Should I marry my boyfriend who just joined the army?

A M

Slow down. Do not rush into marriage. If he REALLY loves you, he will understand the need to slow down. The stability of your relationship is more important.

How old are you? More info please...

Jin S

You have in a way answered your own question. He is concerned that after finishing you can only be with him if married. That doesn't sound like the best reason to marry someone, the last thing you want is a marriage of convininence.

If he was not going into service would he be approaching you for marriage? This is the question you have to ask yourself.

Marcus Cicero

After 5 years, how the heck are you rushing. As for overseas, depends where he is.

rn annie

What has kept you from marrying him before now? 5 years is a long courtship unless you were both underage when the relationship began. Being a military spouse during times of war is a difficult task. You must be prepared to be alone in a new place if he is deployed. The other option is to remain at home, married to him, with the support of your family and friends while he is deployed.

I have been a military spouse for 14 years and each deployment is different. I have returned "home" twice now. Both times we were in a new place and I had not built up any support systems.

I married my husband 6 weeks before he left for Basic and AIT. We married in June and I didn't see him again until January. You need to take stock of what you want and decide if you can be faithful to him if he is gone for a very long time. Iraq tours are basically 15 months right now with the possibility that they may go to 18 month tours.

If you don't have children this will be easier on you as you won't have your kids crying for Daddy in the middle of the night.

For the record you CAN go with him if he gets stationed somewhere without being married however you have no privledges like Insurance, post, phone trees and you can't live on post with him. If you have a good job then you can rent a place off post together but it is much harder.

I married my soldier and it was the best thing I EVER did. We have survived 3 tours of Iraq and one tour of Korea. We have been married for 14 years now.

baby_phat

I was in the military...air force not army. And being a military wife is not easy. If you think that you can deal with the obligations that he has to make with the army...and sometimes they are put before you...then go ahead. Just know that there is always that possiblity of him being deployed and being gone for long periods of time especially depending on what his job is. If you think that the love you have for him is strong enough to make it work when facing those tough times then do it. BUT DONT do it just because you want to be where he is. Being apart may be hard because you may have to be alone but if you go with him you may still end up alone if he gets deployed or goes TDY. Think it out and talk about it. See how things go through boot camp and tech school and go from there. GOOD LUCK.

americangal1981

There is always time to get married after boot camp. He can take leave to come home and get married. It may not be the day after boot camp but you guys will be fine. I am marrying someone in the USMC and its not that easy. You have to always be prepared for them to be deployed. You are right, if they are depoloyed you can not go with them however, if they are stationed somewhere overseas, yes you can go as long as you are married. What you do have to realize is if you arent married and something happens to you when or if he is deployed, the military does not care because you are not married. The reason my fiance and I are moving the wedding up to this year and not keeping it next year is because Im prego and if something happens to me during labor and he is deployed, he will not be sent home. There are certain things you need to look at. I need to know how old you are. If you are between 18-20 I personally say wait cause its not easy. If you guys decide to go for it, more power to you. Its your life and only you guys will know how stronly your feelings for each other are. Good luck sweetheart!

Anthony F

Yes, and pray that he gets back safely.

chappye7

Yes and Congratulations

brneyesturnblue

If you love him, I think you should. But just because you are married...doesn't mean that you will beable to go where he goes...as the military sends our troops away without their love ones. Good luck in what ever you decide.

maslyn_jl

That is completely up to you. If you feel like you would be rushing into marriage then don't do it. You might not want to rush to be together right after basic. Give him time to get used to the Army and see what happens from there.

Good luck and god bless!

Jennifer S

You've been dating for quite some time, get it done before August. By the time he gets out of BCT he'll have orders. If you're not on them you pay out of pocket to be wherever he may be stationed at.
Continue your education, wherever you may be at right now. Finish your schooling, have yourself a job of some sort to keep yourself busy---because you will spend the first year of marriage alone a lot. Not saying that to be rude or nasty, it's just a fact of training.

Ain't nothing wrong with wanting to be married before he goes off to BCT---in fact, you'll be better equipped in the long run, you'll be able to have more info as to what's going on with him and his training, and you'll have a better support system in place--depending on how out going you are.

Army life is what you make of it---if you're easy-going, out going, you don't stress out real easy---it'll be much easier. Plans change on a dime, anniversaries will be missed-along with birthdays and other holiday. Just take it in stride, be an independant woman, and you'll be fine. :)

navywife

if you already know that you want t o spend the rest of your life with him then marry him, why question it? as for not being able to go where he is stationed if you are not married, you can but you have to live out in town because if you aren't married he is not eligable for housing on post and you won't have any post priveleges. such as going on post. there are many great benefits you get being a military spouse, health insurance, dental insurance,post priveleges( like going to the commissary and the px ) but even if you don't marry him you can go with him.

marko80us

No---I wouldnt do it

mar036

Not a problem, don't go, don't get married, or go and have him pay for it all. As long as he is willing to do that then your Golden. If you want the Army to pay for it get married. In addition, you have no rights what so ever just being his girlfriend with the military. At least none of the ones associated with being his spouse. Good luck. Oh by the way, if he gets sent overseas and your married you can go as long as he chooses a with dependents tour.

le VicSter

My advice is to wait until after he's done with basic and his technical training schools. Once that is out of the way, both of you can make plans to get married. A lot of things need to be sorted out before you even set a date. If he gets stationed far away (like Europe or something) and you plan on getting married state side (trust me-that's what you should do), after the wedding you might not be able to travel back with him until everything the military needs is set in stone. Before you come back with him, he needs to get you command sponsorship and you need to be placed on his DEERS paperwork. After all that hassle is done, then you'd be able to travel to his current duty station, and all future duty stations.

Sometimes getting command sponsorship isn't easy, so it could take a while.

Personally-it does sound like you're rushing because he's leaving soon. When it comes to marriage and the military, it's best not to rush anything.

Morgan

If you and him feel ready to get married now then go for it. If you feel rushed then dont. There is no "right" answer to this question. My husband and I got married after he graduated from OSUT and we are just fine. Do what your comfortable with and dont listen to some of these people who judge you without knowing you.

vintagemale1951

you said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, yes ,marry him now before basic training,and good luck.may god watch you both,

eric l

I'll bet you are under 25. Probably just out of high school?

If these questions are true, then wait until a few years in to his enlistment. The transition is a tough time for both. If what I say above is true then your marriage would probably fail if you got married now.

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