I support his every choice, but if I have a problem with something I make sure the whole army world knows about it. The wives have a lot more power than the husbands because they do not have any obligation to the army. The first thing you can do is contact IG and complain that you are being mistreated. You can also contact his first sargeants wife, but that will definitely get him in a little trouble. Then you can call your congressman. I had a friend call their congressman because they were making the soldiers stay all night doing extra PT. Now PT ends promtly at 8:30am and they continue their day and home by 3pm! These people tell you not to interfere because some military men love the army more than their wives, but with me and hopefully you thats not the case. You can have them change almost anything.

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