I'm 16 and pereganent, shoud I give up for adopation?

Flash_au

This will sound corny, but I think if you sit alone for a bit, some place you feel safe and can relax have a think and you will know the answer your self.

Dana

if you feel ready to take on the responsibility, and have a solid support system (your parents?), then go for it. If not, there are a lot of people who can't have kids that want them, who would love to have a child, and are ready for the effort it involves.

AdoptiveMama

Honestly sweetie, I say yes. I have a cousin who him and his girlfriend had a baby when they were 15. The decided to raise her, and while they have been doing an okay job...the Grandma's & Grandpa's have had to do alot for her. My cousin an his girlfriend didn't get to be a part of anything in school because they had a child to care for, and neither one of them ended up going to college because parenthood was staring them right in the face. By that time they weren't together any more and they were "sharing" their daughter every other week and weekends.

Parenthood is difficult, and even if your family is supportive of you and willing to help, that child will be with you for the rest of your life, and be your responsibility.

Now if you are willing to put your life on hold to be a mommy, I believe you would be the best mommy in the world for your baby. But if you have ambitions of sports, theater, or any other extra activities in school....and then college, think about putting the baby into an adoptive home who maybe cannot have children of their own, but desperately want children to love and raise.

Good Luck

magic pointe shoes

Maybe.

Picking an agency or an adoption facilitator is a bit tricky. Adoption is a big business and it's easy for those running those businesses to make sure to sway the odds that you will relinquish instead of honoring the ethical obligation to make sure you are fully informed and not coerced.

Safeguarding the rights and well being of birthparents in the adoption process. This link discusses the the changes that those that facilitate the adoption process should make in order to honor that ethical obligation. It is in everyone's best interest if you find an agency or facilitator that meets the qualities in this pdf.
http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publications/2007_01_Birthparent_Study_All.pdf

Also a checklist for what to look for in an ethical agency.
http://www.openadoption.org/bbetzen/checklst.htm

This is a website written by a birthmother to help give information about open adoption in a non-biased way.
http://www.openadoptioninsight.org/

Finding the resources to support an open adoption
http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/

How to find good counseling
http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/index.php/weblogs/finding-a-decent-therapist
http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/index.php/weblogs/finding-a-decent-therapist-part-two

As for preparing for the placement of your child...

I'm not entirely sure there is a good way to prepare. I think if I had to do it all over again, I would honor the process of deciding between adoption and parenting better. Part of the problems I have had in the years since relinquishment is coming to terms with not being my own advocate. Not only did I relinquish my child, I relinquished my judgment to other people's advice for fear of either being too needy, or out of fear of making the situation worse.

So with that, I say honor the process. You cannot decide that you will relinquish your baby for adoption until after birth. You can make an adoption plan though. You can look at profiles and possibly pre-match with a potential adoptive family. Keep in mind that this is just a plan, and the potential adoptive family is just that... potential. It is so easy to let yourself think of your baby as theirs instead of yours. It is so easy for potential adoptive parents to think of your baby as theirs and not yours. Be kind to everyone involved and not let that assumption be made. This is your baby until the termination of parental rights is signed. They should not accompany you to doctor's appointments. They should not be at the birth because of how easy it is lose sight of the huge choice you have to make after the baby is born. If you still choose adoption, they will have a lifetime to bond with your child.

If you were to choose adoption after your baby is born, realize that every moment of the time you have with your baby will be forever etched in your memory. Hold your baby. Take the time to absorb that time in. While some say the thought of looking or holding will make the separation hurt more, the lack of holding or looking hurts way more in the years to come.

Also, look at all your options. You need a parenting plan in place. You cannot make an informed decision without know all of your options. In fact, the pressure placed on you to relinquish without a parenting plan is that much worse.

Discussion boards to help find resources and get more information about your choices.
http://www.singlepregnancy.com/
http://www.girl-mom.com/

Also, take many pictures of you pregnant and with your baby after birth.

Carmen

Hi,
Do you feel unready to become a parent? Think through all the pros and cons of keeping the baby..and then if you decide you don't want your life to change that dramatically at this age then put the baby up for adoption. I know from experience, when you have a baby as a young teenager you feel like you don't fit in with your friends anymore, you become isolated and it is really hard.. but do you have a good support team? What do your parents think of all of this?
Please let me know what you decide to do.. and good luck with everything.

pez388

Well ask yourself do you want to work double shifts to put food on the table and cloths on your childs back. Can you support the kid and care for it. It would be tough at 16 to do this and I dont know you so I cant really speak nor have I been in a situation like that but Ive had friends who have. When you give it to adoption it has a better likely hood in these situations to have a better life, but I dont know you like I said so I can not say if you should or shouldnt that is up to you. Just think what would be better for the kid and better for you as well.

GUERA33

do what you think is best for you and your unborn child

Tanya

You should do whatever you feel comfortable doing. If you have support and you want to keep the baby then do it. Adoption can be a hard thing to deal with. You need to look at all your options. If you did decide on adoption, then you can have an open adoption or a closed adoption. An open adoption is where you still have contact with the child. Well depending on your comfort level and the family's comfort level. That could mean exchanging pictures, phone calls or even visits. A closed adoption means you hand over the baby and that is it. If you keep the baby, you could have some hard times in your future, but it would be worth it. I am 22 with a 7 month old baby girl. I wondered the same question that you asked. I decided to keep her. My daughter's father is not in the picture but he's starting to come around. Even if he never does come around, there will always be enough positive male figures in her life. Just make sure you are completely comfortable with the decision you make. Also do not let anyone pressure you into something that you will regret in the future. I wish you the best in whatever avenue that you decide to follow.

momof3boys

it is all up to you. Can you raise the baby? Do you have a support system? Could you handle having someone else raise the baby? There are a lot of questions you have to ask yourself. Some people just feel their babies will have a better life somewhere else but others just can't live with knowing they have a child out in the world they can't see. Just a note though even if the father isn't in the picture he still has to sign off on the adoption or it wouldn't be legal.

sharkinthewater

That is a very big decision. You will need to decide whether you can truly care for a child both financially and emotionally at this stage in your life. You should talk to a counselor to help make this decision.

ZsaZsa Galore

Each person is different & only you can decide. I think giving your child up for adoption is a mature & brave decision. Since you are young & most likely in High School, have you talked with your family, minister, school counselor, or family doctor? You need support & direction at this time. There are also lawyers that work with families looking to adopt that will assist you in prenatal visits & delivery costs too. Good luck in your decision, I know the idea of adoption is difficult but, it is the ultimate in selflessness.

Caring Mum

Look deep in your heart and you will know what to do.
These days even if you have no family support there are alot of agencies that help single mum's.
Don't be pressured either way...
Whatever your decision is people will be their to support you...(adoption agencies have social workers and so do maternity wards).
I will say a prayer for you

roxiecat4200

That is a decision that you need to make. If you keep the baby it will be very difficult for you. Babies take a lot of time and effort...not to mention money. If you don't think you can handle a child mentally and financially then I would suggest you look into adoption.
Make sure you look at all your avenues in adoption and make the choice that is right for you. There are several different types of adoption ranging from closed to open. My cousin had a child when she was young and had an open adoption. The child's adoptive parents let my cousin visit her son and they even came her sisters wedding. She receives a lot of information about him and pictures all the time. The boy knows who she is and how she gave him to his parents. He is a very well adjusted child because they never made it an issue.
There are other people who choose closed adoptions because they don't want any contact with the child or the parents after the adoption. Others choose something in between the two. There are many couples willing to adopt babies so if that is the choice you make then keep looking until you find the parents and the situation that is just right for you.

Good luck, I hope you have a very strong support system. I also hope that you do what is best for the child, whatever you deem that to be.

Ashlea R

If you feel that you can handle the emotions that come with it and make sure it's something u can really do and want. You have to make sure that once you have the baby you can hand it over to a stranger. just don't abort it beacuse i kno sumone who just did that. that is wrong and there are alot of great people out there who are trying to have kids and they can't. If you don't think u can take care of it then you make thedecision. I don't know you but something tells me that you can do it! but think about whatever is in the best interest of the baby.

Still Me

I have read all your questions and answers on previous posts. I am not at all convinced this is a sincere post, but in any case, it appears you are a very young, young woman who has lots of needs. I would think if you truly want the best for this baby, then you should consider letting a mature couple who is married and stable parent the baby.

It would be the most loving sacrifice you could make for the baby. Very, very few, if any, children make good parents.

