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Do adopted children love their adoptive parents?
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Do adopted children love their adoptive parents?

If someone was to adopt a child as a toddler say 4-6, would the child being well away that you are not the biological father/mother still develop a bond with the parent?


Mazaradi Man
Yes. I was adopted when I was 5. I love my parents.

Some do and some don't. It has as much to do with the individual personality of the child, the match of his/her personality with the family, and the way he/she is treated in the home... and -- very important -- the way adoption is discussed and treated by ALL the adults involved.

Nobody has any more ability to predict that than they do to predict the end of the world... or the winning lottery numbers -- anyone can take a guess (and some people will 'hit' on the right answer just by chance) but that bond (or lack of it) is just as individual as each person.

My best friend was adopted at age 5 into a family that lived up the street from me. I was adopted as an infant. SHE is close to her a-parents and family and loves them dearly (In fact, *I* love them dearly, too). I do not have any bond with my a-parents and do not love them. I have some bittersweet, almost-fond memories of my childhood but I was abused in my home and my a-parents were my abusers. They are no longer allowed into my life by my choice.

You can't make a child -- or anyone -- love you but you can do MANY things that will make it more likely that they can (i.e. be honest, be kind, affirm their feelings (even if you don't agree) talk openly about their adoption and first family, even if it makes you uncomfortable, etc.). You could also, as my a-parents did, make it almost impossible to love you (i.e. abuse, neglect, condemn, compare, belittle, insult, lie, withhold affection as well as material things, etc.) or trust you, for that matter.

Nobody can force a bond. Nobody can force, or even expect, love. The best one can do is make it as easy as possible to love himself/herself and GIVE all the love and affection and honesty to his/her child (or, again, anyone) that they will allow and accept.

Usual they do, my friend is adopitived and she loves her parents

Lady Rowan
i dont see why not.

You know why I love my parents?
Not because they made me, but because they are there for me, for better or for worse, to push me forward, to dry my tears and let me know everythings ok.
My friend who is adopted has parents who do this for her. Her bio mother gave her up wayyy ages ago...but she still has a strong bond with her a mum. They are both musicians, they like the same things, they love each other soo much...

Love is not a specific thing. You can love anyone, it doesn't have to be specifically reserved for those who share your genes.

The kids know who raised them. I am adopted. I was adopted when I was 1.

Yes, our oldest daughter didn't come to be a part of our family until she was a teenager. We love her, she loves us. It's pretty nifty all the way around. : )

Stop the Hate Love instead
The majority of adoptees even those who have issues with being adopted do love the parents that adopted then generally regardless of how old they were when they were adopted. The bond may take longer if the child is older (or it could happen quickly just like with someone you just hit it off with straightaway) but it could also take longer if the kids is young things like this cant be rushed or forced at least they shouldn’t be.

A person can develop a bond with anyone regardless of their age. Think of a friend one might meet later in life. I know two women who are extremely close you would think that they have known each other for years but they’ve only known each other for over 2 years now.

A person does not have to be genetically related to someone to love them. In fact a person does not have to love someone who is genetically related to them.

Any child adopted should know they are adopted, so they should always know that this are their parents but are not their biological parents.

some do, just like regular parents.

YES!!! I myself was adopted, along with my brother who was adopted when he was 5. Love is a powerful thing, and telling the child that they were adopted (asked or not) is a smart thing to do. If they would happen to discover the adoption from another source, the relationship would become very sticky. Telling them up front saves you from the trust factor that might arise if they aren't informed while they are young. But while telling them, always keep in mind that there will be awkward questions that you need to answer honestly. Nothing brings an adoption relationship closer than the truth. Just keep it real, but remind them that the love is stronger or as strong as a natural born child. :)

I was adopted into a family when I was about 5, and I did.

Our daughter loves her parents and she is very special to us. From what I've seen in the last 40 yrs adopted children are no different in loving their parents as any other child.

Heather ~ Not a Perfect Mom ~
We adopted our son when he was 8. He loves us (I just read this question to him and he said yes) but he also loves his other family. And that is Okay since it should never be an us or them situation. He can love all of us.

Freckle Face
Dear Camboy8,

Some do and some don't, humans are variant in individuality.

I will say this, I believe most of the responsiblity of a child bonding with an adoptive parent depends exclusively on the parenting skills of the parent(s) involved.

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