What is wrong with military men?

Brianna

If a guy is saying this to you, he's cheating on you.

He is cheating, so has cheating on his mind. He thinks that if he's doing it, you MUST be doing it to, so to take the focus off of himself, he's going to put it on you.

I was married for 6 years to a soldier that accused me of cheating on him any time we were separated for more than 15 minutes (outside of work).

We were both in the same Regiment, but two differant Troops. He would always come home from field problems and ask me who I had over at our house, or who's barracks I was whoring around in. When I went to the field, he would ask who's tent or truck I was sleeping in.

My baby's daddy always accused me of cheating too. I was three months pregnant when I found out that he was still married AND had a mistress, who he is now married to and they trying to take my daughter away from me.

When a guy accuses you, he's cheating. The more insistant he is in his accusations, the more certain you can be that he is with someone else. Do not marry this guy, it will only get worse for you. He says you're going to leave him, I think you should prove him right.

Good luck! :-)

BDZot

Because it's fairly common in the military. The old joke goes that you can find out which unit is deployed or in the field by who's wives are at the clubs. Distance does NOT make the heart grow fonder.

I got married about a year after I joined up. I only had a year left on a tour in Germany, so my wife stayed stateside while I finished my tour. She got lonely after about, oh, a month...got a boyfriend, and dumped my *** after I came back from Germany. Turned out that she would go over to his house, screw him silly, then call me in Germany on his phone (so she wouldn't have to pay for the phone call) and tell me how much she missed and loved me. Made ME very cynical about relationships to this day.

John

because it happens a lot (more often than you think) and they hear the horror stories of their buddies
they don't want to be taken by surprise if that happens to them

It is what it is

It is because it is prevalent in the military and he's probably seen that happen w/ his peers... or maybe it's happened to him in the past. You cant control how he feels bec. he is surrounded by that everyday BUT you can certainly reassure him how much you love him and that you will always be faithful to him, and most importantly, to take a chance on you and your love. When he's away,it's always good to talk about all the stuff you're excited about together and all the stuff you two can look forward to...even when he's not away, I believe that in relationships, excitement is always essential. Always have something to look forward to and always appreciate each other... appreciate him and let him know how much he means to you and that you are lucky to have him in your life. Security and ease/comfort in your relationship go a long way. Also always be considerate and sensitive to his feelings also bec. yes, cheating happens a lot in the mil... there's plenty of cheaters in the mil but i do believe there are good and loyal ones too. You just have to be selective and you have to be friends most of all.

Lisa S

I don't think it is military guy's in general. You might have one with issues.

Kylie

Im a young army wife of a year...and i grew up army so i have seen the ins and outs.

while our men are gone theres a saying about the wives, "they either cheat...or eat." haha. bad i know. but some women gets boyfriends...and the others stuff their face from being alone.

my hubby came home from iraq about 2 months ago---and so far about 20 people he knows are divorced. women are terrible when the men are gone...especailly in a military town....and the truth always comes back around.

then again...the guys arent always the victims either. there are opportunities for the guys to run astray as well---hopefully hes not acting that way out of a guilty conscince.

make sure you are careful who you hang out with...even if its other wives. not all wives are dedicated-- especially the younger ones.

He is insecure because of what he sees going on around him. do your best to re-assure him that hes the only one you want.

BJJ Chick

If you have a man questioning your loyalty you both need to re-evaluate your relationship.

That being said, military men have it drilled into them that "Jody" is back home taking care of their girl and feel free to do it as well. Also a lot of them use it to legitimatize their cheating, well she must be cheating on me so its ok if I do it to. When guys go through training they are told they don't have a wife anymore, their weapon is now their spouse, and all sorts of other stupid things. And the military wonders why its soldiers have marital issues?

However a good strong husband lets all this goes by him because he knows that he picked a good strong wife to stand proudly beside him, to guard his home and family while he is gone. If your man doesn't have this kind of trust and faith in you and you don't in him than you have deeper issues than just the military.

There is a cute saying that I like, The Army is my husbands girlfriend and sometime that b*tch gets all his time!

blondeqtpie13

My first husband was a Marine. When we got married he only had one year left so I didn't pack up and move there with him. He didn't want me to. At first I thought it was because it was cheaper to stay where I was but then when he came back on leave, we would fight the whole time because he would accuse me of cheating while he was gone. I was too busy raising my 2 young sons and working to cheat. I had no time or desire to cheat. Turns out, he was the one doing the cheating.

Rose M

My husband is a Marine and he has never accused me of cheating or messing around. We have a very honest and open relationship, so we both trust each other very much. I believe people who accuse their significant other of infidelities are either very insecure or may have a guilty conscience. At times it is probably very natural for someone who is so far away from their mate to have fears and insecurities, but just keep reassuring him that you love him, you are faithful to him, and that you will be waiting for him. And PLEASE Never cheat on him!!! It will ruin him forever!!!

akbutner2

I don't know. I don't have that problem with my husband. Maybe you guys have trust issues between the two of you.

Mrs Cleavers hairless beaver

I know that the bad women who do cheat ruin it for pretty much all.Kinda sounds like he's worried that you'll do the samething that he has done. I hope not but thats my first thought. It's hard to be away from one another, I know my mind would wonder too if I switched places with my husband. Good luck to you guys

mexi_fry_1

It take a strong women to love a military man and this is one of the reasons why!
If ya'll cant work through this than maybe its not meant to be.
You have to trust eachother 100% or you are going to have a miserable marriage. If things dont change then maybe yall should go your seperate ways.

Cheating happens a lot in the military! Wives get lonely and bored and start acting stupid! Of course guys cheat too!

Fred

True story Aretha. Back when I was a Lance corporal, one night my Squad leader Johnny said to me "3/2 just deployed today. Let's go hit the clubs tonight!".
We went to one of the local dance clubs that night and it was pretty bad. This was the first time I had been to a bar where women outnumbered the men 5 to 1. I had been to this bar before, and it was 20 to 1 with Marines being in the majority.

I was pretty naive at that point in my life, and it made me sad to think that all of those women were there the same day that their husbands had left.

Situations like that are what your husband hears about, and sadly it has affected him.

I did go home with a woman that night, but when we got to her house, I saw pictures of her and her husband all over the place and I couldn't follow through. Man, was she pissed! I had totally ruined her first night of the next 6 months.

C-G-M-I

Military Saying!
I will trust my fellow brothers with my life, however, ill never trust them with my money or my wife!

grannybce

number one, that is what they are told when they join. and number two, a lot of women do cheat.....but not all.......you just have to stay strong and don't give him anything to wonder about....assure him that you love him and always will.....and you will be doing this forever.....got to love your military man.....they are the best....

nas88caror 300 09? way to go BK!

because it happens and the divorce rate is real high at this time because of loneliness.
It is hard being away from the one you love for weeks to months at a time.
I hope that isn't the case.
I bet he has scene that all ready in his unit.

desertviking_00

Because we have a growing population in this country of people masquerading as adults while they are still mentally in high school. And that is true of both females and males. So, the doings of characters on soap operas and evening "dramas" become the social norm for lots of people. Celebrity worship is at an all-time high and the "mattress mambo" doings of the celebs are not scorned. In fact, it adds to their allure.
What you and your boyfriend need to do is a little head-clearing exercise. Go to a store and buy two cheap notebooks and two pencils. Give him one of each. Then the two of you need to go to your separate residences and write your answers to the following two questions:
1. Why do I want to go on living?
2. Why do I want to go on living with you?
Exchange your notebooks and read what the other person has written. If you can't get through this exercise (designed to get past what your friends think of him, what his friends think of you, etc.) then you need to lovingly part and seek another partner.

Musica

Sometimes the wife or girlfriend of a military man will "cheat" while the man is deployed, but then so does the man when he's far away from home!

There's a reason why the term "a girl in every port" exists!

Chances are if the guy is accusing you of cheating, he may be doing it himself and just projecting. Thing is, it's not being in the military that makes him that way. Those kinds of men or women who are basically emotionally immature, insecure, have jealous streaks or tendencies to be unfaithful themselves would be like that even in civilian life! Look at the other fields where there are high levels of infidelity in couples: politicians, professional athletes, celebrities, traveling salespeople, truck drivers.

Livin Life

Dear Johnny,
I found Jodie,
Love Sally.

ALOT of Wives cheat their asses off becuase they get "lonely" when their man is gone.
He could just be paranoid because he hears it constantly from other men or he could be cheating on you. Most likely .. Hes paranoid.

Antonio R

Because it happens to a lot of us, and we get paranoid when we hear our friends stories..but believe me, i am in the military, and i see soooo many men and women cheat on their spouses..it happens alot...

Me F.

LMAO,
this question made my day!

Military men are pretty macho anyway, I wouldn't suggest them to ordinary women who want more than someone to provide and give them a sense of security/accomplishment.

LT C

You two have trust issues. Or he has been cheating on you. Either way, sounds like you two weren't meant for each other and you should move on. There are lots of fish in the sea and you shouldn't settle.

Don't settle for someone you know isn't right for you because you're more afraid of being alone. You will regret it when you're older.

Victor

I'm a military guy. I 100% on my life believe that long distance relationships over 2 or 3 months don't work. you will eventually cheat on him no matter how much you deny it I've seen it thousands of times. sorry for the fact but beileve what you want. That's why I don't do long distance relationships. guys can't trust girls, and most defenitly hes screwin around if not now then later trust me, seen to much of it.

oh and I did have a girl friend but when i joined the navy I don't think it would be right for me to leave and for her to have to be alone. I think that is wrong. Get someone whos their for you don't waste your time cause one day hes going to come back with a phone number or a friend or a pregnant striper or some ****.

Malachi

Because it probably happens to like 25% of them. And stop hitting on me by sending emails. I don't like you and won't mess around with a woman married to a man serving for our country. I'm sorry.

EDIT: Okay. Either you're delusional or you are just trying to play it off. Here, i even took a screenshot of the email. Now seriously, please stop harassing me.

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