I don't feel comfortable asking this question, but I have to. Should I adopt a Caucasian or African-American ?

co7tbrennan

doesnt matter

ALi

All children are equally deserving of love, but you have to take into account the cruel ridicule a Caucasian child would get in school for having black parents. Isn't it sad how cruel kids can be?

I think you should go with whatever child you fall in love with. As long as you're loving and giving parents, race shouldn't be an issue and I'm sure it won't in your family. Of course, you'll never know how a child will feel about fitting in until it happens, but the best of luck to you!

tvluvmee

There are more African American children available for adoption. So much so that it is actually cheaper to adopt an African American child. I think you should adopt African American because they are in greater need of homes than Caucasian babies. Why would you want to go out of your way to adopt a child of a different race than yourself? Are you looking forward to the questions this child will have, or possibly the ridicule it will face? I have biracial children and they don't get a moments piece from the black kids or white kids. Get a black kid, be a big black happy family, and do all you can to make the kids life "normal".

Jessi

Don't let movie stars or Hollywood icons base your decision.

Let the child that you find is the one for you, no matter what race.

As for the Caucasian child being raised by different race parents, that doesn't matter. All of my family is Italian or Welsh. However my youngest brother and sister were both adopted from Africa. And no one ever ridiculed them for having Caucasian parents.

Don't go for a certain race. Go for a child that catches your heart!

Good luck!

cruzgirlz3

Honestly, I think you should focus on having your own first. This is a powerful experience and being biologically related to your children is just easier in general. Many who want to adopt change their minds after having children of their own.

If you were to adopt I think you should adopt a black child. The thing is that parenting is HARD, really hard no matter what. Why choose to make it even harder for the child and for you? The fact is, children do better when they are in more similarly matched families. Why would you want to add just one more "issue" a child will have to deal with their whole life. Remember, this should be what is best for the CHILD.

Frank White

you should adopt a haitian or black kid

xtempore

Find a child that needs you, that you connect with and adopt them.

Don't worry about race one way or the other. There are always problems with raising kids, whether they be black or white, your own or adopted.

Just give them the love they deserve and they will return it with interest.

The one piece of advice though, if you do end up with a child that is obviously of a different race - tell them the truth early on. Tell them they are adopted, that they are special, that you chose them, and that you love them.

Just a Mom

I don't even know how to respond, because I prefer for people to adopt from foster care. But you want a baby and there are no garuntees that you can adopt a baby from foster care. But I will try to be as objective as possible, even though I don't agree with just wanting to adopt an infant.

I think that any child that is adopted outside their own race and culture has a hard time, including celeberaty adoptions. Sometimes in that case, it seems like it's a hot commodity. I think that a white child would have a hard time with black parents, just as a black child would have a hard time with white parents. I had a foster son that was black and he told people all of the time that the cracker (me) wasn't really his parent. He didn't want people to know that he was living with white foster parents.

That being said, we looked at adopting sibling groups of all races from foster care. Would there have been issues? Yes. But did I still want to do it? Yes. I really wanted to have biracial children for a very stupid reason...my baby that I had miscarried was biracial. However, what we adopted was a beautiful sibling group of blond haired, blue eyed children. This was not my preferance, but we were their foster parents and asked by their first parents to adopt them. We loved them, so we adopted them. End of story.

When they grow up and move out, we will probably adopt another sibling group and a small, guilty part of me wants that biracial sibling group still. It's horrible to say, but true.

Spohia Grace is here!

Although we didn't adopt my husband and I talked very seriously about doing so. A caucasion child is very hard to find in our area, so we talked about other races. I am from the deep south were interracial couples or anything to that matter is looked down upon. My husband and I are both caucasion, and my views are that a child needs love, no matter there racial background. While neither of us were extremely concerned with adoption racial issues, we bagan to look at how that child would be affected in our area.
For instace, we talked about the effects of possibly adopting a 'black' child. Because we are white, when it came time for him/her to date, would he/she want to date someone in their own racial group, or would he/she date someone from another race. And would another caucasion couple want our "black" child dating thier causcasion child? (Like I said, deep south. Not accepted) We also thought of any other hardships that that particular child would face. I have black friends as does my husband, and neither of us are predjudice against any racial background. But we honestly live in a community that is mostly caucasion--just where my husband grew up. Would a child from a different background be comfortable as he grew up? If a 'black' (and I use this because it's a particular "problem" in the south) child grew up "white" would he have problems mixing with other "black" children later in life? Would someone think he thought he was better because he had white parents? But this goes for any race?

