What do you do when your a homeless Army Wife?
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What do you do when your a homeless Army Wife?
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Ok so here it goes. I started out with this because this is the situation I am in now. I have been living with friends and family since June of 2008 because I lost my appartment and am at a loss at this point.
I have been married to a guy in the Army now for 4 years. In November of 2007 he got back in after being out 6 months and left for training. I have not seen him since. He has had many girl friends and has even sent over 1000 dollars to one of them.
I do receive $637.80 a month from him but that is not enough to support me and two kids one which is his. I was relying on his support because I was a stay at home mom who has had massive health issues for 6 years.
I have not seen him since he left and seeing as he has been out of training for almost a year now I don't see what the reason is.
So now he has been telling me he wants a divorce and has since December 2007 but has not done the paperwork and I have not been able to send any to him because he refuses to give me any information to go off of. I have tried going through the military and the base that he says he is at but they frown on the fact that I don't know where my own husband is.
I have had many of my military friends try and find him through different venues but they have not had any luck either. Every time I message him about the divorce he says he is to busy or this or that. I just don't know where to go from here. I have proof that he has cheated on me and has sent another woman money rather then sending it to his son.
Please help what am I suppose to do.
Additional Details
Ok I guess I was a little vague on some things that might be important. I don't have a military ID because for one I do not live anywhere near a base and for two the paper work that you have to have to get one he is refusing to send to me. As for the lawyers I have talked to a few but since I have no money they give me a consult and can't help any farther. As for the media I have thought about that but would rather not put a bad outlook on the men and women who serve our country. I don't want people to get the wrong idea about the great work that they do. To be honest doing anything bad to anyone is hard for me to do. I don't want him to get into trouble even though he has hurt me I just want to move on with my life. Being married to someone you never talk to and never see is a very hard thing to go through.
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scubasniper
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If you know what base he's at then I'd advise you to contact the IG office at that location. Advise them of your plight and they will assist you in rectifying the situation. If you do not know what base he's at then I'd advise you to get sneaky and find out ie set up a fake myspace/facebook account and flirt your way to the information...we're guys, it ain't hard. Best of luck, he needs to take care of his responsibilities. |
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Cliff C
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Lots of good information here. But also contact some other agencies for help. While they may not be able to offer much direct help, they can bring him a lot of unwanted attention.
Apply for welfare assistance & Food Stamps.
Red Cross.
Army Emergency Relief.
Write your Congressman/Senator.
All these will generate inquires through the chain of command to your husband's commander/supervisor. They will not like it, they will have some serious discussions with your husband and he will not be a happy camper. |
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tariq[wali]
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It is very EASY to find a Soldier. You just have to know where to look. Your situation is very messed up, and you should contact JAG at the nearest military installation. They will be able to assist you with rectifying the situation. Because you are his wife, you are ENTITLED to many things he is denying you.
Additionally, you being his wife, you have the right to knwo where he is. I'll be the first to tell you that outside of language training there really isn't any "training" that last a year. It sounds like he has PCS'd somewhere and not informed you.
Also.. even after the divorce and ESPECIALLY while you are married, that child that is his should have an ID card. You being the mother of the child, that's all you need to get onto a military installation. The child even after the divorce is still entitled to health care. |
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31bravo
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Uhm, you should know what unit hes in, and talk to his Chain Of Command. This is shittie, not gonna lie. If there was a male in my unit doing this, he would soo be hemmed up in about .05 seconds. Or, ill do you know better. No lie, write a letter to your Congress Person and tell him that you need his help in contacting your soldier [[yea, thats right, your still married and you have the right to know where he is]] and you should get a response back. If not, your a dependent, you can still file for Divorce and well, you will get your money and your childern will get theres. You should have all his info [[Birth Date, SSN, Name, Home Of Record, Military Enlisted Dates]]... File and you'll see a change. |
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NWIP
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He is still AD? Is he stationed with a command? If yes do you have a military ID card? If so then you are covered for medical through the military and so are the children. You can also speak to the Chaplain at the base closest to you. If you speak to JAG all they can do is refer you to a local lawyer. |
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Mrsjvb
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find a pro bono lawyer.
the military will do nothing because you say he is giving you money each month. legally all he is required to give you is a portion of his BAH. he is obviously doing this.
without a court order they will do nothing else. |
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Aphrodite_Mermaid
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Just a note of support, to say that I hope this issue is resolved amicably for you and that you obtain the assistance you need, both financially and emotionally.
Bringing up a family alone, not to mention the health issues you have, must be extremely difficult and I admire your tenacity & resolve.
The answers you've received on here are gr8 and I wish you and your children all the best.
Take care |
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Gree
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Go to a lawyer, he will know how to go about |
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Smell This
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...are you in a "good" relationship with "his" family...? (His mother, His Father, brothers, sisters etc...?) If you are... go to them for informational help and show them the situation you're in with "his" children..."their" Grandchildren... !) Be "tactful" but firm... |
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ShadowCat
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What about you and Your Welfare? Did he think about that? You have Three Choices and if I were you I would see them all!
Go To the Chaplain
See his Commanding Officer He'll see about Monetary benefits for you and the Military does Not like Looser.
Visit Your Congressman or Senator's office
Go See Jag, that's the Military Attorney and he or she can represent you, armed with your marriage License! |
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laxallday
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you tell the media because it will make it a huge situation and embarrass your husband, and the army because they do not know were he is. |
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