Is it OK that my husband is e-mailing his ex?

JENNLUPE

No it is not alright! If they broke up he does not need to be their buddies! I would be upset if my husband was chatting back and forth with any exes he may have and he would blow a gasket if I spoke to mine. They are exes for a reason. Keep them in the past! I would tell him to stop right now or it's over! It's about trust and how can you trust him if he is chummy with the ex's.

mr conservative

Having served overseas I know that you enjoy getting as much mail from home as possible. You need to understand how much those guys need news from home. Most men write several women when overseas but the is usually only one that has their heart. Try and give him the benefit of the doubt and remember your lack of trust can do more damage than his writing e mails to the women can do. Your going behind his back and checking what he has done is wrong. Have more faith in your value and look with a positive view on the future.

Peace Frog

If he isnt hiding it from you, it seems you have no reason to worry. My husband is still friends with his ex-wife and although I'd like to rip her heart out with an ice cream scoop, he is entitled to be friends with whoever he wishes.

Lirrain

It's not OK on my planet.

mimi

Well he is probably writing not only to his ex-girlfriend but to other women too if he is on MySpace. Many military married guys are writing to me on Myspace. You shouldn't be angry to him. We just write every day stuff not love.

Sine Pari

Why do you think this is a military question? Think you better post it in "Family & Relationships". And if you want divorce wait at least till he gets home.

Circlometryâ„¢

umm, a bit headstrong arent u?

Jon and Nichole

well is there a reason he is talkign to his ex, is there kids invovled but stil i dont agree with him talking to his ex espically through email. i wouldnt get a divorce you just need to talk about it and find out why he is doing it, ask him to stop if there is no reason for him to be talking to her, unless they are friends but then u should be a part of that not just him

dirtmerchant_12b

Do you trust him? My parents are divorced, and my mom and dad talk all the time. My parents and step parents all are friends. And no, they're not swingers, just friends. What's wrong with being friends with your ex? It doesn't have to be nothing but hard feelings. Obviously she's an ex for a reason, maybe they just weren't compatible as friends. I wouldn't go get a divorce over it, unless you truly suspect he's cheating on you. Then you want to find out for sure.

let me think

While there has been some good advice given to you, some have failed to understand that you and your husband have the kids...not the EXES. It's hard being away from your husband. The divorce thing tells me that you have other issues besides trust. The fact that he changes his password should tell you that 1. he doesn't like being snooped on 2. he is DEFINITELY hiding something from you BUT it doesn't imply that he is cheating...I know you feel betrayed and stressed, afterall, you are taking care of the kids...B4 you do something stupid and live to regret it..."talk" to him about the problems in your marriage...and for your sake, find something to entertain yourself...take time out for yourself

noname

I don't think it's normal.

Ricky T

YOu should read the email and see if they are just being friends or whether it is more than that.

If it is more than that, then you should leave him.

If you can't read his email, then you should become friends with his ex so that you'll know whats going on.

groomingdiva_pgh

Divorce is a bit premature but no married person should be corresponding with an ex unless they have children and are communicating about them. True they cant be having a physical affair but sounds like there could be trouble. Ask him about it. Communication is the main thing that makes a marriage work.

Boss

i wouldn't trust him

my1215boo

Did you seriously just jump from talking to an ex to divorce???
wow quite a jump. I think all this depends on content and his intentions, you don't really explain here. If it is appropriate conversation, then the simple fact is your husband is not property and should be able to talk to whom he chooses. If he is dirty talking.. and its a behavior that has actually been discussed and worked through before..well that's a bit more difficult.

fr_chuck

Unless he is checking on children he has with her, he has no business emailing her.

kathnjerry

I dont consider it normal to be emailing your ex or I wouldnt consider it wrong. i would talk to him again about this situation and if it does bother you confront him and tell him that you dont like him doing it. If he loves you enough.. he should stop. I know if I was in your shoes I wouldnt like my husband having anything to do with his ex. I would not take the step on getting a divorce he is just emailing not screwing. Best thing to do is confront and talk about your feelings but dont come out and say it so harsh be calm about it.

poison

Nothing going on here. Go back to sleep!

tkron31

Depends on the subject. If he's discussing child support, it's probably okay. If he's cheating, get him to level with you about why he divorced his ex in the first place.

judith r

he is talking to her, not screwing her! you should grow up an let him have friends besides you, is what you should do. Just because he is talking to someone else is no reason to get a divorce. I think you have a lot of growing up to do before he comes home. best start soon, or he will be divorcing you and sending you back home to your mommy where you belong.

Mr Ed

If he's not hiding it from you should be no problem.

My now ex-fiance was in Iraq. You should probably talk to him. It's not going to get better for either one of you if you wait until he comes home. One reason that he might be talking to her is that he doesn't want to worry you about what's going on over there.

queenbee

Well as long as he is honest with then leave it alone....He can be friends that isnt hurting no one...But if he is all of the sudden trying to talk to all his ex's then no that is not normal.......But divorce is a little too much, if u dont feel comfortable with it then why dont you ask him not to email them no more.........

longhair140

Careful,...invasion of privacy can be a touchy subject, even between spouses, when mileage is concerned. Listen, people who are in the zone reach out for contact. Just make sure that contact with you becomes, and stay, his fave. Do a daily double, or more.Don't jump the gun on any other action.

naturemage_01

actually, i am married to some one in the military also, and even tho it doesnt mean n e thing... he still shouldnt have n e right talking to n e ex's... ask ur self how would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot.... plus by the way.... what does he talk to them about that he cant come to u?! Its not right either way u go, unless hes fine with u doing it. then it should be mutual trust. if hes not ok with u doing it then he knows he shouldnt be doing it...

Mrs. Brown

IF he is currently deployed wait until he gets back talk to him let him know it is bothering you. If it doesn't stop then i would leave him.

KatVic

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