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My only son wants to join the Army?
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My only son wants to join the Army?

He's the only Son I have to carry on my name. I'm really kind of screwed up on this one. What if he goes to war and I lose him?
Tough decision to make. I would rather he do something else.
What does a Father do in a situation like this?


Bruce T
This is a time for a "man to man" talk. I counsel career pathes for young adults, many are "set" on military career. Convincingly, I am an "extremist" for "continuing education" if financially able and grades provide acceptance. You are on the "flip side" I typically advise. FIRST, during the day take a pad/pencil and write all your objections to military service. You must also write any/all "positives". As you meet with your son ask him why he wants to join. Write his responses and any remarks he may have. Discuss other possibilities, i.e., school, other military branches, apprenticeship programs in your area, etc.

Schedule a time to discuss a "future" with your son. Your goal, and reason for this, YOU are his dad, YOU raised him, YOU continue to support him, and YOU want to insure this is the correct "direction" at this time. You MUST understand, high percentages of young men/women want to be "macho", "tough" in appearance/character, "impressive" to buddies/girls/boys, etc. These same "kids" get an idea in their heads, i.e., joining the military, buying a car, getting married, etc. with NO "justifiable" reason, needless to say, NOT knowing what to expect, responsibilities, etc. They think they know ALL about life, BUT, in reality, nothing but "PUNKS", to put it harshly, that the "world" will "eat up" and "spit out". Why? They have NO "direction" of possibilities.

YOU must realize as his "dad" IF YOU did not provide proper "savings" for a "continued education", and this is a responsibility of YOURS, YOU "messed up" the past 18 or so years YOU had to help your son. At this stage you must support his decision with "suggested" guidance. One idea, research military opportunities. Visit recruiters from all branches, take their tests, see what opportunities for employment he qualifies, BUT, do not sign an "obligation, YOU are only there to see if he has interest from the test in any offered jobs.

YOU as his "dad" MUST take off the "blinders". Do not be like these "upper middle class" parents in my neighborhood, just telling their young adults, "they do not approve of military service" showing NO facts or justification, PROVE YOURSELF.

Military offers the young "direction", leadership, great schools, steady pay, advancement, college benefits, secured employment, 30 days paid vacation, and the list goes on. There are many military opportunities NOT in war zones and you can inquire. Air Force, Navy, if in war zone, are a long way from the "action". MOST of our military remains in the states many do not realize. FACT, you are more likely to be "killed" in a local auto accident than in current military, DID YOU KNOW THIS? Do some research before getting ALL upset and worried.

Look at the bright side, YOUR son has not gotten a young lady pregnant, with NO or little income, NO home. At least he shows some "value" to his "life", to "IMPROVE" and become a "productive citizen". Let him know YOU support his decision.

Good Luck, stay positive.

Gentle Giant
Let him go and be proud of his devotion to his country and his beliefs. The rest of us will join you in your pride.

Well you should support your son no matter what!
If he wants to join the military maybe try encouraging a different branch with shorter deployments and such! Like the Air Force! They have a much better way of life and are taken care of much better!

Support your son. It's his decision.

I serve my country so people like your son can make his own decisions. If we keep people from following their own path, what did the Soldiers before me die for?

when it is your sons time to go he will go and you wont be able to stop it...we are not promised tomorrow....and because he joins the military doesnt mean anything bad will happen to him..my husband when he joined was one of three that carried his last name...now he has a son..and he is the only one to carry our last name forward..if it werent for the fact he has medical issues that will prevent him from joining..i would be all for it...and the sad thing is he wants to too...but also understands having faulty kidneys they wont allow him too...what you do is let your son spread his wings and fly..and you support him regardless of what he wants to do as long as its legal.

Give your love and support for his decision.

YA is a sham
If he is insisting on military service, you should support his decision and remind him that they will train him to do any type of job he can imagine. After the ASVAB tests, he will have a score on 4 different types of intellectual ability. They take those scores and compare them to a list of available training options. He can enter as a "guaranteed enlistee" and be trained for the job he wants. Some positions are less likely to put him in harm's way.
The coast guard is always a good option too.

Good luck.

Imjez A
Be proud and support him. It is not your choice.

Burt C
Joining the service is a mature decision from your son.
The service will teach him, responsibilities, gain confident and get prepared for the rest of his life. ( G.I.Bill grants)
Not to encourage him on his decision will have an effect that he can fell at those obstacles . If you want to indulge him for the rest of his life and become a baby's momma...go ahead.
I can guarantee you that the sense of pride of your son, will surpass any doubts about him becoming a Soldier.
I jointed the Navy right after high school and never look back again...Other branches of the military with less war action are Coast Guard, Navy and Air Force.
I am now a Fed. Agent.

