I have a son who is 22 and openly gay. He is trying to join the military and I wonder if it is wrong?

Angelbaby7

The Gay lifestyle is really frowned upon in the military. period.

Colbert Nation

You can't be openly gay and join the US Military, so don't worry about it, the Recruiter will not let him join.

rasta_koala

Im gay

Just lost my bf to the Military

he was open, until he joined...

so yeah, let 'em join. but he cant be himself

BonBon

Do you feel able to talk to him and tell him your concerns and give him advice? If not - be prepared to be there for him and support him as a mother who loves her son no matter what...

Julie N

you might want to sit down and tell him what happens to guys who are perceived as gay in the military. unfortunately, not much has changed. he should explore other avenues. if he's openly gay, they may not accept him in the first place.

wolfgame30

you cant be openly gay and be in the military. They will drop him. Or he can not be openly gay and still be in,.. simple

origen01

If he's openly gay its illegal. He has to be at least publicly "straight" if he wants to join.

lollipop

He will really get hurt. Being gay in the military is frowned upon, especially since some men in the navy were accused of being gay. Many people on board will not like it, and if he "openly" tells the recruiter, he will NOT get accepted.

joby10095

It depends on what he wants to do. Don't ask, don't tell is there, if he is openly gay, he won't get in. He will have to keep his mouth shut about it around superiors especially, and, it depends on his unit. The Marines are tougher than most services, and, if he is going Army or Marines in combat arms, particularly, he may be in for a hard time if they find out. If he keeps his mouth shut until he learns who he can talk around, he should be fine.

spartacus_nuc

I was promoted to civilian last year, and having been a submariner, we bore the brunt of many gay jokes. However, if it became known that one of the crew was actually gay, he was pretty much ostracized. Todays politically correct military doesn't allow "calibration", as we called it. It still happens, but not as frequently as it used to. Unfortunately, the political correctness took away what little fun was left. Your son will have few, if any friends, and I'm sure you know exactly how important it is to have people you can count on in any branch of the military. I still keep in touch with a bunch of the guys on myspace.

Tammi D

i say being gay is wrong.

why does he want to join the military? his reason may or may not be wrong.

chrispkreme333

Hopefully he understands...otherwise...he should be fine

Mrsjvb

it's doubtful that he will get in, if he is openly gay. he won't even pass the initial screening most likely.

If he does manage to get in, the FIRST time he slips up and declares himself, he will be discharged, even if he is a top notch soldier. Policy regs mandate it.

GunBunny

tell him to join the navy. it is the safest bet for gays.

Brad V

The openly gay thing will get him busted up, really fast. By being open about it, if the military doesn't do it, his comrades will !

censoredbyevil

Tell him he is crazy to want to join the military as an openly gay, and remind him that if he goes straight the military will be glad to have him if he is otherwise qualified. Tell him that is his choice and he must set his priorities.

Viva La Eire!

well theres not much you can do really, i mean, there going to find out eventually and chances are there not going to like it!
is he aware of there attitude toward gay people?

wayne h

keep him outta the military he aint wanted in there, neither is he even allowed

Ladybones

don't let him join if he can't keep quiet, don't ask don't tell policy, if you love him enough don't let him, he's gonna get hurt if he can't keep quiet.. just my opinion though.

mariner31

I thank YOU for your service, and your son's INTENT.

BUT, if you as his mother can't tell him what the current rules are... I guess he'll come home from boot camp rather quickly.

I'm a Navy veteran, I started enlisted and earned a commision... I knew 3 guys who were gay, but not openly. YET, they were all investigated, caught, and discharged. And ONE was allowed back in (AW1 Keith Meinhold).

I am straight, but have a number of gay/lez aqaintances through my pre-Navy time as a stage-hand, and LOVED their eccentricities there... but they do NOT belong in the US Military today.

I hope the laws, the awareness will change

inthrutheoutdoor

He's an adult ! Your concern is understandable and valid. He's most likely aware of the pressures ahead but may not truly understand , until he experiences it. All you can do is be open with him about your concerns.Then he will do what he wants anyway , be happy for him. So be a mother and support your son, share with him the things you know and let him know how much you care.Then let him go and wish him well, good or bad.. Life is life!!!

Metallica_rulz

No, join it is all good. But, I would be afraid for him, as they may not take it as open as I would. Just be caucius.

bungee

he better understand it, let him grow up and make his own decisions

mark_c_sterling

Just give him the facts concerning the don't ask, don't tell policy. He is an adult and can make his own decisions and mistakes. You would be surprised how many people are openly serving in the military. Many commanders at this point really don't care as long as the soldier is discreet. They look at it as having another desperately needed soldier in the unit. Let him know that when and if he joins to ensure that he keeps his orientation off of places like myspace. It's too easy for people to find and report that. He will likely be living in the barracks, at least at the beginning and will likely have a roommate, so he'll have to be careful. I would recommend that he not enter the military, but if he is set on going, ensure he knows the facts!

Pissed_Limey

If you are talking about the US military, then tell him to forget it. There are homophobic politicians in charge over there and your son won't get far. Tell him to learn how to speak French or Dutch, their militaries accept openly gay people.

DutchMarine

Dude you have to be Dutch to join the Royal Dutch army so that won't work out for you man, and still gays are not really accepted in the Dutch army.

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