Husband in the Marine Corp, anyone else think like him?

Rawrrrr

He isn't right in treating you like that, but from his point of view he is looking at the situation logically - but what he doesn't realize is that feelings aren't logical. His thinking could be from the way he was raised and/or from his military training. The real world is based on logic, for the most part - but emotions are real and need to be dealt with. Emotions can't be cured with logic, and you can't explain them with logic. If he doesn't see anything wrong with the way he acts then you are going to have a hard time trying to get him to see things your way. You can recommend counseling, but other than that you are going to have a tough time retraining his thinking.

Leogirl0804

The male species "fixes" things. They are not about feelings and it's hard for them to understand feelings if they don't understand what brought them about. I think your husband is a little insensitive to your needs. He may not know how to comfort you until he knows how to "fix" it.

Curt

I don't know if that's because he is in the Marine Corps. Try and talk out with him, even though that doesn't seem to be going to well. The best I can think of.

fr_chuck

This is how many business and military are, Men by and large don't work in a world of emotions, they are a sign of weakness to them.

So you feel the way you do, you don't have to have him understand or accept it, you feel that way. Call him silly and go on with your life.

Mark B

Feelings are what creates wars toughen up soft one!

robocop48

Sounds entirely normal to me...but I'm a guy....I understand that women think/emote in a very weird and illogical way though...doubt that I would ever be able to comprehend the way they think!

redhawktotem

he is taking a logical approach to getting to the problem and a way to fix it. It is more common in business than the military. but he is going a bit far with it. and does not mean he shouldn't validate your feelings. I am betting that he has not yet been to either NCO school or Staff Academy. Either of of those would stress the need to validate the question from the start. sounds like he only read the middle part of the book.

Katie

Dump him.

tat2me1960

While he needs to look at his own emotions that way in order to maintain self-control in a MILITARY situation, and as a soldier, this is not at all the right way to respond to CIVILIAN world of being human.

It is an emotionless blockade to communication, is belittling, condescending, disrespectful, and harmful to your self-esteem. I think he needs to VALIDATE his own claim to loving you by learning some compassion, empathy, and understanding when dealing with you, or other civilians, in the OTHER real world.

You can't change him, but he can change himself if he can see the wisdom here. If not, don't cheat yourself...divorce him.

Scoots

Tell him feelings are real and don't always follow reasoning and logic. They just are. And does he do this with his own feelings? Is he allowed to feel without justifying it to you? If so, that's pretty one-sided. I think it's cold to not comfort you before he requires a litany of reasons.

spunkyshell2000

My guess would be that this way of thinking is drilled into to be "the best marine". It isn't the way the real world works or acts, that much I know for sure. He has the mind of the military with some possible underlying issues. Don't let him invalidate the way you feel, we each are different and handle things different than others. Let him know that he's making you feel this way, that you don't like the way he's making you feel and something needs to change.

vanessa w

fr chuck hit it right on the head sweetie. truthfully, if you're unhappy though, you should just get out. why stay and be miserable. you're not going to change him. sounds to me like you two are like oil and water.

john s

he's of cartesian persuasion. too mechanical. Tell him thats not how the world works either.

FootballFan1012

Could you be... Katie Holmes? I feel bad for you if you are.

Bugs Bunny

Get used to it, he's a jarhead.

Bearable

babe hes a moron ...pack up and leave,its not how the real world works, how would he know he joined the marines where most of the thinking is done for him ...gee

nothings dumber than a man who would shoot who hes told to

longhair140

It's the haircut, honey...pisses 'em off in general. Oh, and the marine jokes,... Do you know why Marines hate M&Ms? ....They take too long to peel....

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