My son desperately wants to join the army?

asdfghjkl;

show this to him and it will scared the SH*T OUtta him. see if he wants to join the army.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BZ1TF-IyNA

rencnielsen

if he really wants to go that bad there's nothing u can do to stop him. and plus, he'd have to be an idiot to not know there are obviously blown off limbs and casualties involved with being in the army. let him go on his journey.

Michelle W

he is 17...he needs your permission to join...if you know anyone who has been in the army, let your son talk to them...he'll get a better understanding...

scottybuttas

I have not served in the military but my brother and father and some of my friends have. From what i've observed, it really straightened them out and gave them a sort of purpose in life. If your son isn't great in school, or doesn't have many goals or anything in his life, maybe the military is for him. If he is extremely passionate about it and wants to have that structure and that challenge in his life, then maybe it's best to let him go. I guarantee he will come back more disciplined and more appreciative. I suggest sitting down and talking with him, telling him about you're concerns about the war, and make sure he really knows what he's getting into, and for the right reasons. As for the politicians war, Obama is coming into office, so maybe he'll have a better shot at not seeing wartime so young, but who really knows.

dibdibbler

Let him do it, he will resent you if you dont and will wait until he doesnt need your consent if you say no.

be proud of him and worried at the same time like all mothers are, the one thing you could do is try and persuade him to go into a career thats not so front line like an engineer or fitness instructor.

Anne L

Has he said why he wants to join? Sometimes the army can be the making of a person. He is not a child and although it's not the easiest of choices there are a range of skills and qualities he could learn there, as well as seeing the world. The army can also do a lot of good in helping those who are disadvantaged through war/disaster. I know it's hard, as a mum, to see him leave for a situation like that, but sometimes loving is about giving them the freedom to make these choices. If you stand in his way he may resent you and still go anyway at 18. We may not like the choices our loved ones make but sometimes we have to respect them and give them the opportunity to try something without recrimination.

shakenbake172007

he made his choice. let it be

LRP

The Army will pick up where u left off. They will make him a man and give him the key skills to make it in this world.I'm sure he knows what he is getting himself in 2. Support him he's your son. Trust me he needs u 2 back him up on this.

Firthy

For your son to join up all I can say is 'Good on him!'

But at the end of the day it is you who will have the final word as he is just 17 and so will need your consent.
I wouldn't really be too worried about him thinking it's all glamorous, in a way e is correct, the military does let you do what other places couldn't (around the world tours etc) but I think his drill instructors will make sure that your son knows that life in the military is not ALL fun and games as at the end of the day you still have to serve Queen and country.

Also I would ingnore jess, she's an idiot who has no say in this what so ever.

MandaBaby

i know that you are probably worried crazy right now but i just now turned 18 and ive wanted to go into the AirForce for 2 years now. My parents completly deny the fact that i am going and it is the hardest thing for me to do. If you dont let him do it at 17, if it is what he really wants. He will sign himself away at 18. The BEST thing you can do right now is be supportive. If I had just that 1 thing right there.. i'd feel like i have something worth coming home for..

If you deny him with it. The few times he gets to come home to visit for short periods of time he isnt going to even want to bother seeing you. Im not a parent but i would imagine that would be the most devastating thing to know that your own child doesnt want to see you.

Talk to him make sure its what he wants. Like i made myself wait a few months to see if i would grow out of it. Dont bring up anything negative in this conversation. You can say your worried, but most of all it is really important for you to be supportive of every choice your child makes in their life.

If you can do that, one day they will thank you for it all.

luludoodie

Our son has been in 18 years, starting as a junior. Straightened him out very well and he has matured into a really nice person.

He has had fabulous training and is now Warrant Officer Clerk of Works. In 3 years when he leaves he has firms lined up begging him to come and work for them.

When they first start life is very hard to weed out the weaklings. Once that is over they start to build them up again into better people!

He has just come back from Iraq (3rd tour) and next week goes to
Afghanistan. Of course we are worried but statistically he is more liable to be killed in a car crash 2 miles from his home!

Agree about not want to be part of B. Liar's politicians war but what has your son got to look forward to in the next few years when he can't get a job and may fall in with bad company!

Matt G

This is a sale of you time for their benefit...The military allows the recruiter to negotiate with the candidates that are smart enough to do so.... Ask about bonuses and length of contracts...Have your boy talk to other branches...I was in the Navy and know for a fact that its better to be 40 mile off the coast than in Iraq.

Ask him what he wants to do after the military...He might benefit from one branch more than another.... Each branch has similar jobs but some have better training to prepare you for civilian positions.

Facile Princeps

Fourteen of the best years of my life were spent in the army, three tours of Northern Ireland and the Falklands liberation and a couple of other foreign skirmish's which never made the headlines. "Glamour and coolness" it ain't but your training prepares you for every situation. Its only natural you should worry about him but he will be well looked after so let him live his dream

Adam V

It's not your decisions. It is your sons. Learn to deal with it. And thank your son for deciding to join the Forces of Good.

Mrsjvb

you have a choice: support him now or have him hate the next year of his life..and by extension..YOU and then he will sign up anyway when he is 18 and you could possibly lose him anyway due to him not speaking to you anymore.

Guess what: military service is NOT ALL BLOWN OFF LIMBS AND DEAD CASUALTIES.

Rommel

Well, its Always a tough one. i think the best thing to do is leave it to the basic training. its very good at weeding out the boys who are there for the glamour. ,you'd be surprised how many don't make it through. but he may just love it. he may just be a soldier. if i were you i would do what all parents have to do at some point, let go, let him do this. i had some of the best years of my life in the army. i wouldn't have missed them for the world. i was seventeen when i went in too.

let the healing begin

My son is in the army , he joined when there was no war on , while in bootcamp at the age of eighteen , the war broke out , many times he told me if he knew he wouldn't of joined. Through discipline and training he has become a fine soldier. Alas he is now on his third tour and he is only twenty five now . He went through the iraq war and came back someone I didn't know. He blanked out many times going back there. Things he had to do have been with him forever. It is not pretty , his mental state is no longer my son . Yes war is limbs and dead, and torture to . Torture to the mental state. I have worked with people from fort drum and helped them as they are exhausted of going on tour. Some have been released due to trauma and they can't handle it anymore . My son leaves again today , and this time he did not want to go , his third tour , now to southern afghanistan. My son is strong and he was I want the army , I want the army , yes they straighten people out , but what happens in the long run is sad. I see it in my own son . He doesn't even know if this time he is coming back and he told me this. He reenlisted because they made him feel like he couldn't succeed out in the civilian world, now he knows it was what they do . They do what they have to do to bring people in , through promises they do not honor . I know I have seen it and heard stories that are true from my son who is in the army . I can only hope and pray he does come back from this third tour. Let him know it is not all what they make it seem to be. They give false information and never tell the truth . I know I have seen it . If this is the life he chooses. please be honest with him. It is not what they tell you it is at the interview. My son went in for schooling , he hasn't even begun as they constantly send him back overseas. He is still waiting. Please if you can talk him out of it. They are no longer your sons!!!!!!!!! There mental state is so fragile. (Talk him out of it if you can) I am a reiki master
and I have seen what my son has seen , I cry for what I have seen through my sons eyes. My son is strong to , but they wear you done til there is nothing left . I am a mother of a son who is in the army . It is tough , very very tough

Andy

you have a very stereotypical View of the army blown of limbs and dead casualties, unlikely lol

Drixnot

If you are truly concerned for your son, ask him about what he is going to do when he gets out. Will he be saving for his future and getting an education or does he want to join the army because its the easy way out from making decisions for himself.

If he can come up with a good response then let him go. I think that many young men join because facing adulthood is scary and the army seems to take care of all those pesky details like food and shelter.

Daniel D

I was a junior soldier and he will not be sent to action until he is 18 years old. It may still be possible he may still be in training while hes 18. The truth is you can stop it at any time as he is under 18 and you have to sign the form to allow things to continue. But it will not stop him from joining when hes 18 though. It is scary but if its what he wants to do he will do it when hes 18.

precinctomega@btopenworld.com

You should speak in more detail with the NCO in the recruiting office. It sounds like he thinks your son might be a candidate for the Army Foundation College in Harrogate. This is essentially a vocational Sixth Form College that selects the brightest applicants for the technical Corps - Royal Engineers, Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers, and possibly others. AFC graduates are widely considered to be on a promotional fast-track and are often encouraged to study for a degree. A good proportion of AFC graduates subsequently attend the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst and become commissioned officers.

I can understand any parent being concerned about a child joining the Armed Forces. As a parent and a retired officer, I wonder myself how I would feel if either or both of my sons wished to follow in their father's and grandfather's footsteps. But despite what the media reports might lead one to believe, the Armed Forces are far from the most dangerous of occupations. Working as a sea fisherman, forester or in the construction industry is far more likely to lead to death or sserious injury than the Armed Forces (I've included a link below to the relevant figures).

The question of whether your son has a realistic view of Service life is a much more important question, in my view. The NCO in the recruiting office - professional though he is - is paid a bonus based on his achievement of recruiting quotas, so he's not going to be the most uncritical assessor of a recruit's suitability or expectations. But, having often counselled and worked with recruits, in the course of my Service, who found Army life far less interesting or, indeed, glamorous than they expected (with a great deal more hard work, study and being shouted at than they anticipated), I always encourage potential recruits to get the best possible picture of Army life.

If you have friends or relatives you have served or are serving, see if they will spend some time talking about their Service with your son. If not, get in touch with the local British Legion. Although many BL members are veterans whose service is decades behind them, there are often still recent retirees who would, I'm sure, be more than happy to have a chat with a young man thinking of joining up, in return for a pint or two of their favoured tipple.

If you're absolutely stuck, then a visit to the Army Rumour Service (http://www.arrse.co.uk) will give you a reasonably accurate (albeit rather bitter) view of military life.

At the end of the day, the Armed Forces are just an employer. There may be exciting days. There will certainly be very dull days. They pay well (especially in a recession), offer good career progression and the chance to learn any one of dozens of valuable trades. They also offer the chance to do something constructive and, in this cynical age, to learn the value of service, loyalty and honour: unfashionable values, to be sure, but ones that have never been needed more.

If I can help at all, feel free to contact me privately.

deechou45

Ok now I also haven't served but my brother is right now. My parents have tried to convince him not to but he went anyway. I would say don't try to scare him, he has spent his whole life hearing you try to scare him. he's 17, have a real discussion about it with him. this is a life decision which shouldn't be seen as just cool or glamorous. Most likely your job in the army won't be glamorous, most of the soldiers are required to fill a position, usually something extremely specific and monotonous.
But if he does want to go into the army for a career he shouldn't enlist. it will take years of service to reach the same point as west point grads (lt.)
I would say if you go strive for the best or else your record as a grunt won't be too impressive when trying to find work.

greggblack0590

if you dont want him to do it then dont sign the consent form. too easy.

but i raised my daughter to make her own decisions, after of course we talked and she carefully considered all her options. but she generally makes good decisions. not all i agree with. but it works out for her.

Paul B

my mum wants me to

The Rikstir VII

I joined the Army at 17 and I have to say if I could go back I would have waited a few years . Firstly any time served before your 18th birthday does not count as part of your contract so you end up having to serve longer . Secondly it is not and never has been glamorous .
Having said that I would still have joined up . It did me a world of good and gave me the character that I have now . If I was you I would try to explain to him that you only get your youth once and he should enjoy a bit of freedom first . It can be a great life but if it's not right for you or you're not right for it you can be left trapped . Once you're in you're in until the end of your contract . It was three years in my day I think it's four now .

one shot

Your son needs to do a reality check. Forget the rosy picture painted by the recruitment office - they can make sh!t look like caviar.

He needs to sit down with someone who been there and done it for real - and recently. It may not deter him from joining but at least he may realise the truth of serving in HM Forces and that there is no reset button in real life.

My lad enlisted in August 2000 at age 20 and he's glad he left it till that age, it allowed him to take whatever they threw at him.

Since then he's had 1 tour in Iraq and 3 in Afghanistan. His last tour in Afghan finished in March and he''s due to deploy again next month back to Afghan - a gap of 11 months. In the last 18 months he's had 4 mates KIA, the youngest was 19 and 3 severely wounded. He's had 2 close calls - one was an IED that went off late after they had passed and the other was ending up in an unmarked minefield. When out in the field he lives on cold rations and gets a shower about every 5 days when back in the base. He sh!ts into plastic bags which he then has to carry in his pack until he can dispose of back in base. The Taliban/Al Qaeda do not take POW's if caught you're dead. If wounded it can take up to 4 hours for air evacuation in the British sector due to lack of equipment. At present he is owed 73 days leave, which is about normal nowadays, but due to "operational and training commitments" he's got no chance of taking it. Last year (2008) he managed 18 days leave, this year will be worse as he will be deployed until August. His 2 week R&R halfway through his last tour was cancelled due to manning levels. The unit he serves with has some under the age of 18 - they've been told they will deploy and join the unit in Afghan as soon as they turn 18 because like most front line units resignations are far outstripping recruitment and they are understrength. This leads to an excessive workload, my son exists on "power naps" in the field, the only real sleep he gets is when back in base which is normally one day in six.

That's just a little of what it is really like. My son is no wimp, he's a badged sniper with the rank of Corporal and leads the sniper section, he's passed the SAS selection course and regularly works with them. But even he considers the conditions in HM Forces at the moment a total joke and makes the comment "if people actually knew what's happening out there they'd go apesh!t"

chardy2005guy

Let him do what he wants to do. At least he's doing something worthwhile.

chindit

This is always a tough one for mothers and I think back to the day when i came home with an application to join the British Army. My mother was not to keen on the idea. Northern Ireland was the big worry during the 80's and that's where she came from. She had a first hand knowledge of the troubles and didn't want to see her son killed over there.

I told her that if she didn't give her consent then I would only enlist when I was 18 anyway! So here I am over 20 years later, with numerous operational tours under my belt, include several of Northern Ireland and Iraq.

I can fully empathise with the way that you are feeling. I am also an ex army careers adviser and I can say that 16 or 17 is too young for some young men and women, and others adapt to it like ducks to water. In the two years I also spent with a training regiment I can also tell you that I see men and women in their late twenties who were not mature enough for it, at the end of the day everyone is different and I'm sure you know your son.

I take it that the careers office are trying to get him into either AFC Harrogate or ATR Winchester later this year. The training at Harrogate is first class and it generally does give youngsters the best start in the Army regarding training and qualifications and the facilities are second to none. So he is giving you sound advice as far as this is concerned. If he does not like it then he has until week 36 to leave.

So it is really down to you, your son and the remainder of your family to discuss about his options and your concerns. Although you see doom and gloom on the TV about casualties and fatalities etc, the number is still relatively low in proportion to the amount of troops who have served in those theatres. (this is by no means meant to be-little the ultimate sacrifice that our servicemen and women have made)
This will probably be small comfort to you if you son does enlist and deploys, ceratinly my wife found it tough during my first Iraq deployment. However it is part and parcel of service life.

For me I made the right decision and I'm glad my mother gave her consent. About six months into training I got the collywobbles and I i wanted to leave. My mother wouldn't allow me to do so as she said it was doing me good! Whatever you decide all the best.

Becka

I have not served..but I can tell you I have two cousins, one a Marine, the other in the Army and after coming back they told me it's not what they make it out to be at all. I support our troops but I do question our gov. and reason. My cousin "K" in the Marines came back for Christmas and told me she was thinking of hurting herself to get out. My other cousin "F" in the army said he was disappointed in the pay. But the one thing they both had in common was..they said it was weird coming home and living "norm" life again. B/c there, they were told when to eat, sleep...etc.. They seem okay.
And military recruiters will tell you anything to get them on board..They make bank off these kids..
I am a mother..If my son were 17 and my Gut was telling me no..I would of course do everything in my power to keep him away. On the other hand, there comes a certain age when they just jump. Man..

a51_f

I wouldn't let my son.... Why should he fight in a war that has no reason behind it. The people who started the war should be fighting it, not your son (very unlikely)

Ali

MY son aged 18 will be stating hes basic training next week for the army. Before this he was out of work for two years after failing collage. Hes self esteem and confidence was non existent. He is now looking forward to he's new way of life. As a mother I am very worried about him and the thought of not seeing him much breaks my heart. But you have to let go and let them grow up. No way would I have stood in hes way and tried to talk him out of it. Of course I showed him my concerns and he did listen. He will have to try for him self and if he don't like it then its up to him to leave..... I am very proud of him and will of course cry when dropping him of at Perbright for hes training. But at the same time will be smiling because its something he wants to do and I will be so happy for him. After all I want him to come home to me where he remembers that hes mum supports him and not one that doesn't!! So good luck son and I love you!

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