Are AP's glorified babysitters?

Wellspring

No, they aren't "glorified"

Jack Putter

My husband calls himself a glorified babysitter. He's a Child and Adolescent Treatment Specialist in a residential treatment program. I worked at the same place he does for a couple years, and I proudly wore the same "title". Wouldn't have made any difference to us if someone had called us glorified babysitters if we had adopted. We love the kids we work with, and we'd have loved our adopted children. With or without the label. My self esteem isn't based on what others think of me.

The kids at my husband's work call him all kinds of fun names...he makes it a contest. He'll tell the kids, "I've heard that one before, you gotta be more original". So I'm going to say the same thing to you. Glorified babysitter isn't original enough. If you keep working at it, you just might hurt someone's feelings one day. Keep the faith. Once you've reached your goal, let us know if it helped you feel better. My guess is that you're going to hurt whether or not we do. I'm sorry about that.

Sofiakat

I realize that you meant this question to be baiting but I will answer anyhow.
It is always in the back of my mind that my children are "in trust" to me, even though many social workers and a judge decided that their mom was not the best person to care for them at the time of their adoption due to drug abuse and neglect and the failure to protect them from an abuser.
So does that make me a babysitter? Well if it means that I care for all their physical and mental needs and love them until they can one day be reunited with their mom when they turn 18, then the answer would be yes.
Why the need to put labels on relationships I will never understand.

Lady Rowan

My APs are not glorified babysitters. there's a difference between parenting and babysitting. a BIG one.

Jason R

Bison is the new red meat

A Tax Incentive

3 girls and 1 boy for me!

Yes, yes, of course we are. Good call! Now take your meds and try to get some sleep, the therapist will be in very early to start your shock therapy treatment this morning.

GEE-GEE

So stupid. A babysitter watches kids for a few hours then gets to go home with no worries.

An adoptive parent is a real parent. We have our kids 24/7. We are with them for the good times, and the bad. We take care of them with unconditional love regardless of the situation. We have changed their diapers, feed them, wiped their butts, taken care of them when they are sick, pick them up when they fall, teach them how to walk, and talk, teach them their abc's and 123's. They are our lives, and we would do anything for them. I am sorry but I don't think any babysitter would do that.

I have a 5 year old son that my husband and I adopted at birth. He is OUR child. I just didn't give birth to him.

You are very offensive.

AdoreHim

This is one of the most insulting comments I have heard about APs and I have heard a lot. We are not babysitters. As your first answerer so wonderfully voiced it- we are REAL parents with REAL children. When I call myself a REAL parent I am not denying the motherhood or the personage of the birth mom at all. Why do people have to have such disrespect for those that cannot or chose not to have biological children. We have just as much right to children, as those that carry their children for 9 months. Ask me if I felt that my APs were just babysitters. They would say, no, and I would no, they are my REAL parents. Ask the 2 precious children that my hubby and I adopted who their parents are , and they would say us. I am very grateful for the 3 birth moms that loved us enough to chose life, and place us for adoption, even though that must have been very hard to do. By the way, we have kept in contact somewhat with our son's birth mom, and they have been re-united and she has never called us babysitters for her son. I feel very sorry for people like you, that feel the need to insult, and make fun of something so important as family.

Pip

No they raise children,they don't get paid babysitter rates *shock, horror*, they are 'there' for their children.

My son's aparents are real parents just the same as I am my son's real mother. Only difference is they raised him I didn't but we are making our own history.

Becca

If I am a babysitter then where the heck is my check??

Erin L

NO! I'd like to echo everything Kazi said and also add . . . Ask my daughter if SHE feels like I'm just any other caregiver she's ever had. I'm MOMMY to her.

Sam

Nope.

Tonia

No... they're parents.

lovemysexyman

It is so sad to see all your questions. I am guessing that you are the birth mother who now wants 'your' child back. How could you think the things you do? I am a biological mother to 3 and an adopted mother of 1. But all 4 of my kids are MY kids. I love all 4 equally. I am totally dedicated to ALL my kids. I would be willing to give up any body parts my 4 kids might need. I would risk my life to save any one of my 4 kids. I can't imagine my life without my 4 kids. I wouldn't want my life to be absent of any 1 of my kids. They all mean the world to me.
My adopted daughter we've had with us since birth. We were not seeking to adopt any kids. We decided long ago to stop having kids. But if I knew then what my life would be like with our daughter, I would do it all over again. We've had a rough time with her (too small of a house for 3 kids let alone 4, not enough money to afford her much, having to deal with family members who didn't support our decision to have another child, trying to get her help for the problems she has- possibly due to her moms drug habit during pregnancy) but I would never give that up if it meant not having our daughter. Even my kids love her and treat her as they due each other (yes that does include fighting as well as being there for each other).
To think that people think a child is always better off with their birth parents is ridiculous. Maybe they are in some cases where the adopted parents are mean. But in most cases the child is living a much better life. You should be grateful that there are people out there who want to love a child instead of being tossed around in the system because the parent can't raise their own child.

Maureen S

Let us go down the list

Adoptive parents give - unconditional love
They adore their children
In sickness and in health
They hold their hands during babyhood, childhood, teen-hood and even up to adult hood.
They support their children in good times and in bad.
They are not paid, as a baby sitter is. However, they are paid with love returned to them from their children, also with unconditional love.

A glorified babysitter is not told "Mum I love you"
A glorified babysitter is not told "Thank you mum for being my mum"
A glorified babysitter is not hugged by the grandchildren and given cards with kisses and hugs all over the page.
I could go on - but why bother. You should get the picture by now.

Sadly, however, there are those Adoptive Parents who do not give unconditional love, and therefore those children grow up angry, betrayed and frustrated. Very sad.

Jennifer L

No.

7rin

No. The clue to the answer's in the question: Are adoptive PARENTS glorified babysitters?

JoHn S.

LOL...you can label me anything you want. What you think of me, doesn't matter to me, at all. The only person I am concerned about how they feel about me as a parent, is my child.

Opedial

Everything Kazi said except perhaps to tell you to P!ss off.

smarmy

I have thought for a while now that you have serious multiple personality issues. I do believe you are many people here and play both sides of the parent problem to keep the argument perpetuated.

You seem to have conflict stemming from being adopted, possibly abused by your adoptive parents in this personality. Yet you have another personality that vehemently hates first parents for abandoning you. I figure at least 5 maybe 6 of the people who frequent this site are in fact you. I think they are struggling to get their individual voices heard creating internal conflict and exhaustion to the body that they host. Eventually the stronger of them will win out and the rest will die. In the mean time you may want to have your over seer up your meds so you can get some rest.

Now wasn't that a lovely piece of fiction? Just like the crap you post. But like anything else once the seed is planted.... Your losing credibility on both sides and hopefully will soon be ignored all together.

So as not to violate TOS my answer to your question is no.

Kazi

1. Babysitters wouldn't be willing to die for the kids in their care.

2. Babysitters wouldn't give up everything they had to protect the children in their care.

3. Babysitters don't think of the children in their care morning, noon and night.

4. Babysitters don't get a second mortage on their home to put the children in their care through college.

5. Babysitters get paid.

Serenity71

Yawn... Heavy sigh...

I know where I stand in my relationship with my kids...and its not decided by someone on the internet who gets their thrills outta stirring up trouble.

They do call me mum...go figure, pretty good title for a 'baby sitter'

Proud Nuna

You need to get some help..you are very disturbed...

monkeykitty83

No, adoptive parents are parents. Not the ONLY parents to the adoptee. But parents nonetheless.

â™¥â™¥Mum To Superkids is engagedâ™¥â™¥

I'm a baby sitter? Cr@p, I need a payrise.

Cam

No we are parents. The real deal.

tattooedgemini

i certainly am not a babysitter to my kids, biological or adopted. if i was i'd be getting paid $5 an hour per kid. do you think i should go after the birth mother for all those hours?

ladedamom

No, we are not. We are REAL parents to REAL children. This question is just offensive.

operalover

I am sure you knew from the get-go that you were going to be in hot water by asking this nonsense question. But I'll answer it anyways to make the 2 points worth the while...No, we are not babysitters! As a matter of fact, in my case, we decided to adopt instead of having children thru birth, in other words, we are a fertile couple. Many children need loving homes and a family that they'll feel part of. That was our main motivation in adopting, so we did. We wouldn't do it differently. When my daughter's first mom and dad come over to visit (usually 4 to 6 times a month) as soon as she cries, they handle her to me. When she is fuzzy, needs diaper change, has boogers all over her nose or even needs to be feed... they handle her to me. They do not even attempt in soothing her or to meet her needs. They enjoy the fun part...to play with her and take pictures, but when it comes to the PARENT role....they don't want to be part of it at all. So honestly, do you think that I deserve the title "babysitter" instead of "mom" just because I did not carry her in my womb for 9 months. What about the countless and sleepless nights comforting her when she is sick or restless? What about the never ending trips to the store to buy organic produce to make for her healthy fresh meals? What about the lifelong commitments that I have to be there for her, love her, protect her, provide for her, teach her, guide her, nurture her, care for her and everything else that a parent do on a daily basis? Perhaps you have, but I've never met a babysitter that has done all that 24/7 on or off the job. Not even her natural parents have the intention or are willing to do so. So why should I be punish or bullied for loving her unconditionally with all my being...and yes I birthed her...she was born from my heart. Since the first time I had her in my arms ...we have been inseparable. She is my daughter, period. I am forever hers...it does not matter whatever term she'll use to call me or how others will label me, because the bottom line is that I am a mother to her. What matters to me is that she is loved, safe and well taken care of... and that we have, we are and we will continue providing for her a positive and healthy childhood. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

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