Before adopting from any racial background, make a list of the pros and cons or any difficulties that child would have in your culture. I know for us, it would have created problems, not for us, but for the child. And at any time you plan to adopt you have to have the interest of the child at heart and not your own.

I have a step-brother who is bi-racial (white/black) and it's actually a little difficult on him in our family. My dad married a woman who had previously been with a black man. My grandparents are very "old school" and don't believe that is how things should work. Although they have not been "out of the way" to my step-brother, comments are made that could be hurtful. Just make sure that your child will have the best from either side and that if you adopt outside your race that letting them learn a bit about "their" own culture would be acceptable.

Good luck in your decision!!!!

blznsun2004

I know what you are saying, most people think that people should adopt within their "own race" because they don't know anything about the others.

I think that is total crap, there are so many kids that needs good homes.....any of them that need saving and you can help should be your priority. If you are personally uncomfortable with one more than the other, that is something you need to work on and work out. I always said that I would adopt an Asian baby at some time in my life and it is a huge expense so that time may not ever come, but my thoughts are with you! Good luck no matter what you choose!
B-

Unknown....

Race shouldn't matter. But, the reason many caucasian families adopt from other races is that there aren't many causcasian children in the system.
Ideally, they want to keep races together, so first priority is adopting from your own race and then from another race. You would wait many years to adopt a caucasian infant while you will wait substantially less to adopt a minority race child..
I am caucasian and will probably adopt minority children, more then likely a sibling group, because of how much longer they wait in foster care. Minorities seem to have significantly less fertility issues, thus there are less adoptive parents from that group.
I think the factors that come into play are the children that are actually in need of a home. Most of those children are minorities and there are waiting lists for caucasian children.

littlestar

You should adopt what child who needs you and you love. Family members might critize whatever choice you make, but in the end if the day , it's your decision and I will go out on a limb and say that they love your child too.
Follow your heart in this and everything will turn out fine.Don't ever let others (yes even family) tell you how to live out your dreams. They should trust your judgement, because you turned out great!
God bless you and I hope everything will turn out the way you dreamt of!

Samantha

You are setting yourself up for trouble if you do not realize that race DOES matter when you parent a child of a different race. There are books to help you figure out the best way to raise a child of another race.

There are SO many black children in America that need to be adopted. A disporportionate amount. If you look up "waiting children" online....85% of the kids are black. I think you would get looks from the black community like...why didnt you adopt a black child?

I think it would be perfect if you went the Mixed route, in my opinion

Hannah

Generally adoption agencies like to place children with families that reflect their heritages so helps them to feel part of the family. this means that they would want to give you a black or mixed-race child rather than a caucasian one. It is true black children are placed with white families but that does not mean that they don't face problems because of this. It is often simply that there are more black children for adoption that black parents to adopt them and more white parents than white kids. Madonna and Angelina jolie got black children because they wanted to adopt from African countries which obviously only have African babies.

collegechicksellers

race is not an issue. my sis is black and the rest of us are white. she fits in perfectly with us. she needed us and we needed her. the stares can get bad and when she first started at her new school they didnt let me pick her up, because they didnt believe that she was my sis. there are some issues that can arrise but they are all suppersicial and pointless.

me m

There's a lot to answer in this question. First about celebrities adopting children; you cannot compare your adoption to anyone else's. I think the only similar factor is and this goes for anyone adopting- you want to offer someone something better/more. To answer the question of right or wrong. I don't think it's wrong but you may want to ask yourself "why am I thinking of adopting a caucasian child?" I know you stated your soon to be husband is also Black-so more than likely you will have your own children- that are black.... but there is something else there (at least I think since you said after others mention adopting from Haiti... drama). If you decide to adopt and the child isn't black or Haitiain, I suggest you should be prepared to know about that child's cultures. I think it's really sad that a child will not know their "true" identity- this has nothing to do with skin colour. If you were to look at me. I look Hispanic (I am pretty sure you can read my name) but I am mixed. Both my parents are mixed. German/Af-Am... French/Jamaican. My parents are from Europe- I know about my heritage from them. I know as much as I can about my culture/background. It makes me sad to think that someone could miss out on that- it's great that they will learn about your culture but it's nice to know. And they will want to know- so be helpful- and be able to guide them. I think that goes both ways if you are white adopting non-whites. Educate yourself!

I am in the process of adoting a child myself. I wish you luck once you decide which route to go. You will fall in love with many babies- but the right one for you; you'll know it. Trust me!

Angela R

Our children are a different race then us, so I understand not caring what the race your child is, however, I think there's a big difference between being open to adopting a child of ANY race, and only wanting to adopt a child of a specific race, while NOT wanting to adopt a child that shares your own race.

First, you should understand that there are FAR more caucasian families hoping to adopt then their are caucasian babies and toddlers available for adoption. On the other hand, there are less African American families looking to adopt then there are AA babies and toddlers. The wait for you two to adopt an African American infant would probably be very short as there are agencies actively looking for AA adoptive parents. On the other hand, adopting a healthy caucasian child can take years.

I think it would be less likely for an expectant mother to choose an African American couple to adopt her caucasian child when there are many caucasian couples looking to adopt. In part because the thought that it would be harder on the child, but also because they may question your motives for only wanting to adopt a white child.It doesn't seem like you have a real compelling reason for your preference, so you may want to re-examine your preferences, and motivations for adopting, and ask yourself if you're really not comfortable adopting a black child, and if so, then why not.

Mysterious Racer P

No, you should adopt the child you and your husband want to adopt, not what your family or those around you tell you to do.

cmc

Just because race is the first thing you're asked about, doesn't mean you have to answer it first. I would first learn about the basics of domestic adoption vs international adoption. Domestic adoption includes both newborn adoption (usually private) and foster care adoption. If you want to adopt a newborn you can be open to any race if that is what you want. Usually the first mom picks the adoptive parent, so you don't need to select a child by race.

Adopting from Haiti is a different process, so educate yourself on this process and see if it appeals to you. For example what age range of children is available, how long is the adoption process... The answers vary widely by country. Once you know a little more about adopting from haiti you can compare that with what you have learned about american adoption and decide from there.

H H mama to 2 beautiful girls!

i really don't think the race matters if you find a caucasian child that you fall in love with, id go with that. if its a black, mixed, asian, whatever, as long as you and your husband love the baby/child it shouldn't matter. i would set up no expectation and just let your heart lead you to the right child. good luck

In my opinion, it shouldn't matter. Adoption is a noble thing, and there are all races of children that need a loving home. You should adopt any race/ethnicity of child you want to and not worry about what anyone else thinks.

mommy

I think its wonderful that you want to adopt! I can understand your concerns, they are valid and completely normal. I think it would be great to adopt a child from the US, I always see so many celebrities adopting from other countries but there are soooo many children who need a family right here at home. I think that no matter what race your child is, as long as they are brought up with love and confidence they will be fine. I know a couple who are both white and they adopted a black child and they did have some issues unfortunately when he was school age where kids were curious as to why his mom and dad didnt look like him and they even got some stares and comments from ignorant people who thought it was weird...but you know what? They taught him to be confident and they taught him what to say to others about it in a respectful way and he is the most wonderful, loving, confident child Ive ever met. We have a news show here where I live and they have a segment where they feature a kid who needs adopting and no matter if the kid is black, white, asian, whatever, all they say they want is a mommy and daddy to love them and take care of them...you go with your heart and I wish you all the best and Im so happy for the child who eventually will be your own little bundle of joy and pride

Star

the child that catches your heart.

Randy B

Race was not a priority in either of my adoptions either. My wife and I are both white, my oldest is East Indian, my middle was born to us and my youngest is First Nations (North American Indian). I can't speak for the youngest (she's just a baby) but my oldest is almost 16 now and we've talked at length about her having been adopted and by a white family. She's never had an issue with it and never been teased at school or anything. We live in a vary culturally diverse community so she has white friends, Indian friends, Muslim friends, Christian friends and so on. She states that she likes the fact that we are a blended family and was excited when we adopted again. We are waiting to adopt a third and she's asked what race we are adopting this time. We just tell her that we will adopt what ever we are blessed with.

Of course, everyones situations are different. For us, race has never been an issue and we've never let it be an issue. We advocate for our kids at school, we stay involved and we try to embrace everyones differences. When you look at the big picture, even in a family of biological children everyone is still different. One may be good with music, one with sports, one with animals. You embrace it all. It's the same way with us. The only way that any adopted child, regardless of race, is made to feel different or second best is if we, the parents, allow them to feel that way.

Follow your heart and make the best fit possible for you and your husband. In the end, regardless of the match, it will be what you make it to be.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: