Does anyone regret giving up their child for adoption?

Jaymie Rose

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Marc B

oh shiet son O_O

You've gots da boriens disease! It's an african ailment the people of africa inherited from the llama space ship that fell from the sky in 1901! They all watched as the mighty star fell from the sky and screached as the saw the horrid llama creature drooly on their toes singing gobble gobble gobble until the brave soul a kamarack through a spear at it. The llama grabed the spear in it mouth and set it down to have tea with the toad of llama's ville and the africans all died. O_O RUN! RISE OF THE LLAMA. ._.

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Joseph B

First of all...You're 16, and I assume he is too. You don't have any finances to be in order. You guys can't possibly have jobs that pay much more than minimum wage.

Do the right thing and give the baby up. You're child would never have to know it was adopted unless the adoptive parents wanted to tell him/her, and then it would be much later in life.

You sound reasonably intelligent for a 16 year old. At least you're considering adoption. You should definitely give the baby up. Make the right choice for you, and the baby. You will have no life to speak of as a 16 year old mother. You'll have to postpone college. Your baby's father will leave you. There are NO relationships that last forever at your age. There is a reason that older, wiser people are telling you to give the kid up. It's the right thing to do. For both you and the baby.

Keri Bear

Hello! I can imagine how you must feel. You seem like such a great girl that wants to do the right thing! It is very hard to raise a baby even when you are older. I have not given a baby up but have talked to many mothers who have. I think it is a given that is very hard. I think you have to decide what is good for you and the baby in the long run. The girls that decide to go with an "open" adoption have a very good experience. In an open adoption you are able to still see your baby and spend time with it. One mother I know just went to the baby she gave up graduation. She is very good friends and talks to the birthmother of her child weekly. In this case you are able to still be a part of their life but can still do the things that girls your age do.

My husband and I can't have kids. We are currently waiting for a baby to adopt. We are a strong Christian family and if you do decide to make this decision please let me know and I can let you talk to our adoption agency. They have counselors that can help you too.

I will be praying for you! God Bless You!

Keri

kerbearjo@yahoo.com

teamjacob97

Most young parents think they are ready for the physical and mental challenges of keeping the baby, even though they are not. Don't keep the baby to try to prove anything. You're life and the baby's life could be hurt deeply. Unless you are sure you have the money,strength, and support for the child, don't keep him/her. Putting the child up for adoption could make or break the baby's life. If he/she is put into a financially stable family, things could definitely work out. Make sure you know which family you are giving your child to. Also check if they are "good" people (if you know what I mean). You are worried about the feelings after giving your baby away right? Well, as long as you know who it is you are giving him/her to, and how they treat people, you should be fine. Good luck!

kat6693

My mom was adopted and I know that she know her mom was just doing the right thing for her. I think though that you should do, not whats right for you but what is right for your daughter. If you know that it is the right thing then (even though you might look back and wonder what would have happened if you kept her) the knowledge that it was the right thing for her it will over power everything else. After all this shouldn't be about whats right for you, it should be whats right for your daughter.

laynee27

i know several people that have open adoptions,all of them have said its the best thing they could have given thier children

missi

woww... that would be a tough choice. Its really good that you didnt go for an abortion(thank youâ™¥) I would say if you really feel strongly about something, then that would be the way to go, but otherwise, i would say and open adoption would be best, so you know the family and your daughter will know you too. Another option that would probably be best, if your parents are willing, ask them to help you with the financial part, and then when you are ready , you can go on your own. I wish you the best of luck

â™ª â™¥ â™ª â™¥ â™ª Simply me â™¥ â™ª â™¥ â™ª â™¥

Think it through very deeply. Can you really give her a good and loving home with all the things she will need? If the answer is yes, than keep her and FORGET what others tell you to do with your own child. However, if you feel you don't have what it takes to provide for her (good income, love, nurture, time..etc.) then you need to do what's best for her. You could do an open adoption which would allow you to still have communication with her. You could visit her and she can know that you are her mother. So you don't have to just give her away and never return. You just have to make sure that the family you choose is OK with that. Also, if you do adopt your baby, plz make sure to get to know the families that would be potential parents and pick the absolute best loving home. GL

