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Kelli
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If they are underage you say NO. And if they are overage, say NO. Let them know how you feel. Unless they have a burning desire to fight in a war they can't win, just say NO. If they get hurt, you will be the one changing their diapers and dealing with their head injury for the rest of your life. |
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grips
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Actually you can say no all you want, but if they're 18, they don't need your permission. |
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alanastarkey
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There are a lot of things to consider. I would not say "no" right off the bat.
Even if I didn't want my child to join I would hesitate to shout "NO!!111eleven!!!" like in your question. After all, they do not need your permission after their 18th birthday. |
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Yoni
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Whats wrong weith the ar my. Its good for a lot of ppl. Even now. |
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Olivia
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I would be honored to have my sons serve in the armed forces if they so choose. |
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cpm_2007
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No, because then you will push them away from talking to you about it. Ask them why they want to and discuss it. |
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financing_loans
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Well find out why he wants to join the army. The army is huge and pays for college etc. I get the wars in Iraq ect would make any parent worry.
But if he wants to join the college for a sense of duty to his country and community. Why the hell would you say no? You should encourage your kids in all things. Its not like you are trying to talk in out of being a drug dealer. Its an honorable thing to do, and could advance his life much further then working at McDonalds for 4 years. |
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`♥•Debbie the PINAY`♥•
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if you want to say no, explain why |
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gilgamesh
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No, you shouldn't just say no. If your child wants to do it, I think it's a great opportunity for them. It will teach them about responsibility, discipline, get them in shape, and give them a taste of life. Is it really not a good time, or are you just afraid for your child I think is more to the point. You need to sit down and have a thorough discussion with your kid and see what their motivation is and make sure to talk about what they can expect before, during and afterward. |
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Kate
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are you the one making the decsion? are they old enough? are they married? all these things matter a lot. maybe you should just talk to them about how you feel. |
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♥ Infantry Wife ♥
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no...you should sit down with your child and discuss their reasoning behind joining the army...all you're going to do by telling them no is make them want to do it more...my son is planning on joining the army(he's 15) and myself and my husband have sat down and talked to him about what will happen as far as basic all the way thru possible deployments and he understands what will be asked of him... |
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Christa K
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You should be proud that your child wants to defend what you showed them as a child. And you have to think about the time line. Boot camp and specialized training would take them into 2008 so if the next president doesn't want a war the chances of them being deployed would be slim to none.
You may not want your baby going but you should let them go!!! |
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Denise S
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You should say, "I'll support you, whatever your decision," because that's what good parents say :) You don't have to agree with the choice. |
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Legend
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Why would you say no? You live in this country and you reap the benefits therein. Being in the service is a great job, epsecially at this time. When else can you obtain operational experience? That is the difference between growing up to be an adult and human being and growing up to be clueless. |
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Memnoch
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Tell them your opinion on the matter. Point out any pros and cons that you can think of. Let them make their own decision. As long as you educate them and let them know their options they should be able to live their own life without a parent trying to run it for them. |
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ItsJustMe
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Do what you think is best, but in my opinion, you should not say "no" to them. My daughter is 6 and already wants to follow her Grandfather's footsteps and go to the US Naval Academy. We could not be more proud of her, and while we won't push her one way or another, I would be happy if she did attend it.
God Bless our Troops! |
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yes_its_me
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You may have your opinion about the military, but you can only influence them if they are under 18.
Joining the military is a deeply personal choice based on a lot of things that a person knows about themselves. It is not a good idea for a parent to force their concepts on adult children because it rarely results in mutual agreement.
Assuming the worst is what many parents are doing and this is eliminating the military as a choice for some young people and ends up putting a strain on everyone else.
First, understand that not everyone is suite to go to college right after 12 years of going to school. Some like my self need the experiences of the military to make them understand what college can get you and why it is worthwhile.
Next, consider that with no volunteer for the military, there would be a draft and your child would go anyway.
And last, do you have a crystal ball? When would a good time be? When peace and prosperity break out across the planet. When every country signs a treaty of non aggression? The war in Iraq could be over by the time your child goes through basic and AIT. Or we could be embroiled in another conflict. You just don't know. You don't join the military for a soft safe life. You join the military because you thrive on ritual and organization. You become the part of something bigger than yourself. |
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Barry auh2o
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If you want to lose any respect they have for you, go ahead. Tell me, what right do you have to try to live their lives for them? |
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Dr Z
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Let me ask you...what did you do, as a teen, when your parents just said no..with no real explanation? A child is not really asking for your permission, if over 18, as much as asking for your support. In their heart...they know what they want to do...and they want to know that you will support them as you have done their entire life. We, as parents, want to protect our children....but we are no more able to do so then our parents were able to protect us past a certain stage in our lives.
