Mhy partner is thinking of joining the army. We have 2 young children.?

Helicreature

Yes there is lots of moving about involved! If he takes this course of acton you are all in for quite alot of separation. Firstly you will have to get married. You can't go on accompanied Tours as his girlfriend. After basic training (during which you can't live with him) he will be posted to a base which could be anywhere, it depends which Regiment or Corps he joins. When he has a posting order you can apply for MQ (married quarters) and you will be allocated housing on or off base. Housing is assigned according to rank and it varies widely. He will then be posted every two or three years and in between time he will undoubtedly be deployed (Iraq, Afghanistan...) and have to go on exercise. You could end up living anywhere in the Uk and in alot of places in the World. Your children will therefore have to change schools every two years. Officers are subsidised to put their childen into UK boarding schools for continuity of education but other ranks aren't. Some places have their own British Forces schools but in others the children simply go to the local civilian schools.
It's a very tough life. You have little opportunity to put roots down although if he joins a Regiment, you do all tend to move together which at least means you move with the same people. Army families are effectively 'camp followers'. Some women love the life. The Army becomes their World but others hate it, and the separations can put serious strains on some marriages. You quickly learn to operate like a single parent family for much of the time. If I were you I would have as many conversations with Army wives as you can (there are some websites specifically for us) which will give you a bigger and clearer picture. Good luck!

Manderz

It may be tough at first... because he has to go to bootcamp and then schooling for his job. When he does get stationed and you are able to live together... you might be there for four years... or depending on his job you may have to move alot.. or he may be deployed. It really depends on his job and the post or base where you will be stationed..

They usually have many programs or help groups for children.. or services to help with children

Elf Ish

As far as I am aware (my bf wants to join the army too) you do a year at training camp, where wives and familes are stationed with them, so you'd have to move there. Then they do six to eighteen months in combat, so you'd be in the UK alone while he was off in iraq or wherever. They get leave during that, but not much. Then he'd get whatever job he wanted for the next year or two, so you'd have to move to that location. After that I'm not sure, and I have to admit I'm very vague on it all cos thats just what he told me. Good luck!

CLIVE H

Normally in the British Army a soldier is posted to a new location about every three (3) years, unless something else comes up which requires him and his regiment to crash move to somewhere fast.

For an Army wife it can be difficult. The kids will not be able to settle in one school for very long.

Your best bet is to contact an Army wives group if you can and ask them for advice.

The links below should prove useful : -

[PDF] Deployment Experiences of British Army Wives Before, During and AfterFile Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat - View as HTML
This paper presents results on support networks British Army wives used during the deployment .... These groups were then proportionally stratified by rank ...
http://www.ftp.rta.nato.int/public//PubFullText/RTO/MP/RTO-MP-HFM-134/MP-HFM-134-38.pdf

Yahoo! Groups : Directory : British ArmyDirectory : British Army. ... Browse Groups about British Army ... This is a great place for young army wives and girlfriends to chat and learn more about ...
http://www.uk.dir.groups.yahoo.com/.../By_Country_or_Region/Countries/United_Kingdom/Military/British_Army

oohbetty

I don't think moving about is an issue because you wouldn't move around with him as far as I know (I have friends in same situation). I do know when you are married you will be able to live in "married quarters" on the base he is stationed at (in a house) but expect long periods of absence when he goes on exercise to various countries. I hope it works out.

dark_angel286473

The benefits are good, but it does put terrible tests on your relationship. Just be ready for them and don't be afraid to seek help in the resources the military provides if you need it. With small children, you probably will.

juvenille2001

Even thought he is not thinking the same way you are thinking, I believe if he doesn't have any other source of education I believe that the military is the best think he could do. I mean there are millions of people with no education, and no education opportunity other than that of the military. Just focus on what he could accomplish for you, and your children by going to the military. By going to the military he will have a safe future for you, and his children. Right now he is probably working in a average job in which that is not enough for him, but after he complete the army training he will get more. Just study the situation in see if things benefit your children.

Martyn J

Do you know which job he wants to do in the army, if so I can tell you more.

Dadefool14

Well the good thing about having a member in the military is that if you and your partner live on base that certain branch should help pay alot of the things. Also the family gets free health care and the houses are usually near schools and other things for the children. You may want to tell your partner though to look at the benefits because each branch offers diffrent things. From family members and me wanting to be a Pilot in The U.S. Air Force i know that the Air Force does have some of the best benefits and much more. Also your family gets discounts for being a military family. I suggest also that you guys should go the Army's website and see if they list payroll and benefits

zdoman4567

Let him join. Visit his base with your children regularly and try to let the children know your partner well. Your children will be proud of him.

Judah

It's a tough life, but the pay is good and you get free health care. If you live on or near a base, the base grocery store has excellent (meaning cheap) prices for food. There are Family Readiness Groups that you and your kids can get involved in (they do group activities) and events, classes and schools on base. Unfortunately, families typically move every 2-3 years, but the Army is working on changing that so families stay at one base longer. Every 2 years more or less, your husband will most likely be deployed for a year. If you are committed to each other through good times and bad, you will be fine. Army life can be great in some ways--take what you can get and make the most of it; don't be afraid to ask questions and explore the Soldier's Welcome Center at whatever base you end up. People are there to help you through this! (check out the MWR--morale, wellfare and recreation--website for your base) God bless!

284561

Get Insurance...Lots of it..

mary

It's not an easy life but it's well worth it if it's the best paying job he can find. Also the benefits are good as well. I was an army wife with 2 kids as well as active duty for 8 years. You may move alot, it really depends. We were in 2 places in 8 years, I have known people to be at 1 and people who moved every year. There really is no concrete anwser. As for the kids, living on post is always safe and you are surronded by other wives who know what yo are going through and you develop almost your own support group. Plus there are ALWAYS kids around for your 6 year old to play with. I would however recommend getting married before he joins. If you wait, his travel won't cover you to move and I know this because I was HR in the army. Also you or the kids won't have benefits. Plus if you get married 1st, he will get BAH while in triaining which is an extra $800-1300 a month depending on where YOU live. If you have any other questions, feel free to send me an e-mail. Like I said, I was HR and my husband was Infantry so I know how it is from MANY different angles. Good luck!

hottotrot

I'd like to answer from the kids point of view as everything else has pretty much been said.

I was born into the Army with my father being in an infantry regiment. We moved on avarage every 2 years. This lasted for the first 12 years of my life.

In that time my father was constantly away on exercise or doing tours of N. Irland. At one point he and his regiment were stationed in Belize for 6 months. So for half a year neither my brother, mother or I saw him.

In the way of friends, I had a few people that would always move to the same postings as us but not all the time. Therefore friends at a young age were never constant as you can imagine with the amount of moving (7 times in 12 years).

Also, we moved to Gibralter in 1985 where i was moved back into the 1st year of primary because that's how it worked. Then when we got back to Britain I moved up from 2nd year to 4th year. In affect missing a whole year of school.

The life of an Army brat is great and gives them an experience they could rarley get from civi life. However, the kids will miss out on their fathers company especialy with the way things are in todays world with 2 major conflicts keeping military personel away for 6 months at a time or 1 year if they're American (so I believe).

You both really need to think hard not just about how this will affect you but also your kids.

By the way get him to join the Air Force as the odds are better.

beth

I have been doing some research on all military branches, so far the best to join right now is the Air Force (thinking of joining myself). They have a variety of technical jobs, awsome health care benefits, and school opportunities.They also have the lowest death rate at 1%. This is a very serious decision and you guys should do an extensive research on the branch you are interested in, and remember recruiters lie!!!

...

Why did you put partner? Just put husband.

Mrsjvb

he can't even begin the process until he is married. as a single parent he is ineligible to enlist.

Rad

sounds extremely selfish to me-to leave your wife and children for weeks if not months on end, not to mention risking your life

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