Husband/wife in the military, do you do this?

an88mikewife

I dont call it "stuck" at home. Being at home, near my computers and phone makes me feel better. This is our 3rd deployment together, and I have never, not ONCE ever missed a phone call or a log in. EVER. And that is because I choose to be home, and always be there for my husband, anytime he is able to call or log in. Wouldnt have it any other way.

We did switch to Verizon, so I am able to get my yahoo messenger logged on and receive a message like I would a text. Otherwise I probably wouldnt leave my house.

That is the way I do it, and I wouldnt have it any other way. My husband knows that no matter what time of the day or night, he can ALWAYS log in and I will be there for him.

mustangsally76

I don't do that. If I'm home, awesome. If I'm not, well there's an answering machine and I know he'll call back later. We have a cell phone but he can never remember the number :0) He doesn't expect my life to stop for him when he's gone. I am busier while he's away than when he is at home. You are torturing yourself..find something else to do to occupy your time. This sounds like it is your first deployment. Hang in there...you'll be fine and as time passes you will act like this less. I promise.

Its hard not to. Thankfully I had a cell phone while my husband was deployed, but I felt like I had to make sure that if I were going somewhere I would have service and to make sure I had enough battery. It made me absolutely sick when I missed a call, but atleast I got to hear his voice over the message and I knew he was okay. How long has he been deployed? I know that this got better with me after his R&R I realized I can't totally stop my life just because he is gone, and he was understanding and didn't want me to do that either. Hopefully things get better.

Mick

Buy a new cell phone as soon as you can so that you aren't stuck like this. If you have to get a prepaid one and only use it to talk to him, then it shouldn't be too expensive. It's not good for you. But it's good for him that you are willing to wait by the phone for him to call. If he is deployed overseas then he needs to talk to you as often as he can. Good luck to you.

Boo

I don't blame you for waiting by the phone. Hearing his voice means a lot to you as I'm sure it does for him too. I used to write my husband a letter every day when he was out at sea. He told me that he got more letters than anyone else. He said it made his day, every day. You could spend that time by the phone, writing letters, or even making him a care package. Just be sure to put lots in it cuz he'll have to share it with his friends. lol
Stay positive, support him 100%, and you'll do fine. Please tell him "thank you" for me, for all that he does in the military.

Wonder Woman

Mine (boyfriend) is about to go in. I can't imagine waiting by the phone. I would go so crazy!!! :( I don't blame you though. I think it is scary because if they don't get to call, then you start imagining the worst. That is what will drive me insane!

â™¥willowâ™¥

I totally know where you are coming from! I dont blame you at all. I write letters... dozens and dozens of letters! I feel like I am really talking to him. Some times it is really hard to find time to call or to even write when you are downrange, so make sure he knows that it's fine that he cant get in touch as much as he would want to... he doesn't need that stress in addition to everything else. Sometimes I wanted to yell at him for not calling for weeks on end, but it doesn't help anyone's situation. You have to tear yourself away from the phone. The prepaid phone was a good idea; then only he could have the phone number, and with phone cards on his end, he might be able to call you more often. But I was attached to my cell phone for far too long... my friends would actually tease me about it. I was afraid to take a shower just in case he would call me! Absurd, I know, but his phone calls meant so much to me... as you no doubtingly understand. So I started writing him letters... just about a letter a day. I would tell him what I did that day and about his family and his friends back home. I would take paper to his best buddies and have them write quick little notes so I could send them with my letters (his friends werent really ones to write him on their own). And as far as I'm concerned, I liked packing care packages more than he liked to get them!! I would go to a walmart or dollar tree and find all of his favorite things. And take pictures!! The more pictures the better!

And as hard as it was for me, I had to "get a life." My husband told me once that he liked to know that I was out doing stuff while he was gone, not at home freaking out for 15 months! He said that you have to be strong to be an army wife... that's why he knew he could marry me... that he knew I would be a great partner for him. Just as your husband knows that you will be there for him no matter what... but it's our duty to be strong wives to our husbands. It's okay to cry and miss him, but I try my hardest not to let him see that part of me when he's gone.

â“â“œâ“â“£â“ž

I do already and he's only preparing to deploy (2nd time). My fiance will be going over at the end of this month and I'm not looking forward to it. It's only natural though, because if you love someone you are going to worry about them. But try not to let it take over your life. I should take my own advice though.

I'm stationed in Korea and I work 12 hours a day at the TMC. When I get off is about the time when he is done training for the night. I'll stay up and talk to him as long as I can, because I know that there will be days when I won't be able to talk to him. I want to take every oppourtunity to support him and let him know I care. I just wish I could do more.

I'm sure that your husband appreciates what you do, but he probably doesn't want you to worry. If you set up some sort of system, like if he hasn't called by X time of day, then he isn't going to be able to. That way you are not waiting around for a call that might not come at all.

Good luck. I know it's tough hun!

Rawbert

Sounds like it.
Go find a hobby to help pass time. Write letters to him so that he has something to read on his free time.

Mrsjvb

Nope. i do NOT put my life on hold just because he has deployed. Worse thing in the world is to sit around waiting for a call or email that might not come at all.

Doubletap

Nah...I wouldnt wanna miss a call either. Both me and my wife are prior service and have both been deployed. We never had trouble getting a hold of each other but when we did miss a call it just made it feel like she was all that much further away. Good luck hope he gets home soon.

ArmyWifey

I don't sit and wait but I do check frequently and often feel very jumpy when I know he's supposed to call.

You will drive yourself nuts if all you do is wait! Get a reliable cell phone that he can call you on and then you will feel more able to go do things! You can always get a pay as you go phone and use that.

Honestly you may not like what I'm gonna say but here it is: As much as you long to hear from him you need to trust God to make that happen and go on with doing the things that interest you -- hobbies, classes, etc - I'm sure hubby doesn't want you to just sit at home either! This is a chance for both of you to grow in your relationship. I know it's hard when you miss a call but try to think about the women in previous conflicts who had to wait months.

It's a catch 22.

~Katie~

I have my cell phone as my only phone, so I guess it makes it easier! I hate going places where I don't have service during the hours he normally calls. I have stayed up for half the night before on days I know he travels because I worry about him. I do the same with my family too, though! I think all of us go through that at some point!

Salsarican

I think an answering machine is needed here or at least forward the call to wherever you may be at. You can put anybody's number down:)

Bert Weidemeier

Hang in there, its not easy when they're deployed.

Still, I think its better being on your end than on his end, waiting everyday for the mail, and not seeing any for a week.

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