You can only tell them you are proud of them and to be careful.
Semper Fi,
Z
Capt. USMC Ret. |
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Yestheyrefake
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If your child asks about joining, you should pat them on the back, and yourself because you have raised a child who cares deeply about their country--so you must have done something right.
Before they join, however, you should talk with them about what the branches of service have to offer (whether it is better to enlist or go ROTC if college is an option, or even try to get into an academy).....and you should talk to them about the sacrifices they may have to make.
Most of all, you should let them know how wonderful they are for considering this very important decision and asking for your input. |
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Airbound Gabe
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to say simply no would be a bad idea. they'll just wait til 18 and then you won't be able to stop them. you should educate them about the choice they want to take. make sure that when they take the decision, they take it knowing fully what may happen to them. that they enter the army with no illusions whatsoever. to tell em no without explaining why would be counter-productive and might erode the relationship you have with him/her. if you tell em no and he/she joins , your child would see you as a coward and despise ya. you should tell your child how you feel about joining and tell it straight that no matter what your child may choose that you'll be proud of him/her. that's what i would do if i were in your position. |
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Nefertiti
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If your child is over 18 they can join without your permission. If he/she is still in high school, but just thinking about it, as with any other choice if you issue a blanket "no" it makes them want to do it all the more. The best course of action is to have them do research and come up with a pros & cons list. Sometimes through that process your child may decide on their own not to join after all. But if they do decide to enlist in the military, good luck. Parents with children in the military need all the help they can. |
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Lisa
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NO...H.e.l.l. no.......why would you tell someone not to defend their country? are you crazy? |
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Roadrunner58-79
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I would say YES and the US Military are not taking children into the US Armed Forces. A US Military Career is a very good and positive experience!!! |
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lisab
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Sure if you want to...however have you sat back and asked them why they want to...once they turn 18 they can do what they want.
Just for your information I joined in 96 thought yeah there is never going to be a war blah blah blah, (not that I was scared I knew what I was getting into) than boom in 2003 I was in Iraq. So when I joined it was a good time but didn't stay that way. Of course I would do it again if I could. |
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nite_angelica
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You can pretty much say whatever you want. However, if they are 18 and they REALLY have their mind set on joining, you would probably lose that battle.
Don't give them THAT reason to rebel. Tell them what you think about it and what your concerns are. However, we know how teenagers love something when we hate it - don't make that option more attractive to them by being totally against it. |
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Pelagius
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If it is the US or UK army, what's your problem? Do you want your brave son to think he's a sissy compared to his mates?
So, you are happy for me to pay your child's military wages and pension so long as he or she doesn't have to fight? My parents never got such a good deal.
Thank God for USMC! Real men.
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I at least understand that I don't want to wait until we have to fight these wars inside our own borders.
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Tryin to Liv
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My boyfriend is in the army and served 2 tours in Iraq. He really wanted to get out of the army when he came back, but now decided he wants to stay and excepted a job starting @ $18 an hour. He is undeployable with this job. I don't think you should necessarily say "no" to your son. Talk to him about it. Find out what he wants to do in the army and why he wants to join. (is is just to blow things up or for a career? Does he want to drop out of high school to join? ) There are many things to do in the army and not he may not even be deployable. But make sure he wants it for the right reasons or he may end up regretting it. The army isn't all that bad and it teaches respect, responsiblity, and makes them feel like they are a part of something meaningful and good. |
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USA
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Well, you should never say no directly.
If you think it's not good or you don't like or don't want then you should always give your reasons and your point of view and also listen to his point of view and then come up with a solution. Everything depends on the situation, e.g if your parents are sick and need help and no body is there to take care of them then i think it should be your first pirority to take care of your parents first in that particular situation.
So, it depneds on situation. |
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oma_30701
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As a mother of three that are currently serving our country I would have to say it's not my choice to make it was theirs and as for JD they do go through both physical and psychological testing before they join any branch do you really think they want a bunch of nut cases in the military;;;;The service can help a young person to mature, learn to rely on others besides their family and they can get a good education if they want too..And most of all whatever they decide support them 100%.... |
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galaxiexl
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Hard being a Parent,Isn't it? Now stand back and let your kid grow up! |
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