Oh, forgot to mention that I've never really heard of a mom who didn't give their child up for adoption and then regreted not doing it. But i have definetly heard of moms who did it and regreted it. On the other hand, there's a ton of moms who did adopt since they knew it was best for their child and were very glad they did so.

pstockland

I've been there and I'm willing to talk with you and help you either way.
I was 16 yrs. old and had a baby boy. I did give him up for adoption and to this day I happy I did. He lives in Texas and married with 5 girls.
Even today he thanks me cause I knew I could not give him what he needed as a baby.
Back then it was a closed adoption, but today they do have open adoption. I went for many years wondering where my son was and if he was okay and healthy.
My son found me threw find a parent and to my surprise a letter came for me to tell me that my birth son was trying to get in touch with me. I couldn't hardly sleep.
He flew me down to Texas to visit for a week. I loved it and will keep doing it. He has come to Wisconsin many times to see my family and I.I never married the father so that was hard.

Then on the other hand I'm raising my Granddaughter that is 16 as of today. I have had custody of her since she was 3 months old. The bio-mom is not related to me. Our son was with a 14 year old girl when this all took place. She see's her bio-mom every month or more. She hardly ever see's her father. It's a shame and my 16 year old is hurting due to this.

So please look at all options. It's a big job and knew at 16 I could not do it. It's a 24/7 job weather a person wants it that way or not. Then look to see if someone can give your little girl a better life. If so, she come find you and make everything okay.
If you want to talk more just add me and I will responde to your info.
Good Luck my girl

birthmommyat16

im 16 and my daughter will be 5 months old in 2 days. i gave her up for adoption and it truly was the best thing. i met her family and i love them. i trust them 100% they love her more that anything especially since they couldn't have a child and had started losing hope. i still stand by my decision. it was best for my daughter. because she deserves everything in the world and i couldn't give all of that to her. but its an open adoption and as long as you get to know and trust the parents they wont stop involvement with you. (: good luck. i just want you to think of what would be better for your child. and im not going to lie i do miss her, but she is such a happy baby that i couldn't imagine them not being her parents.

leila

Sorry you are in such a bind. I had an abortion at 16 and only regretted that I put myself and my child into a position that I had to make that decision.. But I have talked to people who gave up their children as well ones that kept them both groups had some regrets. And my thoughts are this: it's not really about you and your feelings it's about what is best for the child. As the mother you have to do what is best- even if it's hard. And usually the harder thing is the best thing. Waht is best?
A 16 year old mother who is unsure or a family that desperatly wants her, has planned for her both emotionally and financially? You may want to consider an open adoption- where YOU pick the parents and maintain as much contact and openess as both families want. So you may want a family who will tell the child what a great person you were and how selfless and mature you were. A family that will send you pictures or let you come to birthday parties. At least speak to a private agency that handles private adoptions and find out what your options are in your area. If you then choose not to at least you will be informed enough to explain this to your parents. Most adoptees do not hate their birth mothers, but thank them for making the right choice. good luck hon, I wish you the best.

JosieW

no you won't if you find the right family for the baby
i gave my daughter up and i know she is safe and well cared for i see her once in a while and she is going to be 7 in august i have made a good decision but you should go to an agency that will help you in finding the loving and caring family for your daughter you can have an open adoption that means that you can talk to the family about her if you want and the family you pick. plus you are only 16 years old you wont get to hang out with your friends party you will be stuck indoors with your baby and be wishing you could go out with friends if you want more advice from me im me at josiewhitney97@yahoo.com or email me i can give you more help if you would like the help

Oceanis

Those who are telling you to consider adoption are probably afraid that you are "ruining your life", being only 16 that it will be the end of your education and thus you will never be able to earn enough money to have a good life.

But it is possible to continue with education, if you have someone you trust to help with baby care. This doesn't mean that you dump the baby on your parents and continue to live out your childhood days. That may be what your parents are afraid of, having to raise another child. The responsibility will be yours. But you will need help from a trusted source.

You may be able to study at home to finish your high school education. Or you may get a GED. But if you feel a bond to the baby, and your maternal instincts are on, then do not give up the baby.