Look in your phone book under "adoption agencies" and call one for counseling. They will advise you that you should bring your parents in and all of you get counseling together. Then you can look at all the options.

However, the birthfather has lots of rights. He must be contacted and informed and involved in this decision as well. Best would be if you went in for counseling together!

Good luck!

Jen

Your choice, but if you feel like you can't care for the baby, then Id say Yes. Give it a lot of thought. Don't let anyone pressure you. You are the only one who can decide something like that.

minimickimichelle

You should get some advice from some adult close to you.

But, I want you to know that I adopted my 3 children and I thank God every day for the girls who released their children for adoption. I pray that God protects them and blesses them in abundance for the way my children have blessed me. I truly am thankful for getting to be a mom.

Things you should consider are, your ability to provide for the baby, not just financially, but emotionally and mentally and spiritually. Also, is there strong support for you? Raising kids is a very hard job (I ended up raising my kids alone, due to divorce), it has been the most difficult thing I've done and the most rewarding. How will a baby change your life and are you ready for it? Can you deal with the emotional feelings of loss if you adopt it out?

Just remember that there are people who will help you no matter what you decide, but, there are many couples who cannot have children and you have been blessed with the ability to bear children. Maybe, because you're young and single, this pregnancy was meant to be a blessing to another family.

I will be praying for you and your baby and the decisions you will be facing. Take good care of yourself. Be blessed!

JR S

Its a long hard road, Always put the baby first, thats all i can say

Lucianna Z

That is a choice only you can make. I let my daughter be adopted 10 years ago and I still feel it (the loss) every day. You have to choose what would be most correct for your baby AND you. Can you live with the choice that you make? There are plenty of single mothers out there doing it alone!

**starz**

congratulations. im 15 and pregnant. and im having it!!!!

*****edit*****

so i get a thumbs down because i am being a good mom and not killing my baby????
that makes no sense.

Dreamer

I would say yes, since you're just 16 and there's long life ahead of you!

raynelley

I think that if you feel you are not ready to raise a child (which you most likely are not) then adoption is the best choice for you. My Husband and I are currently in the process of being approved for adoption we would love to have a new born as would many other loving couples who are unable to have children of their own. By putting this baby up for adoption you would be giving it a better life with parents who are financially and emotionally ready for it. You would also be giving yourself a better life by allowing yourself the chance to go back to school and make something of your life. Also think of the gift you would be giving to the adoptive family. There is no gift more precious than a child. I know that My husband and I plan to let our child's birth mother follow there life, we plan to send pictures and letters until our child turns 18 and is able to make the decision of whether or not to keep contact. So adopting would not automatically cut you totally out of your babies life either. In the end it is a decision you will have to make on your own but think about all these things. Let us know what you decide.

Stop the Hate Love instead

Do you have a supportive network? Itâ€™s tough being a teen parent but even more if you have no supportive network. Are you ready to become an â€˜adultâ€™ full time? No more parties, hanging out with friends etc. How will you provide for the child? What about your education?

Adoption can be a wonderful thing, the baby would be going to a parent or parents that are truly ready for it, ready to be parents. There are different kinds of options like Open adoption or Semi open adoption. Iâ€™d suggest you sit down with a counselor from a place like planned parent hood and talk out your options. The pros and cons

buterfly_2_lovely

That's your choice.

Do you have support from your parents? a church group?

Can you finish your schooling?

Can you earn enough money to make ends meet?

Are you ready to give up your childhood?

You'll have to answer those question before you can make a good decision. Good luck!

bananabug

If you have a supportive family that is willing to help you out, I'd keep the baby. It will be hard for you to know that you're child is out there with someone else...If you have not option it is wonderful to give this child a chance at life with people who can provide.

janiesheron

Kiddo. if you do not have an education, you can not support the baby, please give the little one to someone who can.... There are so many couples out there who can not have children, but can give your baby the best home and can raise it very well, and give it a proper education... I worry about you raising a child because you sound like a child yourself....... please...... do it for the baby......... please

Katie W

yes

s p

If you don't feel ready, I think adoption would be a wonderful alternative. There are many, many couples out there who would be happy to have the chance to raise the baby.

albertolvrz

I think you should, and get your life back together.

Go back to school.

Do something with your life.

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