Issues with Dating an Army Guy?

mccarthy410

Nothing wrong with dating a servicemember from any service. You just have to remember the fact that the service will always come first so long as he is in, active duty, reserves, national guard etc.

You also must remember the fact he can be called away to go at anytime to go anywhere for any length of time and possibly may not come back.

Being wounded to the point of having no arms and legs is a possibility, heaven forbid that happens to him, but he knows that grave wounding and/or death are possibilites of serving and unfortunately goes with the territory.

If you are strong enough to deal with all this, then by all means be with him and love him. If you can't, then you have some decisions to make and it may be for the best for all involved to break it off.

I'm sorry this sounds harsh, but having seen family members and friends go through this and being raised in a military household growing up has taught me many things.

C2ASH

LOL...my grandfather was a marine in WWII and was probably one of the most respectable people I have ever know...He was DEFINITELY not a nut case!

7 of 9

SGM usually do not deploy unless the entire BN deploys togther like the 82ND, they my go on a mission to inspect the moral of the troops snd see if they are doing their job, but if the entire BN does not deployu, they stay stateside. When they stay stateside SGM usually work late hours, so as for cheating, I don;t know when he will have time to do that, let alone, date you. ex-military, six years reserves, ten years active duty.

U_Dont_Know_Me

Okay "he'll cheat, they all do it" They are just like civilian guys. They just have more of an opportunity. But that doesn't mean they are ALL like that. And you know what, alot of wives back at home are cheating on their soldiers. Does that mean you're gonna cheat?

Okay there have been cases of people killing their spouses or whatever. But the statistics are pretty low. The military takes care of their post traumatic stress syndrom issues. If you love him you will stand by him no matter what, if he goes back and gets his arms and legs blown off, well lets hope that doesn't happen. But you support your man regardless. Its not an easy life, but if you love him it shouldn't really matter.

mrmashedpotatobrain

They sound like a load of stupid comments to be honest.
If he is someone you get along with then go for it. I guess the only question is when his next deployment will be.

Not all soldiers sleep around.

Green eyed Tlingit

first of all hun you are an adult and you dont need an approval of all these people. and unless they have first hand knowledge of such things happening with the guy you are talkin of, then its just plain bs. You cannot label all soldiers for what a few have done. and I'm pretty sure if he's made that rank, by now he woulda flagged crazy guy if he had such tendency's. and for your information, its usually the wives that do the cheating while they are deployed. and i truly feel sorry for you if these are the types of people you surround yourself with.

Captain Awesome

I always warn my female friends about dating military guys. Especially Marines! I see more of them treat women like crap than I do treat them like queens. The military is a lot different than it used to be. I'm almost glad I blew out my knees or else I might be in the military right now.

Michelle W

You said you're happy; isn't that what matters most? He's a Sergeant Major for crying out loud, you don't get to that rank by being a complete screw up.
Ever notice it's the quiet neighbor that ends up being the murderer? How often do you see a news story that says 'Serial killer caught, was serving in the military'? You don't see stories like that. I'm not saying it can't happen, I'm just saying I've never seen it.
War changes people. It makes some grow up, and others do have serious issues after coming back. It depends on so many factors that it isn't fair to our men and women to be stereo-typed based on a few.
The biggest factor in this situation shouldn't be what your friends are telling you, but how you feel. If they're really your friends then you can go to them and tell them how it makes you feel when they say stuff like that and ask them to support your decision. Any true friend could do that.

Ghost

If its coming from people that are in his unit than I wouldn't listen to them. Cause if they don't like his leadership style they will talk. The things they say they might think they are true but really you have no idea. I would only listen to people that personally know the guy. Or have hardcore proof of whatever. But its always good to watch out and be cautious.

oldschool04chick

Wow...all I can say is if its what you want to do, then go for it. It takes work, but thats not to say it can't be done. Just reassure everyone that you know about the possibilities of what can happen. It takes strength to be w/anyone in the military.

dnnsan@sbcglobal.net

I come from a military family. Most of the time it is the spouse cheating on their man or women that is in the military. I say it will be a great experience if you to do hook up. If this is who you are feeling do not listen to anyone. You can be with someone and they are not in the military and the get have some type of tragic accident and lose a body part. When you are with someone you are with no matter what. That is real love.

Helenâ™¥Chris

I can understand where they're coming from in a way. A lot of people end up with serious aggression problems when they leave the army, my ex was in the army before we met and he had serious aggression problems, in facyt he was a complete psycho.
My best friend went out with a guy who was in the army for 5 years. I would never ever recommend it. The first 4 years they were together they probably spent a total of 3-4 months together because he was always away and only back for a weekend at a time (occasionally, not every weekend) and then his 2 week holifday in summer. He went to Iraq and she went for 3 months without even hearing from him, it ruined her emotionally. They split up a year ago and she's still an emotional wreck. Before she met him she was such a happy girl, all that has changed because of him being in the army. Anyway they had a mortgage and everything together, then when he lkeft the army (after they'd been together just over 4 years) and of course everything went wrong. They weren't used to living together and argued constantly, he got violent (an after effect of his experiences in the army), he then slept with one of his (male) friends (i'm guessing he was getting up to all sorts in the army away with all these other men all the time), and in the end they split up, had to sell the house, and basically has ruined my best friends life and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. If only she'd listened to us when they first started dating. I hate him for what he did to my beautiful, happy best friend.

MRF

Just don't break his heart, OK?

"Most soldiers that killed themselves were young and male, according to the report, with failed personal relationships cited as the number one cause. Most soldiers that committed suicide did so at their home stations and not overseas."

Bren J

I'm sorry.
My family/friends would never say things like that. I'm sorry that some people have to put up with that crap.

Radicalism :o

Its truelly up to you, dont worry about other people, he could but coul not be like those generalisations

arbitrary k

He maybe be suffering from PTSD (Posttraumatic stress order) and therefore can be quite unstable mentally and therefore physically.

TRUTH

Well my friend .Really we are warning you from danger.All women love army navy guy including me but I realize that they are the worst thing you can choose from and you know exactly why/They travel a lot they are never there.You know if they cheat living with you under the same roof imagine all they can do when they are away.Avoid a disease honey see reality.You are putting yourself in great danger and its not worth it.Dear get out from the top gun drama.Be safe .be careful think of your health.You know men lieee and they dont care who they destroy the life.take care of yours CAREFULLLLLLLLL

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