The teenage years are not the ideal time to become a parent in our society. But that certainly doesn't mean you can't be a good mother and raise a happy baby. Just educate yourself as much as you can about childhood development, read all the books, and know that it will be hard but that many have gone before you and accomplished it.

shirley ann

yes you will for my point of view cuz i will never forgive my birth mother cuz its hard to see her if i see her i never seen her orheard her since i was born. I would never do what my mother did to me even my parents ask me to do it.sorry but thats my opinion and yes you will regret it i promise you will

magic pointe shoes

Yes, it started as regret that I got pregnant unexpectedly. But then I couldn't regret my son though. So then I regretted my actions but not him. But then supposedly relinquishment was the best choice (notice those who have recently relinquished their children cling to that), I couldn't regret having to relinquish. Then I realized how much was not explained properly to me, how much was not said so I wouldn't consider my options, and the things that were said were things to bring doubt to my own abilities. I regretted not putting more effort into learning my choices, but not regretting which family I chose for him.

I couldn't for the longest time regret relinquishing my son because it felt like I was dismissing his existence in the life he has now which he likely appreciates.

But now, every fiber of my body knows how much was done wrong at that period of my life. I know now how great of a mother I am, and how great a father my children that we are raising have. There was no reason other than being young and pregnant unexpectedly that warrented our son from being banished from our families.

Anyway, check out the girlmom website. I've heard good things about it.

Lori A

The next time someone tells you to put your child up for adoption ask them how they fared when they did it. If they haven't done it, walk away. Don't' even talk to them because they have no idea what they are saying. They have no experience, only opinions. Opinions of others are why so many of us surrendered our children.

I regret it every day, and I have been in a successful reunion for 9 years. my daughter is 36 and I still can't find adequate enough words to describe the pain. I became a drunk, I ruined relationships, I was an empty shell for 28 years. You have the same concerns that went through my head, you won't make it. Keep your baby.

Fuaite le fuil, gaolta go deo

Keep her. Yes, it will be hard but as the saying goes "nothing worth having comes easy"; same goes for parenting. People might judge you because you're a young mother but you have to brush it off. Holding your baby in your arms is such a surreal and euphoric feeling. She'll love you more if you make the effort to raise her. I can never understand the belief that your child is better off with strangers, she's bonded to you and she only needs you.

Princess Cherbs

Dont do it.
Just because you are pregnant, no one has the right to tell you what to do. Obviously by the way you sound, you want to keep the baby. So do it. Dont let anyone bully you into giving the baby up.
If you are preggers, you should mother your child. I believe adoption should only be used in extreme cases, whereas children cannot be cared for properly. Please, take care of your child. We dont need more children in foster care in this world!

kidmindi

Keep her. Being young is temporary. There is financial help available.

You will always regret it if you put her up for adoption. It is obvious from your question that you are only considering it because other people have told you to. It won't be those people who hurt from your decision. It will be you and your daughter.

ETA: Open adoptions are NOT legally enforcable anywhere. The adoptive parents can shut the door ANYTIME they want and sadly they often do.

wafer

I had my baby girl on new years day 2009 when I was 18. Adoption and abortion are two things I considered.
What it came down to was that I knew if I had an abortion I would regret it every day of my life and always feel guilty.
And I knew if I gave her up for adoption that I would regret it every day of my life, that I would think about her everyday of my life, I would always wonder if she was safe, if she was loved, fed, dressed well, schooled well, hugged and kissed and where she was.
But I also knew that if I kept her for myself, and raised her myself, that I would never never never regret keeping her. And thats all it was for me.
It has being hard, and sometimes I do regret not being sensible, and I regret getting pregnant but I dont regret my daughter! If that makes sense?
If you want to email you, go ahead!

Miss Squeaks.

You should keep her. You'll regret giving her up. :(

answer mine http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApBIgSrXdF0hoQvSseBsV7jsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090519134455AA4hSO3 lol

Sunny

My mother is 68 and has never gotten over it.

grapesgum

All of the people around you do not have a clue about losing a child. Ignore them and follow your heart.

All of the mothers I know who gave their babies away mourned the loss their entire lives. It destroyed the life of my daughter's best friend. She was promised an open adoption by a couple and has not seen her son since she gave him to them at the hospital.

Adoption is nothing but a life of heartbreak. Open adoption is nothing more than a scam to get innocent people to give their beloved babies away. Open adoption is still adoption with all of the loss and pain. A few letters and pictures (if you are lucky enough to not have the adoption closed on you) is poor medicine for a broken heart because you cannot hold and comfort your baby who needs you above anyone.

What's best for her is YOU - her one and only mother.

Robby

don't do it you will always wonder if he's good, healthy, nice ho he's grown up...

LinnyG

You will regret it for the rest of your life. Listen to NO ONE here except for other first Moms and adoptees. Adoptive parents here only want your baby. DO NOT EMAIL THEM.

Please do NOT give your child up for adoption. The pain will last an entire lifetime, for you and YOUR BABY.

Please read the facts about adoption and how it will more than likely affect YOUR BABY and YOU. Your child deserves to be loved and raised by YOU. Adoption does NOT guarantee a better life, only a different one.

Also, do NOT contact anyone who has asked you to, or who has emailed you already. They are greedy vultures who want to make money off your baby, or want that baby for themselves.

Here are some links that can help you.

http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index....

http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVn...
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

ps, to all the greedy pap's who are trying to get her to email you, I have reported you. This girl is a minor, and what you are doing is against Y!A tos. I hope everyone reports these creeps.

snowwillow20

Yes, I regret it and have for 37 years. You don't want to give her up, you say it all in your post. You can do it, don't let anyone tell you that you can't. Give you and your boyfriend and your baby a chance to be a family. Find out what services are available so you can finish school.
When I got pregnant, unwed mother was a dirty word. A shameful secret to sweep under the rug. I was not strong enough to stand up to a society that deemed me a bad person.
I hope that in the last 37 years that being unwed and pregnant is not the stigma it once was.
I will pray that you keep strong and keep your baby.
Giving a baby up to adoption is a hurt that never heals. I never got over it.

life is like the ocean

I gave up my child for adoption. I went against the feelings in my heart and my gut, and instead listened to all the people advising me.
I have regretted the decision from the moment I made it. You will too. I can guarantee it. You clearly want your baby, and everyone is talking you out of it! Do not listen to them. They are not going to suffer the loss, YOU will. Your baby will.

What is best for your baby is YOU. Cut and dry. YOU. Your baby does not want strangers. She wants you. And you are correct in being worried that the family she gets may be the wrong people. My daughter was adopted by abusers. She would've fared much better with me. These people passed a homestudy, they were supposed to be so much better than me! They were alcoholics and they raised my daughter in a manner I would not wish on anyone.

People suggesting open adoptions....they are a complete fabrication made up by the industry to get pregnant girls to sign over their babies. Open adoptions rarely are honored by adoptive parents, and they are not legally enforceable.

All the same people in your life, that are giving you the pro-adoption advise, will end up loving your baby, and be so happy that you chose to keep her.

Adoption is brutal. It is inhumane for the natural mom and baby. It will scar you both forever. Do not do it. Keep your baby!

p.s. I also reported the greedy people trying to prey on this young pregnant woman and her unborn child. That is so sickening that you people will stop at nothing to get someone elses baby.

Jessie

This is your choice and yours alone. Don't let friends and family try to force you into something you don't want to do especially when it's this big of a deal! My family pushed me to get an abortion and I didn't, then they tried to get me to put my baby up for adoption and again I didn't. He's now 5 months old and the love of my life. It's not always easy, it's really really hard. But it's the most rewarding thing you'll ever go thru and there's lots of help out there. Congrats and regardless of your decision good luck.

parenting is an option II

You are 16, Congrats on the baby. First as a teen mom (at the age of 18) You need to realize babies don't cost as much as people might make them seem. Resale shops make it easy to afford anything from clothes to furniture. And of course you always will have people that will give you their children's old clothes. Some things are a one time expense like bottles, bibs, swings, strollers, infant/toddler car seat.

You and the father are together. Apartments can be affordable if you look in the right spots. But then again you can apply for section 8 housing, food stamps, TANF, Medicaid, child care, and WIC. They will help you greatly afford your baby. Some Medicaid programs have it if you complete their parenting classes you will receive a free car seat for the baby.

There is nothing wrong accepting help. You know you want your baby and guess what your baby wants you to! If you are ready to parent then don't let anybody try and talk you out of it. Know that you are entitled to help to keep and support your baby.

AND BLOCK YOUR EMAIL BECAUSE PEOPLE ON HERE WILL EMAIL WANTING TO ADOPT YOUR BABY! I ALREADY HAVE GOTTEN ONE EMAIL LIKE THAT.

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