Give him a hug and say "I will be always there for you"

See what he has to say. Thats a tough situation, but if he really wants to do it its a good desision becuase hes helping our country. Thats all really I can say. Good luck though.

allow your son to live his life. if its not for him he will let you know. i spent 11years in the army made true mates who had my back through thick and thin in operational zones, northern Ireland and Bosnia. if its not for him he wont do it but whatever he chooses support him and be there for him he will appreciate it. good luck to your son and your nerves

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf

I joined the army at the age of 32. wish I would have done it at a younger age. Support him in his desire yo serve our country. there is no geater honor.

you should be proud as hell, its really not that important to carry on a name, if you care that much have another son. I would rather be able to say my son (if i had one) fought with courage and honor and died to protect this country than say that he could carry on my name.

sure id be sad as hell but also proud as EVER

Curtis B
First of all, assuming he is an adult, it's ultimately his choice. All you can do is respect his choice and love him. But joining the military is not a death sentence. tens of thousands of soldiers reach their ETS every day, with full medical benefits, college paid for, and more freebies than I could list here. On the way, they visit countries that most Americans would be hard pressed to find on a map, make lasting friendships, and have experiences that are exciting and rewarding. All while getting a healthy dose of exercise, values, and leadership training.

The best thing you can do is support his choice. when he comes back a hero, then, you will have a real family name.

he is an adult, let him make his own choice, and be proud that he chooses to repay his country.

His life, not yours. He must do what makes HIM happy, not what you want him to do.

Buckeye Bill
Geez, if he is of age not much can be done about it. I feel your pain brother.Maybe have him check out the Air Force or Coast Guard. Good luck.

Charles M
Support for your son is commendable. In any branch of the service it will be risky for life and limb. There are alot of way to get hurt or killed while serving your country. All that you could hope for is that he is careful about his decision and once he has made it, that he will be careful when he is in.

You may not want him to join because you wish for him to carry on the name, and many parents have that concern, but at the same time, one could see that as a selfish gesture on your part. So be it. I guess that dealing with an issue like this, you may be entitled to be a little selfish

One alternative is to talk with the recruiter to see if he can serve without going into a combat zone. Have you asked him? Have you talked about your concerns? Give it a try. The worst thing that the recruiter can say is that they can accomdidate him.

The other (and this may be more drastic) is for your some to leave some DNA and keep it frozen just in case. But this will open up a whole gaggle of legal problems if the worse happens. Consult a lawyer.

Adam J
Well of course it is ultimately his decision. Of course you should feel free to voice your concerns, which are entirely valid... You could suggest a different service than the army...
Best wishes to you and your son.

I have been where you are....you talk to his recruiter and ask him if he is aware of the Sullivian act. (the one where 5 brothers were killed on the same ship there was no sole surving son.) I'll bet he doese'nt know your son is a sole surviving son the recruiters only see a recruiting goal....if the guy knows the law then say can he go in #1 and #2 if he goes in he will be flagged from a combat role....he should agree and take your son with you.... Your son will be shocked that you care so much and that you know so much just watch you'll see....

Johnpaul G
this is a very difficult situation maybe yu should show him the death rate of th shoulders i donut want my son to join the army either good luck tho

Wow. Thats not a good idea. When I hear kids say they want to join the military, I usually tell them not to and that they can do so much more with their live then that.
It depends how old your son is, if he is still in High School, wait till he's out of high school and say maybe college ROTC, military academy and stuff. That would be about 4 years wait for him not to go into combat.
I'm sorry but I thought they don't let only child of a family into combat during nation conflicts.

I say no. No Military and No Mines. Im a WV girl an here it happens with generations..dads a miner brothers a miner uncles and cousins too...but no son of MINE will be working six inches from hell or brought home in a box leavin their momma broken hearted. No. My son knew how firmly I stood on this from the time I could explain....great pay.great opportunities why wouldnt it be your life is valuable until you no longer have it. The conversation came up on mining....they get these young boys who cant even legally purchase alcohol an send them on in a hole..and yea..same thing with military instead of a mining hat u get a uniform. Yes it honorable work and honest too and its great..for someone other than my child. Round here were brought up to respect our parents wishes and thats exactly what hes doing...hes working through the day and going to school at night. Great MAN. Good decision Nathan. Your momma couldnt be any more proud kid. Now for those that wanna dispute what I say..thats fine but let me leave with this...in jus a week wv will hit the one year mark for our brothers and fathers and sons that lost their life in the upper big branch mine..until youve walked in my shoes..our shoes... you cant measure my steps...i held hands and wiped tears with women an children who just wanted their men out ok..sure u guys know about it but you dont KNOW at all God bless.

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