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2010-10-25 22:17:27 +0000
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Are you saying that your husband knowingly and fraudulently acknowledged this child as his own, in hopes of getting his name on a child's birth certificate, when the child was not even his nor married to the mother of the child?? Were you and your husband thinking that this fraudulent act would make it easier for you to adopt this baby? This smells to high-heaven. Of course the original birth certificate would have the mother's name on it...WHY not?..did you think it would have your name on it? And good, evidently you and your husband's devious little plan didn't work, because his name wasn't included on the OBC. And since no adoption has been finalized, this poor child is not legally yours.
My only sympathy is for the poor baby. Adults playing devious games with a child's life is so..wrong, wrong, wrong. And are you sure the mother totally surrendered her rights to her own baby? I would double check that as well.
Shame on you, shame on your husband. As much as I am against pre-birth matching and taking newborns home from the hospital by strangers....even moreso am I against people who fill out legal documents fraudulently, thinking that it will make their adoption process that much easier. Why didn't you and your husband do it the old fashioned way of adopting...doing a homestudy, etc.? Is it possible your husband wouldn't have passed muster? Or to insure there would be no natural father to contest an adoption? |
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2010-10-25 22:02:03 +0000
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Your story has changed since the last time you posted it. Did you know he was not the bio father? Did he lie to you? Did you lie to us? Did you buy the baby?
No home study, no legal adoption? Ah geez.
Now you should be worried. Get a very good lawyer. Perhaps at this point, a criminal one... |
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2010-10-25 22:15:18 +0000
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Yes, you could get into trouble for falsefing legal documents, knowing that it is a lie, and now that you are having this problem of separation this could cause the adoption to be disrupted.Adoptions take up to 6 months and something is not right here.The birth mother could take this child back.Did you go thru an attorney, does not sound like it, as an attorney surely would not have you intentionally lie to the court.Not going to look good to the judge, as you have to swear under oath in court,I would not want to be in that hot seat.it is sad for the child as you are separating & messing up his little life, you say your son wants for nothing, well he will, as family that is not separated.It would be awful if the court investigates this case indeepth & finds out all that has & is going on, you may never be able to adopt in the future, and you may lose this child.I would hope not.It is awful to lose a child.There maybe charges against both of you & the child may go into foster care.You should of thought of doing everything legally.Sometimes prospective parents want a child so bad that they will do about anything to get that baby in their arms & consider it theres.Secrets do come out. |
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2010-10-25 20:28:48 +0000
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The reason the Birth Certificate says that is because that is the case. The child's birth mother is her and the father is unknown. This is how the birth certificate should remain. Neither of you are the child's birth parent and he should have the opportunity to know the truth about his life.There is no point in changing it. Now I have to ask why would the two of you want to adopt this child legally together knowing that you are splitting up? When having children by birth or adoption you have to look at what is best for the child. Do you already have a custody agreement in place between the two of you? Is the child going to be shuffled between the two homes? You have to understand a lot of people are going to read this and wonder why you would want to put a child through this. It is like getting pregnant on purpose while in the middle of a divorce. It just isn't logical. I understand you must care about the child but you really need to look at all the options here. |
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2010-10-25 20:16:50 +0000
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How awful that you are bringing a child into this mess! Your husband was wrong to put his name on the birth certificate, knowing that the child isn't his. That's called fraud. |
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2010-10-25 23:42:32 +0000
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My husband cheated on me and left just 6 months after our daughter came home. I was stunned. I know how you feel. Why the heck would he say "sure lets adopt" if he wasn't happy? P!ssed me off to no end. I know how getting the judgeing goes because I am in your shoes. My kids are doing great as well and Im so glad its working out for us all.
Anyway, ouch, you broke the law. This adoption is not legal and without an adoption decree with your name and/or your husband's name, you have no rights. It sounds like she didn't put your husband on there after all. I think you have been lied to. If the mom still wants you to have this child, you need to do things right. You need an attorney, first of all. Start your home study right away. Just do a standard private adoption with no illgal or shady moves. You want to feel confident that this is solid and unbreakable. Do you know if the mother would still sign off her rights and go ahead with this for you? |
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2010-10-25 20:13:22 +0000
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Why on earth would you adopt a child when your life is in chaos? I don't doubt that the birth mother is just a horrific mess, but an unstable environment in the first 3 to 5 years of life causes irreparable biological and mental damage to the offspring. Adopting a child when you can't even deal with your own life is a horrifically selfish thing to do.
Not to mention the fact that you have now lied on the record about your life status... I don't know if that is actionable but it is unethical and gives more insight in to your character. Lies on legal forms might be grounds to halt the adoption so if you are going to worry, worry about that. |
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2010-10-26 04:54:11 +0000
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This is fraud. You can lose this baby over it. |
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2010-10-29 14:54:41 +0000
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I agree that for whatever reason your husband put his name on this child's birth certificate knowing full well he wasn't the biological father - this is not going to pass muster and you very well may lose this child.
I'm not passing judgment on your marital situation; but treating this little baby like a commodity is abhorrent. Lying to get a child is just plain wrong and certainly unfair to this innocent little baby. |
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