My husband is messing around on me in Iraq..should I find someone else?or should I respect him?

Ms.WDavis

He's not respecting you, why should you respect him? Find someone whos guna treat you the way you deserve to be treated! Get you some hard evidence to prove your case, and get youself a good lawyer! Anyone who disagrees or says otherwise...more than likely cheats on their significant other as well! But whatever you do, don't cheat on him in retaliation..."an eye for an eye would make this world blind!" --Gandi

Brian K

And how do you know this?
It seems to me that it would be very difficult to know with any reliability that he is messing around on you half a world away. You're not justifying anything, are you?
That said, if you KNOW for a FACT that he is messing around on you, you owe him nothing, whether he is serving his country or not. Your choice what to do from that point.

april

I personally would move on. There were a few guys (4 total) from the same section who deployed with my husband during this last tour that were sleeping with their nasty @ss female interpreter and brought their wives home a lovely case of the worst kind of herpes known to exist. All four are now divorced and the Soldiers and their poor wives were humiliated after it became known. What stupid choices people make sometimes! I wouldn't put up with that crap. Pack it up and move on; you deserve better than someone who's going to betray your trust in the worst way.

mrsbratt

Morally, you should not move on until you are divorced. You are still married. Two wrongs don't make a right, but you do what you gotta do.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Xicanista

Always treat others as you wish to be treated. Be respectful. If you know for a fact he is cheating, than maybe you should get a good divorce lawyer for when he gets back...BUT you also might want to consider the fact that many men come back from war with strange habits that develop out of necessities to cope with high stress.
HOWEVER, that is no excuse, and if he is cheating on you, when his *** comes home, you don't want to allow him to squeak by with emotionally damaged excuses. As much suffering as he has done, this is a separate incident, and he should not disrespect you. So...when he comes home, kick him out and give him the freeze. If he is repenting, and you are accepting, he'll do all he can to earn your respect and love back.

josie q

you should go See the base Chaplin.

I would wait until he came home ... see whats really going on , possibly go to marriage counseling and then decide.

as long as you do what you are supposed to as a wife you will have nothing to worry about,
what would you do if he came home and he was not messing around?
don't let rumors ruin your marriage!

try to work it out and if it don't work out at least you can say you tried .

Good Luck ..... its a long road but keep your head up, this to shall pass.

CoffeeCupDobie

Ok how do you know he is messing around? If he is I am sorry. My Ex-husband was in the Marines and when he was also over seas he cheated on me. I did not cheat on him though. I understood, sadly that I made my vows and I was not going to break them. He may have. But I wasnt going to.
I loved him and it broke my heart to know that he did cheat on me. I of course told him I knew. I also told him that it better not happen again. I talked to him lots, and we made it for awhile. It wasnt because of that incident, and he eventually asked me for a divorce. I reluctantly sad yes.
But I never broke MY vows. (he paid dearly for breaking his I got a wonderful diamond set).
You need to figure out if your VOWs mean something to you. If they do tell him. Let him know that it hurts you that he cheated. That you and him need to get some counceling when he gets home.
Just tell him how you feel and talk first before you just give up ok. I am not condoning what he has done. He is in the wrong. (it is also stressful over there Still not an excuse).
talk to him.

cndtroops1

No he is suppossed to be your husband, move on, will things ever be the same when he comes back now that you know what he has done.

girlfriends

You should do what you would do if he was at home and messing around on you.

Confront him and go from there.

sorry i couldn't be more help.

take care

starbrite.

How do you know he's messing around.Better have facts and not what some one said..

bigmac

How in the world do you know that?????

He probably has a lot more on his mind about staying alive, than you could possibly imagine.
Your job is to be a good wife and wait for him. What he is going through is worse than you know.
Write to him. Send him packages. Love him. Wait for him.

meaner

How would you know unless he told you? If you do know leave if that is what you want. Do what you would do if he was here.

But it sure looks like you may just be another troll. That is my guess. What else would bring you here to write about something so personal.

mjnell

I am curious, how do you know that unless he told you. If is because he is different when you talk to him, he is going through a lot. If he did tell you, he could get in a LOT of trouble because they are not allowed to be with someone over there. I wish you the best, but don't want to tell you want to do with out more information

Androway

How could he be messing around on you? Dudes are getting laid in Iraq?!! Are you being a little hasty in judgement?

how do you know this? if this is true i'm sorry. your the only one who can make this decision, i personally wouldn't put up with it.

l p

Well give him the benifit of the doubt and let him explain. But of all places in Iraq ,, those women must be brutal.

artemtb

Surprising to see a common scenario turned around. Let me tell you about his mindset and then you make the decision. Fat girls become very cute on deployments. Its kind of like the Cinderella story. Once they get back to the states that little pumpkin carriage disappears and no one has interest in them. Your husband probably met one of these Cinderellas and could be regretting it already. The decision is yours but do make sure you know 100% percent that he is cheating before making a decision because you're under plenty of stress your self due to his deployment and the mind plays tricks.

Danial J

Can you prove anything at all or is this just a hunch you have? If you don't know for sure I wouldn't risk it if I were you.

Personally I think you're just looking for and excuse to have an affair with someone else and that's a piss poor attitude.

Susie

um i dont know. thats a tuff question.
I mean he probably is going through some tuff stuff being in iraq. but oh i dont know. Sorry but thats a tough question.

maybe you should talk to someone close to you about this or a guideness counselor.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: