I am wondering, why so many couples aren't able to conceive?

jeni5844@yahoo.com

people put work and careers before having kids. they are too old, so they need other people's kids.

LindsayM

If you look at the "Dear Birthmother" letters on adoption sites, you'll notice a lot of the same:

fat.old.fat.old.fat.old.fat.old.fat.olâ€¦

Old: no eggs or bad eggs
Fat: Hormones messed up

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

I find many of the answers so far insulting

"Fat.. old" "possible work of the agencies that want to keep a demand for their buisness"

Typical insensitive responses to infertility

How about "genetic mutation that means that as an adult, my ovaies are, (at best) the size they were when I was born, which means they will never produce eggs." in other words.. no way in he** I can have my own biological child..

Carry a child from a donated egg or adopted embryo??, yes
have a child genetically mine??.. no current modern medicine is able to accomplish that one....

as for what it has to do with, it has to do with a chromosome abnormality..

Had it my whole life.. found out when I was 16. (age I was FINALLY able to convince mom to look into the little matter of why I hadn't started my period) It has nothing to do with my age.. the abnormality happened at conception, I believe.. that's if remember the words of the doctor right when, at 16, they were explaining that I'd never be "normal"
great feeling for a teenager..

Thanks for asking..

Jennifer L

I think age has something to do with it; people are waiting longer to have children. However, infertility is not a new problem. People just didn't talk about it before, so it seems like a huge new thing. The numbers ARE probably up a little, due to the trend for people to have families later in life, but not tremendously so.

ETA: Put me in the secondary infertility "idiopathic" catagory. No discernable cause. So, we'll never know why.

Put me in the PCOS category as well. I also don't exhibit any of the outward visible signs like being over weight.

As others have stated this is a hereditary condition that is also progressive. My mother and both of my sisters have it. One of my sisters was told at 23 that she would never have any children, she is now the proud mama of 2!

akbutner2

Honestly I think there are a couple of factors...1) there has always been infertility but people are more open to discuss and there is more info available now. 2) People are waiting much later in life to have kids and ability to have kids lessens with age . Some people in their mid to late 30's may have no issues getting pregnant but statistically speaking their chances decrease. As you get older (for women at least) the number of quality eggs starts to dwindle. Meaning your chance for chromosomal defects and unviable pregnancy increases 3) General health issues play a part in this as well. Over the years the obesity numbers have increased. Obesity does cause infertility issues because of the decrease in general health. Basically lifestyles have changed so it is either more evident now because of more awareness or those changes have caused a infertility rise.

Big Daddy R

Much of it is that people wait to have kids now. They wait till after college and when they have been in their careers awhile before even getting married. So many people are waiting till 30-35 to have their first. That is not old but as ferilty goes women are their most fertile from 20-27. I think that has alot to do with the fertilty troubles today

twinsmama06

I really feel like it is an age thing. I think our bodies are ready to start having babies in our early twenties and those of us that waited until they were 35 or so just have trouble.

Renee King

People have always adopted, 20 plus years ago it just was not as public as it is today. Look at all the adoptee's on this site that are over 20. People never realized how many babies were truly adopted. Two of my closest friend (out of five) are adopted. I did not realize one of them was adopted until we were older, like 18/20.

I think the issue with being able to conceive has a lot also to do with our enviroment. I think there are more chemicals and polutents in our air and water and that also effects fertility.

Kazi

There could be a million reasons: age, weight, disease, plus a myriad of psychological issues.

There is also a misconception that every woman with PCOS is obese. Not true. I have PCOS and I'm at a healthy weight.

P.S. Kate Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 also has PCOS and not even a little bit heavy (even before the tummy tuck).

sk8ermom

Hi, I have a very common fertility issue called PCOS. it is a hormone imbalance and I don't ovulate. Even when I did get pregnant after 8 years, it was a horrible pregnancy. I have since had a few miscarriges. It runs in families very strong. Most women in my family are affected. A common side effect of this is weight issues. I see a comment on here about "old, fat, old fat". I am assuming that is what this ignoramus is referring to. I am fat because of my condition but I am the only one in my family that has this and has weight issues.

Adopting couples are usually older not because of career choices but because adoption is so expensive that by the time you have tried everything else to concieve and then saved for adoption...its been 10 years!

Gershom

Maybe some of the top directors of agencies also have/had a hand in marketing over the counter drugs once found to make women and men infertile. Create the demand, and then supply the market. Just a hunch.

Kassy

My husband can have children with me, but we'd need some kind of special procedure. I forget its name, it's not IVF, it's more complicated.

When my husband's doctor tried to clear a supposed blockage, he found out he had no vas deferens. They told us most likely he had a hernia surgery as a newborn & they were accidentally snipped then. My husband thought that was crazy, until he told his mom. She fell apart. He did in fact have hernia surgery when he was a few days old.

I had always wanted to adopt or do foster care, so that's when we contacted DCF. I never looked into the fertility thing further or what we'd need to get done.

wholelottacats

I think that it's a misconception that more couples are infertile now - as others have said - people just didn't talk about it as much. Now, we're all on the internet - publishing our stories for the whole world to read.

Put me in the PCOS column. I got married relatively young (24) and we found out pretty soon after that I couldn't conceive. PCOS, with some functional cysts that grew to the size of golfballs before they ruptured, flipping one of my ovaries back over on itself, and then add in some nice scar tissue to go with that.

Most of the women I know who are infertile weren't fat or old. I think that fits right in with the nasty stereotypes about all APs out there - selfish couples who spent so much time pursuing their careers they found themselves unable to have children by the time they were willing to make time. I know very FEW APs who fit in with that stereotype.

Freckle Face

Hi Red and Sassy,

Two of my great aunts were never able to have children. One of my aunts was not able to conceive for 7 yrs until she had a laperoscopy. (sp.?) I was told at 21 I had endometriosis. It tends to run in families. I'm thinking these relatives had it too. Its a newly diagnosed disease.

Yes, it think age has a lot to do with it and stress. I remember being so stressed trying to get pregnant. When we accepted our infertility and later filed for adoption, i felt this huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It was also the month i got pregnant.

Stop the Hate Love instead

I think this is a misconception even if it appeared everyone had babies. That is not the case infertility has been around since the begging of time. Only difference is back in the olden days you were just out of luck. There have always been people who have not been able to conceive for whatever reason. Now a days with woman getting into the work force many put off having families till they had their careers established. In the old days a womanâ€™s job was basically to have babies and run the household, prepare meals for the men folk and family. That said anyone can have fertility issue regardless what their age is.

In the olden dayâ€™s people did not talk about fertility issues. Some would adopt but keep it on the low down to pass the child off as their biological child.

Cam

I'm sure age has a lot to do with it. Many women are holding off on having kids only to discover that it's much harder or impossible to conceive. Not for all but many.

parental unit

believe me, there were infertile couples around when you were growing up, but no one talked about it. It was usually blamed on the woman, and used to be grounds for divorce.

Adopted Jane

I Also think a Huge part of infertility besides the age/putting off is the environment in which we have created, all the harmful toxins that pollute the air, all the toxins we digest and put on on faces /skin etc
I also think Stress is a HUGE factor.
People work a lot harder and have to "have it now" and so work round the clock and take on huge stresses to have the latest and greatest
There is Less family time and babies are more planned like "oh quick hun i'm ovulating"
There isnt *time* anymore to just smell the roses and live life and cruise along and make love and produce a baby, its all about timing and its all about the "must have now"

Thats just my opinion of course

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