My fiance cheated last year i jus found out an now he's in basic training should i write him or wait?

Brian

Take her word for it, why not.

You have no reason not to believe her.

Right now your just finding an excuse to get mad at your fiance because all in your mind right now is anger and anything we probably might say her won't matter because in reality you just want to choke the **** out of your fiance.

Listen the thing is that hes still with you now isn't he? If he liked that girl he would have left you already and obviously hes still with you.

That thing with the girl and him was just a ditch on his road to marriage and he overcame it and decided he still loved you.

The fact is he was faced with a temptation and he overcame it due to the fact he was in love with you and not her.

He loves you.

Right now he misses you a lot and most likely sheds tears every time he reads your letters...

Trust me... i went through the same s**hit.

The Rocker's Girl

use these two months to devise an amazing plan to make his butt suffer!

lalalala

it was a year ago.. apparently he loves you so chill.. just talk to him about it calmly freaking out can ruin a relationship.

fishy

thats not thing thing to put in a letter, save it for in person, or at least on the phone
but defenetley dont marry him till youve worked it out

Buck Ofama

wait another 2 months, You will be able to talk about it more logically then.

AntiObama:]

i think you should wait and then talk it out in person because your gnna have more tension and stuff over a piece of paper u no?

Meg

i would wait until you can talk with him about it face to face.

nicenightforfun

Wait for him to get out. Then back him into a corner

fisherman

idk writing is hard cause they might get the wrong tone of your writing so explaining emotions can be hard...dey might think ur talkin crap 2 dem or somtin else

mkstar214

Girlfriend, you should definitely get it over with. Write him a letter and get everything off of your chest then let him go and don't ever look back.

You know how everyone always says once a cheater always a cheater? That's because it's true. If someone cheats on you, then they don't really love you. It's hard to allow yourself to accept that, but you have to.

Get it over with now. It will be much easier to be strong and not allow him to sweet talk you into staying. As much as it hurts, you gotta believe that Mr. Right would not ever cheat on you or hurt you. You deserve much better and if you let him go you will open yourself up to the opportunity to find your true soul mate. He's out there waiting for you. Don't cheat yourself by sticking with this loser.

Good luck. It is hard, but it will get easier. I know right now you feel like he is the only man in the world, but trust me he's not. You deserve much, much better!!!

shapsai62

it's possible that this girl is just obsessive and slightly insane and your fiance doesnt truly feel that way...

but if not i would say wait at least a week to think about it and not say things in your letter you do not mean. after that decide what to do using the answers you'll get here
(if i were in your situation and as angry as you probably are i would write him immediately, but from an outside point of view you should wait a little bit and think it over)

Karl L

Wait till he comes back. Wait a month then bring up the issue. If he dies out there the last thing you want is to beat yourself up over the idea that somehow he died because he thought he would lose you.

Barack Hussein Obama Sr

basic does not last for ever, wait 'til he gets home

Fallen

woah yeah, save that for a meeting in person. and don't make it the VERY first thing you say lol. just tell him you need to talk to him and talk to him in private so that way he doesn't try to hold back because he is embarrassed of other people hearing.

I agree with the once a cheater, always a cheater phrase.

JerseyBricklayer

Don't let it eat you up. Once someone has cheated on you, they have made up their mind that they don't love you. They may say they do, but its a lie. People that Truly love each other wouldn't even think of cheating, because they are happy. I would just move on and not say anything and let it eat HIM up instead.

ProudMarinesWife

I don't think you should write him bout it. Those guys can get stressed out so easy and fail the basic training meaning start the whole thing over again. Wait until he finishes it, then explain how you found and tell him you want both of you guys to go to a marriage counciling and figure things from there. Those guys always turns out different after bootcamp. I wish you the best, goodluck!

heatherbean21

You should wait till you can talk to him in person about it. Cause there is probably going to be alot of details that you don't know.

AMY

dont let it get to you. i know thats really hard to do but you should wait to tell him so you can talk to him face to face. It would be much better even if you dont want to talk to him face to face. keep your self busy. Go out and meet new guys if you are for sure done with him but if you feel you want to talk to him and work it out and feel its worth staying together. If your gonna work it out together make him delete his myspace account and you could also send her another message from his myspace acting like him saying how he doesnt like her anymore.

cox.joshandnicole

You have to decide what you can tolorate. You can write him, tell him you want the truths, and that he has his 2 months to come up witha really good solution to resolve your differances, or you can say a year ago times were differant for you, OR, you can wait, talk it over with him face to face and see where it goes.

My husband and I just got through this almost same issue. I decided what happened a year before we got married was something I could get past, slowly.

*adorable*

i think you should relax and try 2 forget about it and when he comes tell him in person how you feel and see what he says...if all goes wrong just leave him

shjchica

Honestly, wait. If you still love him and care about him wait. Let him get through basic. The DS' will be kickin his *** enough. Let him do what he needs to do. It was a year ago, not like it was yesterday. Things happen. I'm sure the DS' is giving him enough trouble, probably telling him your doing someone else, so be patient. Don't confront him in a letter -- kind of childish. Confront him adult to adult and talk it out. Give him a chance.

Cee Eff

Write a letter to him with all of your feelings spelled out. Explain exactly what you found out and how it made you feel, then tell him what you want to know from him. Ask him where he thinks you two should go from here. Does he want to get married? Does he want to break up?

But don't mail it! Wait until you have had a few weeks to process the information and think further. You don't want to say something in the heat of the moment and regret it later. You can't back things like that, and you can't erase the words that you send him. If after a few weeks you are still feeling this way, send him a letter stating that you are aware of what happened and you expect an explanation and a conversation about what happens between you two from now on once he gets back from basic.

This way he will know that you are serious but won't be totally stressed while at basic, and you will be able to handle your feelings without jeopardizing the relationship further.

Cheating is bad, very bad, but he may have learned a lesson. He may have realized that you are the one he really wants to be with and has committed himself to you since this happened, but chose not to bring it up because he was afraid of damaging the relationship. Give him a chance to explain, and in the meantime, think about how you want the relationship to go.

LINDA W

Its amazing how hard it is to lie to a woman! OUr intuition is like another sense. I'm sorry you must just feel terrible - and you love him, and obviously he loves you. Do you think you can forgive him? I might take the time while he is away to examine how you feel. But personally I am not big on cheaters, they always seem to be repeat offenders. Even if you forgive him this time, I hope you are disciplilned enough to walk away if he does it once more. Only one mistake like that per relatinoship!

putmeinyourpocket1

WAIT! you dont want him to lose his marbles and commit suicide....

Maximus

talk to him over the fone?
or u can bang me and it can be even, you seem hot from ur cartoon thing.

Bad sign. Huge red flag.
Do you want to live the rest of your days wondering if he's cheating and lieing? Good marriages are difficult enough with all the temptations out there.

You would be doing yourself a HUGE favor to just move on right now. No matter what he says at this point, you can't trust him because he lied. If he hasn't had enough guilty consience to tell you by now, he has learned it's okay to lie and will no doubt do it again when things in your marriage become difficult, and all marriages do.

Forget the "poor guys at war" crap. Stop enabling guys just because they're enlisted. He is big enough to enlist, he's big enough to be responsible for his comittment to be faithful. He wasn't at war or under any pressure when he cheated. Jeez, give me a break!

bbbbbbb

go for it

carrie

Say something

killjoyzero

You hacked his MySpace? That's kinda messed up, but anyway...

You seem pretty set on breaking up with him, sure, he's in basic, but what's the point of waiting if it's never going to get any better?! It may seem kind of harm, but in the end, you'll both be happier knowing that this didn't get dragged out! Just do it now, though for your own sake, I would leave out the part where you hacked his myspace.

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