What should I do if find out husband is cheating in Iraq?

Tracey E

If they are together over there why would he email and IM her and not just talk to her, so there wouldn't be any proof. I would give my husband the benefit of the doubt and not trust a female who I do not know. I know when I was deployed my company was on a camp an hour away from our battalion and people from the battalion were telling my husband back in Germany that I was cheating on him. Some people will say things to hurt others out of jealousy. Asking your husband through email and IM will not solve the issue as you will still have lingering doubts. You could wait till he comes home to ask him, that way you can have the conversation face to face. If you believe that the emails and IMs are true, I would forward them to his 1SG and let them sort it out over there.

Concerned1

First of all, I would wonder what happened that provoked this woman to inform you of this to begin with?

That may give you some clues. She could be a jaded lover looking for revenge.

Or...maybe she's trying to sabatoge him for other reasons and what she says are all lies.

I'd definitely talk to him and get to the bottom of it.

Lots of luck.

Savoir FaireÂ½ Eggroll Jenkins â„¢

Well, is cheating forgivable in your eyes?? If so, contact him and tell him what you know and work things out from there.

If cheating is not forgivable to you, then tell him what you know and then let him know that the two of them can be together and that you will be filing divorce papers.

Mugu Guyman

You should go talk with your Family Support Group on base. They will help you work this out. You are not the first, and you won't be the last sadly. He may have even broken up with her already and she is just trying to get back at him. You should definitely try to work it out. It can be hard for a man out here sometimes, especially when a lady is paying him a lot of attention.

~Bella~

I would suggest you get into contact with him and confront him. Ask him what is going on and how he knows this woman. You really need to get all your facts together before you get worked up. If he comes out and admits to it, then I would, if I were in that situation, consider leaving him. Be strong.

mitr_hamesha

the first question that you should ask yourself, is why is that woman doing so??? may be because she wants to break your relationship... your life...
the second question you should be asking your guy... about the truth... then if nothing works out.. leave him.. dont really have to take tensions... you can sue him for the divorce benefits...

mustagme

My suggestion is at least wait until he gets back before hitting him with this. He has got enough on his plate being over there. In the meantime, you can cool off and ensure this is something you want to do.

Joe

When is he due back home? I'd confront him with the e-mails and the girls name and the info you have. But do it in a safe place. I hate to say this, but lately it seems like lots of guys (and women) are coming back home with some severe mental health issues and he could become enraged...at both you and this other woman. I'd tell her you are planning to confront him so she is prepared as well.
It is a difficult situation, but at the very least, He broke your trust by even reciprocating the e-mails with this person. If you have an unborn child, it makes it even more complicated.

D D

Well you have more than you to think about here, you have your child. I'd confront your husband and see what his side is. Then I'd also contact their chain of command to see what can be done to ensure she won't cause trouble again and why she did it in the first place. It may be she's crazy and there was never cheating. Or it may be that he did cheat. He'll get in trouble, but it's very rare to get kicked out for it. And it happens all the time, so it's something their bosses are used to dealing with (especially in deployments), and it's handled during working hours, so it's routine really. I'd say on his side he'll get extra duty, maybe some pay taken away for a little bit, but they won't kick him out. And that's a plus for you because you'll still be able to keep insurance for the child.
Try to keep your head up and focus on your baby. Remember that there's nothing wrong with you. It's just some men have no respect for boundaries and think they can get by with these things. IF he did it. But if she's going out of her way to email you and do those things, I'd say there's something going on.

Trust your guy instinct and move on from him. He won't get kicked out, so don't make that your reasoning for not pursuing this further.

Best of luck to ya!

sade

That has got to be such a horrible feeling! It is hard already having him gone and then that. What I would suggest is you need to turn to God. Don't hate Him for what your husband is doing to you. God lets us make our own choices so that we can prove ourselves in this life. He lets us keep our agency, for without it we wouldn't be free. Your husband is using his agency in a bad way. You need to write him and tell him what you know and how it has made you feel. Don't rant and rave, but simply explain how much it hurt. Then see what he says. Pray for strength and pray that your husband will have a change of heart. If he truly does, you'll have to forgive him or your marriage will never last. If he doesn't want to change, you have to let him go (for the benefit of your child) but you'll have to forgive him too, for without that you can't go on with your life.
Usually God is our only source of comfort in times like these. Make him a part of your life. Read his scripture. There are comforting verses in there and you can find many answers to your troubles. Pray. Go to church and talk to friends. It may sound too easy, but it is. Comfort can come from those simple things.
I hope things get better for you. God bless.

SMELLY CAT!

I'm so sorry to hear that. She sounds like a reall biatch to me! seriously who does that?!?! I think that you should get back at her and reply that you are feeling better and that she should get used to the smell..down there of your husbands. You don't need those two skanks, be tough and live a life with you soon to be beautiful baby.

FR3$HM3N

Ask your husband about it.. She could be making it all up..
DO NOT break up with him while he is in Iraq or going back to Iraq.

Alex V

Divorce.

Johnny Outlaw

sorry,....good luck

katechain_speed143

I'm a 13 year old girl..
I know my mom's having problems like that tOo...

But believe me that's just how the way boys are..
But they can't live without you.

Your husband loves you...
But he needs love..
Maybe your just busy on some things..

Or what if text the girl to go somewhere..
You pretend that your the husband..
when your husband is sleeping grab his phone and walk out..=))

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