How many adoptive parents really try to breastfeed?

School Nurse

The only place I've ever heard of adoptive mothers breastfeeding is here on this forum. Nobody on this forum has actually said that they breastfed their adoptive babies and only "outsiders" from breast feeding organizations have defended it. It is probably a myth but maybe not. If it EVER happens, I'd say it is EXTREMELY rare.

I think it is just something that people who sling mud at adoptive parents say to get themselves and others into an uproar. I've never know or heard of a person IRL who breastfed an adoptive baby.
I agree about the hormones that would have to be taken. It'd be detrimental to both the mom and the baby.

webcop33

Don't think a mother can lactate at free will. They only lactate after pregnancy.

Not my fault either

so few, almost non-existent

Neil

I'm not an adoptive parent, and I've never breastfed anyone. But I do know women who have, without taking any hormones.

Jennifer L

I don't know of anyone who breastfed their adopted children. The closest situation that I know of personally involved a former co-worker whose sister was a surrogate mother for her. The co-worker used Reglan (metoclopramide) to induce lactation and breast fed as a supplement. She never was able to produce enough milk to be the sole source of nutrition.

But back to the question of general nursing, yes, a baby will prefer his/her biological mother's milk to that of another woman. That's been documented and proven. But for centuries, women nursed other women's babies. Some women who have successfully nursed can begin lactating again with only a little stimulation, no hormones needed.. It's a survival mechanism. So that way back in primitive times, if a nursing mother died, another woman could feed the child, even if she had no children nursing at the time. Pretty amazing what the human body is capable of.

So nutritionally, provided that the woman who is nursing is taking care of herself, the milk would not be harmful to the child. The issue that bothers many on this forum is, rather, what this does to a child emotionally. I think there is a different connotation between being a wet nurse in the 1400's and an adoptive parent trying to simulate the nursing experience.

Big Daddy R

Well it is so popular that there was an article in either parenting or parents magazine last summer (how to do it the benefits cons etc)
We did not but i can see where someone would do it. I don't agree with taking drugs to help produce milk. YOu can just pump your breast for a few months before the adoption if you have that kind of time and your body will produce.
There is actually benefits for the child they still get the antibodies (maybe not the same they would get from their mom) they have reduced risk of sids and all the other benefits that come breast feeding

Also before formula people used wet nurses ( a woman who lacted came and fed your kids if you could not breastfeed for what ever reason)

Hello

only the desperate ones!

almost human

I try not to belittle adoptive parents because I think most of them have good intentions. But this is one of those areas that seem to have everything to do with the parent and nothing to do with the child.

Here is what I wrote on a previous answer - plenty of thumbs down - but that's fine with me. I really abhor when a selfish act is promoted as selfless, and that is what this is.

***********

One of the most arresting photos I have ever seen was on the cover of Utne Reader. It was of an Andean woman nursing a baby sheep. It was hauntingly beautiful.

However, the Andean woman was already lactating. She didn't need to be hormonally induced, and she was merely sharing her bounty with a creature whose life was in peril.

In the adoptive parent case where there is no life in peril, what is the purpose of artificially inducing lactation? The "need" here is all the adult woman's.

It is not the act of breastfeeding a child not your own which disturbs me. It is the act of replicating a biological connection which is fiction. To begin a lifelong relationship with deception is sad, and to step into the role of substitution is tragic.

In all things adoption, I feel the responsible - and therefore beautiful - thing to do, is to consider the profundity of our actions as a matter of conscience. Because HONESTY takes love and is, ultimately, the tie that binds beyond biology.

***********
Is the adoptive child going to perish if given formula? No. Does it REALLY have anything to do with nutrition? I seriously doubt it, especially if it is accomplished through ingesting hormones. (and without the hormones of childbirth, that colostrum isn't even going to kick in) Like Tish said, an adoptive mother attempting to produce milk is NOT a wet nurse: a wet nurse is like the Andean woman - naturally producing milk and sharing her bounty. What reasons are there for the manual manipulation to stimulate a poor production of milk? Or is it more about simulating physical dependency? Or is it a desperate act of consolation for not being able to give birth? Nursing is an erotic physical act. Attempts to co-opt this experience by artificial means is perverse.

I hope the numbers of women doing this is small, because it's truly pathetic.

JB's Mom

Actually, breastmilk is not made "specifically" for the child. In other countries there are commonly wet nurses who breastfeed several children of different mothers. What is important in the breastmilk is the antibodies that are made against pathogens the baby may come into contact with. As a mother comes into contact with different pathogens, different antibodies are made and passed into the milk to the baby, providing extra immunity to a baby's immature immune system. So actually, even an adoptive mother can make "tailor made" breastmilk for her adopted child.
I think you do not hear of it happening often because it is very difficult to start lactating when you have not had a baby recently. You have to pump regulary (even waking yourself up several times a night). You would have to be exceedingly committed to breastfeeding.
And BTW, I actually think it would be beneficial for a baby to drink the breastmilk of several different mothers (provided you know and trust them of course - no drug use, etc) because then your baby gets the antibodies from every bug that you've encountered as well as the ones they've encountered.
[edit]Oh, and incidentally, breastmilk will be healthy whether the mother lactated naturally or not. Inducing lactation does not necessarily mean taking herbs or drugs. You can do it with simple nipple stimulation. I challenge anyone to tell me that is not natural. It doesn't even necessarily need to involve pumping. You just need a way to stimulate the nipple enough on a regular basis, that will produce natural hormones.

Opedial

I know many adoptive parents through my classes on adoption, and most think ewww. It just feels like trying to replicate something not natural. Or they are trying to save money on formula.

wholelottacats

I know of a few women, personally, who have done it. I think the percentage is fairly small, but I couldn't find any statistics.

What I did find, actually, was more disturbing - a paper tauting breastfeeding as a way to bond with your abused or institutionalized adopted child. So it's not even just for babies? Doesn't that cross a crazy, crazy line?

I understand that the women who have done it are looking for a way to bond and want that experience - but IMHO, you just need to accept the fact that you're adopting - you're not giving birth, you're not going to be breastfeeding. It feels like "pretending" to me. Quote the benefits of breastfeeding all you want, they are mostly doing it for themselves. And there are risks in the way of production issues - stimulating lactation enough to produce enough to nourish them. Most have to supplement with formula anyway.

Personally, when I brought my son home, I tried to be conscious of the fact that I was, quite literally, a complete stranger to him. During a few of those late night feedings, I did think about amoms who breastfeed. I would have felt like I was completely invading his personal space. It may seem silly, but for those first several weeks I would tell him what I was going to do before I did it. "I'm going to change your diaper now" kind of thing. Yes, he was a baby, and had no idea what I was saying - but we were both getting to know each other, know each other's smell. I couldn't imagine having foisted such an intimate act as breastfeeding on him - when I know full well that for a while I was just "that blurry face who changes the diapers." (Many months later, it's a completely different story - I'm just talking about in those first few days and early weeks).

kidmindi

I breastfed all 5 of my bio children and bottle fed my adopted daughter. I have heard of amoms nursing their a adopted child, but I would think that the hormones needed to induce lactation would not be good for a baby.

Plus honestly, I personally would not feel comfortable nursing a baby I didn't give birth to. Maybe it would be different if I had had my daughter from birth (I got her when she was 8 mos old) but I doubt it.

lol21t

If you can do it, do it for the health reasons. Breastfed babies are typically healthier than formula babies. The healthiest are those breast fed until age 2 or so.

Most women can't lactate until after they give birth, so unless they had a stillborn or just had their own child/children, I'm not sure about the technicalities of lactation.

EDIT: I can't imagine that hormones that you put into your body would be healthy for the breast milk for your child.

Heather ~ Not a Perfect Mom ~

I don't agree with it. I don't see how it can be healthy when you need to take medication to produce breast milk.

When I had my oldest, he was born 6 weeks early and I was unable to produce breast milk. I was given the option of taking medication, but after consulting with the Doctor, he agreed that they did not know what effects the medication could have in the long run.

I think that some AP's look at it as a way to bond with their adopted child, but I can think of alot of other ways to bond without breast feeding. And I thought the colostrum was the healthiest part of breast feeding. Taking hormones does not produce this.

maybeiknowtheanswer

I can't speak from personal experience, but I do know a thing or two about breast milk. Breast milk is the same from one woman to the next - no matter what the genetic make-up. The only thing that can change it is what you ingest - for example drinking alcohol and breastfeeding is a no-no.
In fact, there are services available where you can buy another woman's breast milk for your baby - since for many mothers, breastfeeding might just not be an option they can provide for their baby. Also, have you heard of the term wet-nurse? Back in the day rich people would never breastfeed their own children, and hired a lactating woman to do it for them - that's what a wet nurse is.
For newborn babies, breast milk can give them a lot of health advantages opposed to formula. But to each their own.

By the way - do you eat any sort of dairy? Because then you're eating the breast milk of an entirely different species. And people think that's okay.

Just some food for thought:)

Freckle Face

ap here and never ever breastfed my children through adoption. It just doesn't seem right.

Possum

As an adoptee - I would have freaked if I found out that my a-mum breast fed me.
ICK.
Most AP's that do it - do it for their own desires - but say it's for the child's well being.
I was a bottle fed child - and I have had fantastic health my entire life.

Stevie

I know a woman who had a stillborn child and adopted a few days later. The breast milk was still good and she breast fed the child for the 1st year or so.
Its not harmful to the child as long as the woman isnt taking medications or drinking/smoking/etc.
Breast feeding other people's children goes back very far in history. Women would die during childbirth and someone needed to care for the child so another woman in the village/town/community who had viable breast milk would feed the child as if it were their own.

The only time it wouldnt really be beneficial to try to breast feed your adopted child is if you didnt have the hormone in your system making you produce breast milk and you tried to feed anyway.

Erin L

I'm an adoptive parent. I never attempted to breast feed and I've never known anyone irl or online who has breastfed their adopted child. A lot of people inquire about it and don't end up doing it. Don't get me wrong. I know that it is done, but I don't think as often as the hypeThere was a GREAT thread at another group I'm on about whether adoptive parents should tell the natural mother that it's being done and whether or not the natural mother should have a say. Hearing some natural mothers' perspectives really changed my own. I never did thhink about it as a thing to do to pretend your adopted child was born from you, just as a health decision like many others parents make for their child, good nutrition and good bonding for any mother/child, and thought it was neat that it was possible to do. Also, it CAN be done w/o hormones. Stimulation can bring on lactation. As far as breast milk from someone other than the natural mother, I don't know about the health benefits compared to natural mother's milk. It's been done throughout human history w/ wet nurses, etc., but of course now we have formula and don't have to. Anyway, after hearing a lot of natural mothers' perspectives, I have really thought a lot about the emotional impact for all involved. As in most things adoption, I think it's complex and there's no one definite answer, but I'd say in most cases it's not for the best.

ETA: Tish, as an adoptive parent, I think it would be GREAT for an adopted child to get the chance to be breastfed by his or her natural mother, at least long enough to get the benefits of colostrum. That doesn't bother me AT ALL, and I think it's horrible that mothers considering adoption are discouraged from breastfeeding.

Girzie

I really can't think why anyone would try except perhaps to bond with the child. But if you really really want to adopt, I would hope you would bond with and love that baby right away. Anyway, loads of people these days adopt older children who are way past the stage of breast feeding.

It certainly wouldn't be harmful. When our babies were small, my friend and I could leave our baby with the other and each could breast feed if necessary. Both children are fine and are now 30 years old....

Kelsey and Kendal's Mommy

I have my own child, and breastfed. But, Breast milk is proven to be best for baby(any baby). That is why in plenty of nicu's around the world used donated breast milk and colostrum to help that newborn. I donated some of my colostrum directly after my c section to help out any baby I could. I think it is all up to the parent, biological or not. Breast milk has been proven to be excellent in aiding a newborn through at least their first year of life, and any woman that hasn't breastfed won't know that, or even care.

myst1998

Okay... in response to another answer here,

Breast milk is NOT the same from one mother to another, it has a unique smell and whilst I was studying (Early Childhood Education) we came across a study that proved a baby will turn to a cloth with his/her own mother's breast milk on it over another cloth with a different mother's milk on it. This study was done to see if there was a difference and apparently there is. I don't have access to this study now but it makes sense.

Breast milk only has antibodies etc if the first 6 months... after that they lessen. To force your body to produce something that you are not producing naturally means there would be NO benefits for the baby... and the drugs you would have to take to encourage this would go straight through to the baby.

Wet nurses are women who are already lactating due to having given birth and are usually used in the first few weeks when breast milk is at its best.

As someone who is currently breastfeeding and a huge fan of breastfeeding, I have no issue with breastfeeding, donating milk or wet nurses where it is ABSOLUTELY necessary but not adoptive breastfeeding...this is usually done for the purpose of the adoptive mother and NOT the baby.

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