I need to make a choice? Adoption or abortion?? PLEASE HELP!?

Kayla's Mummi.x.

adoption!!!! abortion is killing the baby wen it is alive and can sense and feel pain!!! give it to someone who can look after it and love it

Ian

WOW (not to be rude but i have never heard of a person 13 years old being pregnant). I would say to NOT have an abortion. Having an abortion (although its legal), is just like murdering a baby with poison. Please let the baby up for adoption. Having a baby is a miracle and dont let that miracle go down the trash.

A-lis-e-ah

Adoption, you can never go back on abortion.
And you may change your mind at the end.
And best to tell your parents.
x
:)

Pretty Chick

well ur really young but i dont like d idea of abortion cause thats like killin someone..n u don't know what dis person has for him/her in life...adoption wud be better cause you would have less guilt...n the child wud av a family to love n care for dem sum day to come....but its your choice be careful....n best of luck!

Karo

Honey I REALLY can understand your fear, impossible to describe but I can tell you only one thing: never ever do abortion or you'll regret all your life (!) and will have problems with forgiving yourself and your feeling of guilt will be worse than the fear you're going through now. Woman who do abortion have lots of psychological problems with themselves after and have ssuicidal thoughts, constant nightmares and they constantly can't stand the thoughts that they've killed their baby, thought are coming back all the time. It doesn't matter how advanced in pregnancy, it's a baby from the moment of fertilisation. Please don't do that, I beg you: it'll save you both. You have to be brave but think positive, I know you think it's impossible but seriously it'll be over in few months time otherwise the terrible feeling of guilt and hate to yourself will never be over, you will never be peaceful inside and never be happy, something will be constantly bothering you. Honey you are so young, please don't waste your entire life. There are places which help single mothers, young girls like you and adoption places, they will really help you, financially and psychologically. There are also phone lines you can ring for advice. You will not be left alone but you need to be brave and strong for next few months. Once you see the baby. you'll never regret. I don't know where you live but if in Dublin let me know if can help you somehow. I myself couldn't stand the thought of not doing anything to save a baby, it doesn't matter which baby, it's only a harmless creature, a little human being. Please let it live. I really want to help you if I can so please let me know. Please be strong and brave.
I'll be praying for you. Promise:-)

Linda

I would speak to your doctor. See if they think you are capable of carrying a child to term.

I would never say abort. I do not believe in it. I hate it. I cannot see it as anything other than killing a child. But I don't want to really give advice here when I don't know your medical situation. In any other situation I would say parent or adoption. But you are so young and to suffer rape at that age is unthinkable. Do you think you can carry this child? If so always parenting. And if there is no way you can raise this child, if there is no support, then adoption. I can't speak on abortion except to say that to have an abortion so young is probably going to add to your trauma, especially if you wait.

This really isn't the place to come for this advice, please speak to your parents and a doctor. I wish you the best of luck sweetie.

imapc

Whatever you do, have lots of support from family friends etc. And i wish you all the luck ever! Also, whether you abort, adopt or bring up this child, make something good of your life, and don't sleep with loads of guys go partying all the time, you'll regret it! Good luck:) xx

Pip

You really do need to talk to your mother or a counsellor. At your age you are still developing so could be a potential risk to you to continue with the pregnancy. You have three choices and am going to put them in the order I would choose.

1. Parenting - if I felt I could continue with the pregnancy. After all it's not the baby's fault and an innocent in the situation.
2. Abort - if I felt I couldn't be a parent.
3. Adoption - last resort if I couldn't abort and couldn't face being a parent.

Cutie Pie

You pregnancy wasn't your fault honey, but if you abort the innocent baby. It would be the biggest mistake you would ever done.
Once you kill your own child, a "baby killer" would be stamped on your forehead forever. You would carry that black shadow your whole life. Talk to your parents and they will help you to find a good family for your baby. I pray for you sweetheart!

Kthanksbye

Ok, I am TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY against abortion because in my mind, that is like killing another person. If you abort, you will carry that for the rest of your life. I think that you need to go with adoption, because you are too young to be a mom. I think that adoption is the way to go. I know that every one is saying that you should abort, but I wouldn't that to hang with me for the rest of my life. I understand that what you are going through is hard, but think about it. 20 years from now, how would you like to say that you gave up your child because you weren't willing to carry him/her for the 9 months. That baby is depending on you for its life. How would you like it if your parents decided that they didn't want to deal with going to labor and all that so they aborted you. They would have taken everything you have today from you because they didn't want you. You wouldn't have every had the chance to enter the world. and experience life. So that is why I say adoption. At least give that baby a chance.

opie babezz

Aw so sorry to hear that i think you should abort it.

Cup of sherry

I was adopted at 13 years of age. from age 6 till I was adopted, I lived in a children's home. My Aunt didn't want me after my grandmother became ill and put me there. My parents died before I was 6 months old. In the children's home, we had cottages for young ladies in your situation. They were given the option of parenting or adoptions. I would say about 85 to 90% would say they were going to adopt out the baby and over half would change their mind and parent. They could stay at the cottages as long as needed. I will tell you that a lot of the really young girls who found themselves parenting would usually not be by the time the child was 18 months to 2 years. These kids would end up back in the children's home and most would be adopted out, a lot by family members. 13 is very young and parenting is a not an easy job, even when you are adult. But don't let any say that you can't do it because you can. But you don't have too, you can give the baby up for adoption, maybe to someone in your family or to an adoptive couple you choose. You can have some contact with the child in a open or semi open adoption. You have some time to think about your options and you should talk this over with a parent or trusted adult.
I do not support abortion. I consider it killing someone who did nothing wrong. But if you do choose this option, please seek counseling, because you may have issues with this later. You have some time and don't have to make a snap decision.

Daniel

Just get an Abortion, and do it fast. Its the best solution in your case and considering your age, you're very young and shouldn't be pregnant.

kelly

first off, don't listen to the people that are saying ''baby killer'' etc, it's not a baby, its a bunch of cells at the moment. having an abortion in my opinion is entirely up to the person, who are other people to juge? it's not their life. your only young, you have your whole life ahead of you, their will be more time in the future for babys, with a man you love. if you kept the baby, would it remind it of what happened every time you look at him/her? then you will have to explain about it's father. adoption will be harder, you will have to carry it in your womb for 9 month but an abortion is over in a matter of hours. i really think you should think about you, your future. you seem like a bright young girl and have been through a hell of alot so i think you will do what's best for you. i wish you all the best for the future and if you ever need to talk, i am here.

Pocket Full of Prose

First off, you are awesome! It shows a lot of maturity on your part in considering all your options and figuring out not only what is best for you but what is best for your baby too!

A crisis pregnancy is never easy.

Here is an analogy that can really help you understand your options:
the car analogy.
a young man and a young woman are out on the lawn outside of a very busy street.
the child they are both responsible for runs out into the street. at the same time the couple becomes aware that there is a car coming at a very high rate of speed. there is no chance that the child will not get hit. the car is coming much too fast.
the couple as four options.
1. they can do nothing and watch the child get hit and killed by the car. the psychological memory of this inaction burned in their minds forever.
this is abortion.
2. they can both jump out and sandwich the child between them to brace the child for the collision. if they can stay together, there is minimal injury to the child. however, there is a 80-90% chance that they will split upon impact.
this is couples that try to stay together and/or get married because of a crisis pregnancy.
3. one of the parents can jump out in front of the car by themselves. injuries to the child are more substantial.
this is single parenting.
4. one or both of the parents and run out into the street and push the child out of the way of the speeding car and into the outstretched arms of a couple on the other side of the street.
this is adoption.
however, even with adoption, the birth parents always get hit by the car.

It's ALWAYS going to be hard!

As for your health, pregnancy and delivery will not hurt you. Our bodies are made for this! Girls have been having babies this young since the dawn of time.

I know several girls who have placed their babies for adoption. If you want, I can give you their email addresses. They are happy to talk to anyone about the details of it.

Just follow your heart. It isn't about what's easiest...about avoiding ridicule or pain...it's about what is right for you and your baby.

Good luck.

*Hugs*

Yarr

Being as young as you are, it might not be physically safe for you to carry a pregnancy to term.

If you've got no objection to abortion I'd say that would probably be the safest thing to do.

bluebell44

your 13 and pregnant get an abortion i'm againest it completly why bring an innnocent child into the world and give away your goin feel guilty knowing your son or daughter is out there somewhere and your going to feel guilty if you have an abortion so its the same thing if you have the family support give birth to the child and look after it proberbly with your family because at your age you will need that help babies are alot of hard work and they need lots of lovin

Torrejon

A big part of your decision should include serious discussion with a medical provider about:
damage to the child from chlamydia
effects of pregnancy and birth to your adolescent body
effects of pregnancy and birth to your child from an adolescent mother

And discussion with someone who knows you A LOT better than we do, loves you, and wants the best for you about what either decision might do to the rest of your and the child's lives.

Nesquick

If you carry the baby full term, it's going to be very hard to give the baby away once it's born.
I'd suggest getting an abortion but only if you think you can handle it.

librachic1988

I think that the best possible thing for you to do is to talk to your parents as well as a counselor about your decision. Whatever choice you make will have to be the best one for you. For example you could ask yourself do I believe and agree with a choice. Abortion is a very personal decision and not for everyone because some people agree with it and others do not. But to have a child at your age more than likely would require a c-section but you could find a loving couple/person who wants a baby but cannot have one. No person on planet Earth can tell you what is best for you because no one knows your situation or how it came about. As I said you can listen to the peoples advice on here, or you can talk to your parents, a family planning counselor, or even an adoption specialist. They are going to be the ones that are most helpful in making your decision. Whatever decision you make, make sure it is what you want, however in some states because you are so young your parents may be able to make the decision for you. I am sorry you are so young and having to go through this and I hope and pray everything turns out ok for you. Good luck and remember that no matter what happens it will be ok and everything happens for a reason even if we do not know what that reason is.

Tricia

talk to some one you trust hopefully your parent's ask their advice be aware if you go through with the pregnancy you will have bonded with your baby during that time as its as much your child as theres. on the other hand many people want children and cant but ultimately its your choice to make so talk to some one you know and trust as what ever you decide you will need support either choice you may grow to regret later in life you just cant tell so think hard about what is best for you and are you sure you do not want your child what if you carry to term then decide you cant give your baby away. i hope this person got caught and if you decide to go through with the pregnancy the baby may be what gets you through this all. dont make your decission to fast make sure your comfortable with it as your the one living with your choice. good luck i hope you make the right decision for you.

Colettey spaghetti

your 13! giving birth wouldnt be very healthy on you body because you are still growing. your pelvis has not yet opened out properly so child birth at this age will be EXTREMLY painful! i dont mean to scare you even more but id say abortion because its the best thing to do for you.

Jennifer L

At 13 years old, I have to question if it's even safe for you to carry a child to term. I don't have a big objection to early term abortions. I don't put an embryo on the same human level with an infant, or even a fetus later in the pregnancy. But this question could really come down to -your- health and the risks of pregnancy and delivery at your age. I would recommend that you seek the advice of a physician.

Jasmine Staller

damn thats a hard situation but i dont think aborting it would be the best choice because in my opinion everything happens for a reason no matter wat the surcomstances are if u have a baby its ment to be there and i think you should adopt bc i know ur not gunna get atached to a rapists baby but dont abort it most people arent strong enough to do that or handle it after its done because honestly its not the babys fault for wat that man did he has a right to have a life

LinnyG

Dont ask people in the adoption section this question. They want a baby, and have probably already emailed you or made you a fan. Its a sickness with some people.

Terminate your pregnancy. It is VERY dangerous for a young woman your age to go through with a full term pregnancy.

Abortion is fast, painless and safe- oh, and it's a LEGAL SURGICAL PROCEDURE.

Im sorry you are faced with this situation.You will heal from the abortion.Most women who relinquish a baby never heal emotionally.

drkangel210e

You need to tell an adult you trust and see a doctor who will be better at laying out your options for you. At your age, I would worry that a pregnancy could be very damaging physically. We aren't doctors, most of us aren't psychologists, and we're not in a position to give you the best advice possible.

peeples1983

If this is a real situation you need to be talking to your mother or care giver not us. This is not something any of us can help you with. We won't be there to hold your hand when you have to go to the clinic or look at your child as it is born. Talk to the people that will be there!

Tjitske

Abortion. Kids will tease you when they see you are pregnant. Not to mention birth hurts like hell. And once the baby is born your whole life is changed. When it grows it will want to know who its real mom is and come looking for you. And who knows its life might not be that good at all. You'll have an emotional connection to your baby and want to know what goes on in its life. It'll just be a pain in general. Definetly abortion.

newbie

I would say dont listen to a single person on this site. Talk to a parent an uncle a family member who knows you. My sister was adopted, I love her more than life itself. I could not imagine my life with out her. Yes, it is hard for her sometimes. It was really strange for her the first time she contacted her birth mom. But she is working on starting a relationship with her So that my perspective. if you decided to give the baby up for adoption find a lawyer that is respectable and will help you. If you decide to to be a mom then get a lot of help. Not because you weak or anything like that just because you still need to live you life a little. I have not adivce for abortion its not something i personal agree with, but i know a few people that it still hurts them to have gone through that. anything you decide get some counseling. If you believe in a God talk to him/her/it. Good luck. you have a struggle ahead of you regardless of you choice. j

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