I wanna join the army but..?

Jason H

If she would leave you because you join the army, then she doesn't fully support you and probably wouldn't make a good wife. I lost my fiance to a deployment to Iraq. It can make or break a woman..... It happens a lot....

man_marathon

she's going to leave you anyway

The Scorpion

If she says that, you need to get rid of her...like yesterday.

Jerry C

Do what you think is best for you. Honestly if she isn't willing to support your decision then let her go. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

lady_bella

A good fiance/wife, a loving and supportive fiance/wife will express her concerns for you going into the Army, but will also support your decision.
So I would reconsider your relationship with her. If you really want to join the Army, and you believe that it's your calling, then please go.
Your fiance may just be afraid of losing you and she's afraid of dealing with that grief itself.
Since you're not married yet, you could propose to her that you all can wait on getting married until you are out of the Army. Unless you make it a career, which would be awesome for you in the long run. This way, if you decide to wait to get married, it will give you and her enough time to think about what you want to do with your relationship. You don't need the added stress thinking about if she's going to leave you later on while you're in the Army, because that will affect your ability to do your duty as a Soldier and you will be distracted, therefore leaving you very vulnerable in getting hurt/killed.
It's totally up to you on what you want to do. I wish you well.

billy d

You should seriously consider what she is saying. Putting a family member through that is very difficult. On the other hand she should at least try to support your aspirations.

Ask yourself why you want to join the Army in the first place? Is it because your think it would make for an interesting career? Maybe just a way to spend the next few years of your life because you've got nothing else to do? Maybe a way to help get money for a higher education? Maybe because you love your country and feel a calling to serve it?

If it is for any reason other than the latter then I would take heed to your girlfriend. There are many interesting jobs out there where you can make as much or more money than in the army. Then again, you'll do things in the Army that you'll never get to do in civilian life, but you'll also endure hardships in the military that you'd never have to endure in civilian life.

If you're considering this because you feel it to be a patriotic duty then the question is simple; what do you love more, your girlfriend or your country?

Chris L

She must be very insecure if she's trying to blackmail you into staying. And, this is, in the long run, at the beginning of your relationship. I have a feeling that she'd continue to try this type of tactic once you were married. She's immature and throwing a temper tantrum. Not marriage material in my book because it's only going to get worse.

It takes a very special woman to be the wife of a military man. Most military wives are wonderful in this respect, but yours strikes out before she even comes to bat.

I met my ex-wife while I was in the military and she knew I was going to make it a career. However, she thought she'd 'change' me once we had the vows done. I gave her up and gained a very good career. I've never regretted it.

My advice is to follow your dream. You'll meet women that will more than exceed your present one and will be there when the going gets tough. I feel that the present one would bail on you at the first opportunity.

Good luck in the Army.

soldiermedic0113

If she is not willing to stand behind you regardless of your decision, she ain't meant for you. And as a 20 year old Specialist already in the Army, I would tell you to really consider what you are doing before you make a commitment to the Army because they are sending people straight to Iraq from AIT. Think about and choose wisely. Godspeed!!!

Edge Caliber

Maybe you haven't been getting along because of this problem?

Anyways I would always choose my wife over a job anyday and wouldn't need to ask.

Marco R

If you join, she's gone. Things aren't going so well anyways. She just wants you to stick around so you won't have any options but her. Selfish and stupid. Follow your dreams man. Do what you want to do, and will make you happy in the long run. In all honesty, she's the type of woman who would only be supportive if things are exactly her way or benefit her. Whether you get in or not, she won't make a good wife. Drop the dead weight now and do what you gotta do...

Kera

If you think the relationship is on the brink or even if you have thought about not being with her just forget about her.there are MANY fish in the sea. Besides whats more important,a gf or your Dreams!

swat4

Do what your mind tells you.... don't make the same mistake over and over...you can decide what you can do with your life...I would like to be in the army too, but I am not sure about it many people have told me that I could die if they send me to war but I think I can handle it...

morgan j

You don't want to let her determine your life anyway. She's a control freak (probably) and you aren't happy now. What makes you think marriage will make her any better?

Ditch her now, join the service and hold out for a better woman. Believe me, there are much better women out there so don't settle.

navywife

My hubby and i are navy. whatever the branch the military will put stress on a marriage. in the last 3 years i have seen couples grow together and grow apart, mostly apart. I was not thrilled when my husband told me he wanted to join. it took me a long time to come around. i needed to learn more about what my life was going to change into. now, several years and 3 LONG deployments later, we are a lot better of a couple. we are happier and stronger. you need take sometime and evaluate your relationship first, then go from there. If she loves you, she should support you, and vice versa!

Chris

If she is saying that now, she will leave you sooner or later. It is better before you are married then after when she gets half your stuff.

Paul B

Yea, got it. If she stops you from doing something that you want now what will stop her from threatening on the next thing that she wants or doesn't want i.e. getting a new mustang rather than a mini van. Look if you have communicated with her that this is something that you really want to do and she says no then cut sling load and move on. Whatever you do don't marry someone who doesn't support your career in the military 100%. Things are way too stressful without having trouble on the homefront. Good Luck.

Snafu2294

I really hate to say this, but ditch the b*tch. If she won't support you on a great decision like that, you'll never get along.

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