Marine brother needs Medic and Psychiatric help?

some background: my brother has always had anger issues. being deployed to iraq has made him angrier. and he will deploy to afghanistan soon. which makes me worry that he will become angrier.

ok, my brother might have broken a couple fingers when he punched a wall after having a fight w his gf. she told him he should see a psychiatrist on base and i think he should too-w his anger issues

the problem is that he is a Marine and he didnt tell the recruiters both hands were previously broken. i didnt know this till now after i asked if he were gonna see a medic about his hands

he said he wont tell them because he will be "f*cked"--military jail and i think a possible dishonorable discharge

what i was wanting to do (before i found all this out) was to call his commanding officer to have them look at him for his anger issues cuz my brother wont ever volunteer himself to be looked at.

idk what to do. he wont see a medic and i dont think i can call his commanding officer about getting him looked at for his anger issues cuz they'll find out about his fingers and then his hands

i dont want him going to jail.

but im worried afghanistan will make him angrier and after his years are up he wants to be a police officer. which will make him even more angrier. i dont want to see my brother on the news for police brutality, etc.

please help me decide what to do. i cant leave everything as is. he said he wont let anyone find out about his fingers when training but they might be broken

please help me, help my brother
Additional Details
i dont believe it is a stretch. before the marines he was verbally abusive to our mom. when i was younger he would physically hit me (im 19, female). he was hit by two IEDs in Iraq and claims iraq made him angrier. he pushed his gf a few weeks ago. my mom claims he gets angry because she (the gf) would insult him by calling him names. when a police officer he will be called much worse so i fear his actions would be worse. afghanistan will make even angrier. and this one incident w punching the wall isnt the first time hes done it. before the marines he punched many holes into his door.

youre right about jumping to his co though, i have to follow the chain of command. i have yet to decide to do that though.

ill wait it out and i jus recommended for him him to go to a VA hospital and he said hell try (its off the record correct?). im not sure if there is one near him though

Robert R

Well as a vet my first question is what is he angry about. He might not need any help. I can understand if he is pissed off about the current situation in our country hell I am pissed also. Coming from a combat zone sometimes is not easy. The best thing would be to ask him what he is upset about if you donâ€™t know already. I would not just go talk to his commander just yet. You could actually do more harm than good especially if you do this and he did not need it. If itâ€™s simply aggression problems then you should persuade him to go talk to a doc. But have him go, donâ€™t just turn him in where they might end up tossing him out.

Now when these IED that you said hit him did he lose any of his friends that might be were the anger is coming from. A similar thing happened to me; I was the only one to survive when our hummer was hit by one. A week later I was on patrol and a little girl got blown up by one too just a few meters away from me. That was not the only things I went thru but you get the idea. Trust me I was very angry for a while, I could not even talk about it to anybody either. It took me a few years to even be able to mention my pain to anybody I knew. I understand that your worried but these are things people like us need to work out ourselves most of the time. You could try talking to him offer to hear him out no matter what bothering him. If he tells you keep it to yourself no matter how bad you think it may be. It could be a loss of a friend; it could be guilt for taking a life, it can simply be all the terrible things he experienced, but no matter what stand next to him. Now donâ€™t push him either do not try to make him tell you. Simply say something along the lines of,â€ hey bro I know something bothering your or on your mind, if you need somebody to talk to in confidence I am here for you no matter what it is. Sometimes talking makes thing a little easier to deal with but as your sister you should know that I am here for you.â€ Something like that, he might not tell you anything but he just might. It simply could be the release he needed and has not been able to talk about.

Other things that worked for me was I had a professor that gave me a notebook and told me I know you have a lot on your mind but I understand that you might not want to talk to anybody about it but why donâ€™t you write it to yourself or somebody else if you want. You donâ€™t actually have to give it to anybody but if one day you decide that you do well you got it all written down. This was what helped me to start talking about it. In the end I actually started writing about my experiences and even shared him with my class. Trust me it was not easy at first but once I started I could not stop. In the end my anger was gone. Now I am not saying that this will work for you and your brother but itâ€™s what worked for me. Time is really the only cure but talking about it is a good way to release. I wish you and him well I hope he sorts things out.

MASTERGRUNT

Hey as a combat grunt have your brother go to the VA and talk to the docs there, or call MILITARY 1 source. he can talk to docs and it WILL NOT go on his records, or be reported to his command. they are a great assets and help all bracnhes. they are very supportive and will deal with your brother with respect. they deal with these types of isses alot and have a person on the 24/7 for help.

www.militaryonesource.com

HisRideOrDie

Wow, you have a lot on your shoulders. In my opinion, the right thing to do would be to let his commanding officer know. He cant keep going on with so much anger inside. He needs to get help. I totally understand where your conflict arises, as he's your brother and you don't want to upset him, but in the end I think he'll be grateful you helped him after all you just might end up saving his life.

0621 Cpl Type

That's a very tough situation. Although, I will tell you from experience breaking your finger will get you in more trouble if you don't get it looked at. No, he will not go to the brig for having not having disclosed that information prior, but his physical health is really up to him. You can give him advice on that one, but you really can't do anything about it.

As far as the anger issue is concerned, ask yourself if you feel like he may be a threat to someone he loves. If the answer is yes, then maybe it is time to act, otherwise, you may end up just getting your brother into needless trouble. Obviously, I don't know how angry he is, I'd have to see an example, but jumping from he's angry to deployment will make him angrier and police brutality is in the near future is a bit of a stretch. You need to sit down and talk to him about his what he's feeling and get your parents involved. Marines don't like it but councoling is a good option in a situation like this where PTSD may have some play in the situation. Just exort you brother to get help and if he doesn't want to do it, you may have to wait for the something to happen that forces his chain of command to step in. Also, do not call his CO. If you have that much of a concern, I don't know his rank...if he's a Sgt or below contact his Plt Sgt with your concerns, if he is the Plt Sgt contact his SNCOOIC. If you do it out of order though you could seriously hurt your brothers chances of getting promoted and hurt him in the long run.

Remember though, in the end the only one who can truely help your brother is your brother and it may hurt you to watch him hurt himself, but you can't change anyone but yourself. Good luck. Semper Fi

amemahoney

He can go to the VA to have his fingers looked at. If anyone were to ask about previous breaks, he doesn't have to reveal any information. Hell, my foot was broken for 2 weeks before I knew I even broke it - it wasn't until the bone almost popped up out of the top that I went to the doc.

He will need lots of psyc help, though.

Steven J

Keep trying to get your brother help. We do not need another Timothy McVeigh.

Marine5

Sure sounds like he has Acute PTSD and
Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) from the IEDS...
and needs to be checked asap...
Probably has severe Head aches etc...

I wouldn't mention anything about his
Pre enlistment history as he won't get
any help at all...

PS: It is not Anger...It is RAGE !!!

Unforgiven

don't worry, as a soldier myself with previous anger issues, I ran into a coupel of NCO's that got on my nerves and the anger will eventually come out and he will get mad at them, liek I did and he will have to get help or they will make him get anger management, just hope that he is not able to curtail his anger and take his anger form an NCO, out on his girl all the time, that over time he will just get tired of the NCO and the NCO will see tey are having a perosnality conflict and make him get some help or make him get a Psych eval. like they made me. My husband also had anger isssues, he was forced to get help, the funny thing is when he was told to go to theraphy, he would kid the psychotrist and tell them he was an axe murder-LOL we all handel our anger and the help we are forced to get in differnat ways,b ut you can;t hide it forever, not in the military.

Doggzilla

He will not see a doctor as long as you try to get him to. If there is one thing you have to stop doing, its telling him that. Its insulting as you can get.
He is probably angry because he joined to do something he could have pride in and instead he has people treating him like hes done something wrong.
When he gets angry, dont tell him to fix the problem, learn to calm him down without openly saying he needs to calm down.
If he blows up, dont try and argue, to calm him down agree with him. If he is used to you trying to give excuses, regardless of if you were right, if he doesnt think youll take what he is saying into consideration, he will automatically go into anger mode.
If he feels that youll understand before you offer excuses or second opinions, he will not automatically get angy.

People treat military members like crap, especially Marines, and it just builds up on top of anything else that the person already had.
Treating him like this isnt going to help, how would you like it if people constantly pointed out your flaws and told you that you had an anger issue?
He is a Marine, he has overcome extreme difficulties and deals with very difficult people on a daily basis, he will deal with his problems, so dont hold them out in front of his face because its incredibly insulting.

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