MILITARY WIVES OR SERVICE MEN HELP!!!?

joy_gone_wild

It is true that some cheat, but those that cheat would have cheated weather they were away for a long time or not. The only difference that being deployed will make on his cheating, is he may have more opportunity to hide it, but eventually it will eat away at him, and you will know deep down if he is being faithfully or not.
I have been in the Army 7 years now, and I have deployed two times (one year each time) and I have actually seen many more wives stray than the guys who are deployed. Deployment is rough, but it makes strong relationships stronger, and week ones will fall apart.

mazell41

Excellent answer from Boo. She is absolutely right. If he's gonna cheat, he will. Same with you. It happens all the time. I was married to an A.F. man for 20 yrs. & he often had to go T.D.Y. for 4 -6 mo. at a time, plus he had 2 P.C.S. remote assignments which meant I had to stay home. There are a lot of military wives. Not all of them get cheated on. If you truly love your man, you'll trust him. Love & trust go together you know. Do not listen to all the trouble makers who'd like to bring your spirits down under the guise of teasing. They're just jealous. Trust him. E-mail or write him as often as you can. Call him from time to time if possible but keep the news pleasant. Guys really like to get written letters because they can keep them & read them over & over. Good luck dear.

7 of 9

If he hasn;t in the past, he won;t now, for instance, my husband has never cheated on me in the military so when he retired and took a job that requires him to be gone mon-fri. i was not concerned about whether he would be faithful or not. just my thoughts

inkeddoc

Hello Hon, I am a service member and an army wife. You will always worry but with him joining the army you will be separated a lot. This deployment was our first one apart and it has put a strain on our marriage but we survived. I know you two will survive. I know it easy to say not to worry but I know you will. TRUST is a big thing for being a Military Spouse. There is a lot of people that do cheat but not everyone. If you need anything shoot me a note and I will help you out the best I can.

Sarge

You should be married first. He will recieve additional money if he is married or has dependants.

TRUST... TRUST... TRUST... is the only thing that will get you thru this. If he is going to cheat, he will cheat wheter he is in the military or not. If you can't trust him, maybe you should not get married. There a more military service members that do not cheat on their spouse or significant other than do...
Good Luck!

Yes, there are spouses that cheat. But there are many more that do not. Do not start thinking this way. An army marriage is hard enough. If you add in doubt and mistrust from the very beginning, you might as well not even get married. If he isn't a cheater, don't treat him like one.

Peter B

the military will provide little means for cheating. overseas (especially in the desert), there's not exactly brothels everywhere, and while there are women in the military, it's pretty similar to having him on home soil with women around. military men/women have much more to be afraid of, as they're usually away on the job, and even if they suspect their spouse is cheating, they're helpless to do anything about it. (also, there's that feeling that you're the inconvenience, since you're leaving and not your spouse, and they may cheat out of vindication.)

in the end, it will be his personality that governs wether or not he cheats, and you should worry more about supporting each other when things get tough.

GeorgiaDawgs

Well that is really between you two to be honest, when i was in basic there was no chance in hell because there are no women in the infantry but Sam Houston is a little different then all of that, he wont have the time or the place to do anything in basic so i wouldn't worry about that! When he hits AIT they get a lot more freedom and have time to go out, Infantry....nothing! A good group of medical friends that i have said they had a lot of fun but most of them didn't get involved with the girls out there, said there girlfriend was better! So take a deep breath and just be calm write him a letter when you can and try to keep yourself busy all the time, my wife did that to get thru all of it! We have made it thru 3 deployments going to 4 soon, hope to have a change in scenery to Afghan.

smm

my ex boyfriend admitted to me while he was on deployment, he went to Australia and went to a brothel. and apparently his entire platoon went. so it really depends on your fiance and the trust in your relationship.

Julie M

I'm with Boo. what about military women? don't we have pretty good insight, since we WORK with these guys?

first off, if you are worried he should cheat you shouldn't be marrying this guy. but you didn't ask for marital advice.

go to counseling. it's free when he's in and it should help you two come to terms with why this is such a big fear of yours.

Nyki Marie

This is a perfectly normal fear; I have it too! Just be patient, and perhaps tell him that your worried? He'll reassure you that everything will be alright, because it will =) Seriously! Just keep in contact; letters, phone calls, e-mails, and don't ever give up! Tell him that you don't want to keep anything from him, so if an incident occurs with you, you'll tell him about it and you'd like it vice versa!

Keep it up, and you've lasted this long!

Good luck dearie =)

army mom

Don't worry. In basic training, they are pretty much confined on base and will not be able to leave. When do you plan on getting married? After basic training get married and you will be able to go on housing with him.
Don't freak out if you don't hear from him while in basic training, as a army mom, I was sick to my stomach when I didn't hear from my son. One may screw up and they all get punished for it and no calls allowed. There was a time I didn't hear from my son for 2 weeks, I'm sure you will be going through that and thinking the worst. please don't worry, he will not be cheating on you, he wouldn't have time nor any access to other women. Hope this made you feel a little at ease. Good luck my dear.

Candi

Speaking as an army wife,its kind of hard sometimes to not have those thoughts(trust me ive been there),but honestly you have to learn to get over it! My husband is currently in Iraq,is it possible that he may cheat? Yes,but theres really nothing i can do about it at this point,i mean im sure he wont but even if he did theres nothing i can do....So i do my best to avoid those thoughts...If i dont it will eventually lead to arguments,and those arguments could lead to the end of the marriage...NOW consider this.....you have these thoughts....do you honestly believe he wont have the same thoughts about you? I think sometimes we think of how we feel,and forget that they will be going through the exact same thing! Honestly,the army isnt going to "make" him cheat....if he cheats while gone,he probably wouldve done it even in the civilian world

Daniel R

First, a wedding date would be a great help.
Secondly, I'm assuming he will be going active duty.
He will not have an opportunity to cheat while in basic training. Trust me - just about every second of the day is accounted for already.
If you really want to feel secure with him, why not get married after basic but before he ships to his permanent duty station? Otherwise, he will be going alone and desperate after weeks and weeks of time without you.
If that isn't possible, just trust him to do whats best for your relationship. If he makes a mistake, let him learn. You will be in the same situation - long periods of loneliness with temptation rearing its ugly head.
Stay strong. Best of luck to you.

Thomas

well, lady if you feel that insecure about him, so why marry a guy that you don't trust? if he trust you being at home while he gone for training, at lease you should do the same.

heather s

It sounds like you need some relationship counseling. You obviously have trust issues, and if he dumps you, it'll be because you don't trust him. I'd definitely recommend going together to premarital counseling, or you guys are headed for a rough road.

Boo

What about women who served? Why don't you want to hear from us? If a man is going to cheat, he will cheat whether he's TDY or at home. I've seen them both far too many times in the military and civilian world. You have to trust in him. After all, what's to say you won't cheat on him when he's gone. Relationships are built on trust and if he says he won't cheat, you have to believe him, as he has to believe in you. As a side warning to both of you. Should either of you ever cheat, keep it yourselves. Confessions of these kind only lead to divorce.

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