Why doesnt my military husband trust me?

Lunar1984

He's going to be away for 8 months. I think it's just natural he will be a tad worried. As everyone else has said, I'm sure he's heard horror stories from other soldiers. I think you should talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel. Also, you can mention not only will you be away from him for 8 months, but he will be without you. You would never know what he did while he was over there.

Explain to him you love him and he has no need to worry. If you have any concerns voice them as well. Ask him why he feels he can't trust you.

Being deployed is not easy on couples. As I said it's perfectly normal for him to worry. He's probably going through a lot right now emotionally. Especially, if this is his first deployment. Just try to support him.

Thunderstruck

He's uneasy because of everything he's heard about other wives cheating on their husbands while they were away. Just reassure him that you'll be there for him and that you are a one man woman. There's not much else you can do but to be faithful.

Jennifer K

Oh the horror stories you hear when you are deployed!
"SPC Baker's wife is cheating on him"
"SSG Brown's wife is filing for divorce"
And on and on and on. He will hear horror stories about the other guys wives and girlfriends and it will cause him to have doubts about your marriage. When I was deployed to Afghanistan it was a never ending soap opera of cheating and divorce stories.
Confront him about his feeling that he can't trust you and re-assure him that you will be back at home supporting him the whole time he is gone. Make sure to send him care packages where ever he is and communicate regularly on the phone, email, or IM.

Richard H

Everyone is afraid of Jody taking their girl. I'd confront him about it and reassure him but he will still be unsure no matter what.

Freddie Mercury

tell him you overheard him. At the least, it will at least give you the chance to openly assure him that you wont cheat on him.

anon

It is not you, sweetie. There are so many horror stories going around military units: like the other poster said, "so-and-so's wife is cheating", or "so-and-so's wife is filing for divorce" or even "so-and-so has been here 5 months and just found out his wife is 2 months pregnant" (and no, he has not been home and she's not undergoing assistive reproduction). Just keep in contact with him as much as you can, have a plan to keep yourself so busy you won't have time to "get lonely" (school or some kind of lesson--if you've always wanted to learn to play, say, guitar, this is a great time to pick it up;work; volunteer; etc) and stay away from the "single wives"--and let your husband know what your plans are for his tour.

When I spent the year in Korea, separated from my husband for over 12 months, we both had a World of Warcraft account and would play together for hours on end on the weekends and we would talk on our Ventrilo server daily.

Falcon_01

I've been in Iraq about 16 months now and am finally returning home to my wife in under 2 weeks. We've stayed in constant contact, and that's really helped. It's only natural to be insecure and say stupid things you don't mean... especially if you've been cheated on and hurt in the past. He has to realize that you're special and will keep in touch with him and not grow distant.

As someone else said, no matter how silly or mundane what you're doing is, write about it to him!

Send care packages as often as you can afford... maybe every few weeks on top of regular letters/emails- as frequently as you can. It means the world. Send pictures of yourself with letters to give him something to focus on, it's real important too.

Hopefully he will be near an MWR- SPAWAR phones are only 4 cents a minute to use to call home. You should get to talk from time to time (hopefully). Be warned though- the connection is very frustrating as it can cut in and out, but even though you might lose patience over it, hearing "your" voice means the world too.

RemembertheUtah

He is just insecure and is shifting his insecurity onto you.

Your best bet is not to confront him just before he goes off to war. And the best way to reassure him is not to cheat. If you do not have a job or kids or anything else to occupy your time you might enroll in a class at college or in some other way be busy. If he knows you are occupying yourself with something constructive he will not worry so much.

a College Student

Men that are deloyed, especially overseas will feel very distant from you. They often come to the conclusion that this distance will cause you to cheat on him. Keep in mind, it will also be a scapegoat for HIM cheating on YOU.

Try to keep in touch often through email, pictures, letters, and calls to keep the relationship active.

Because sadly many military spouses end up cheating

lassengo

TELL HIM THAT YOU WILL NOT TAKE A BATH OR BRUSH YOUR TEETH TILL HE RETURNS.THAT WILL MAKE HIM TRUST YOU.

Bigt

cuz most military wifes or girlfriends cheat

Unforgiven

ah yes the insecure male, thid does nto matter if you never cheate d on him, he is just plain insecure, my husbands point of veiw was...if he always accused me of it, it would stop me from doing it, weird reverse psycgology. I took it that he never trusted me and found it annoying that he checke dmy TXT messages, my email accounts and wanted to know where I had been if I did not come home from my unit at a certain time. It made it harder when I got deployed, he was always accussing me of cheating on him, instead of "I miss you." it was "your cheating on me." oh the joy of an insecure male. its up to you wther you want to give him access to your cell phone to check for TXT messages and who you call or your email passwords to all your email accounts and myspac e or face book accounts. One thing tho, he may be so worried and so busy checking on you, he may not have time to cheat himself, but because he never trusted me, it made me doubt him sometimes to say the least.

I , a happy Bolshevik

Because he will cheat on you, there is a busty nurse where he will be deployed.

Desdamona

This says more about him then you..ie, in matters of war, men do not consider it "cheating" it's like a free pass, like well, a business trip.
Sorry, I know you think you got "the best" but you got an idiot, just like the rest of us. Understand that you will NEVER know if he cheats, unless you catch something, or see something.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: