Is Vanity a Good Reason to Adopt?

mindy v

i dont think its a GOOD reason, but if they are qualified to be a good parent then i dont see what the problem is... there are so many kids that need good homes.

TomShel

All these people may be criticizing! but you are still going to give a unfortunate child a better life who will be wanted loved and get the life he/she diservers!!

Verity

Choosing to start a family is a huge decision. I think some people feel pulled to adopt rather than conceive and bear their children, and might have a hard time putting that into words - or might not even understand it fully.

It might even mask health concerns or fears about passing on genetically-based diseases, or possibly infertility struggles.

So I wouldn't take this kind of off-the-cuff comment seriously.

Now if a parent were to, say, line up all the possible children to adopt and choose the cutest, that would be wrong. But I don't believe there's any place on Earth that would allow such a thing to take place - or a parent hard-hearted enough to reject a child for not quite measuring up to their standard of beauty.

ladyluck

It's not the best reason to adopt and they are going to have to find some other reason to tell the child. On the other hand, it's still good that they are adopting. I do have a feeling of disgust but they are still proving a child a home...

tink

Never herd of this before. I adopted because I wanted too. I dont think anyone needs to have anyones blesing to adopt. You adopt because you want too

Still Me

Of course not, no more than "I want a c-section so I can get this over with" or "I want a kid who looks like me" or "I want a baby to have someone to love me" are good reasons to give birth to a child.

Erin L

Well, in the many many adoptive parents I've talked to, not one I've known has ever had their motivation to adopt be avoiding pregnancy. I have heard that this might be a motivation for some celebrities, for whom a pregnancy and the physical consequences, could hurt their career. But, I'm sick of people thinking that most people's motivations are the same as celebrities. Actually, this is a little off topic, butI heard once that it is common for models to have their ovaries removed to make their abdominal area narrower! Yikes.

BPD Wife

I've prepared myself for the thumbs down on this one so here it goes.

I think that everyone has their own reasons for everything - whether it be adoption or going thru infertility treatments or giving birth. I agree that vanity reasons for adoption also make me uncomfortable, but that is my opinion just as abortion makes me very uncomfortable. Again, just my opinion. Others will have different opinions and I'm not sure that they should be judged for that.

cruzgirlz3

I have never heard of anyone adopting because they didn't want stretch marks....

I have heard women, in a joking way, say that this is one of the side benefits of adopting...

I don't see a lot of women lining up to adopt who are able to have their own biological child.

And the "ruining my figure" line comes right out of the 1950's. I think most women have figured out how to stay in shape throughout their pregnancies.

snowwillow20

What difference does it make why they want to adopt?

Born Country

I feel sorry for you!

It took my husband and I 4 years to conceive our baby girl, we went through a lot to make her, a lot of time, money and dr's appointments, and I would do it all over again!

I love being pregnant and experiencing everything that goes along with it! I wouldn't have missed out on that for anything!

(_9$)

I think it's a good reason to not have any children, period.

AdoreHim

absolutely not- Like someone just wrote- if this was the reason to adopt then that person should not have children at all. Pride and vanity is not something to teach your children- and eventually the reason will come out- and love will not be the top priority for this woman- Adoption is wonderful if the couple cannot produce children- I have 2 adopted kids and I am adopted myself- love for children is the reason, not a prideful statement like that

grapesgum

It is a sign of immaturity to me. I would be concerned that the woman would freak out the first time the child puked on her or her possessions and that she might lose it and do something to hurt the child.

I am not saying that is a reason to reject adoptive mothers, but I would hope that a woman who gave that as a reason to adopt would come under very close scrutiny by the adoption workers to be sure that she is otherwise stable and not likely to go off on the child just because he/she spit up on her new outfit. Sadly, if the mother has big bucks to shovel over to the agency, that scrutiny probably will not happen.

David T

Stretch marks are almost worn like a badge of honor. Although some of them can look pretty nasty, and with all the products on the market now, it still doesn't change who you are inside.

Freckle Face

no, never!

mommaknowsbest

NO. This is NEVER a reason to adopt or even have children What a selfish thing to do.

Doodlestuff

I would say that it isn't a good reason to adopt simply because if you are that shallow, how much really good effort would you put into your family? Even top models manage to get their shape back because they WORK at it. Also, for the very vain (Posh Spice?), most stretch marks appear during the last 3 weeks and they get c-sections to avoid the stretch marks. Takes all kinds.

Andraya

Having children isn't a death sentence for your looks. Good lord, many women walk away with no stretch marks or extra baggage. Why worry about what might happen if you want a kid soooo badly. Want to parent? Able to conceive? Get yourself a nice solid man and let nature take it's course.

It sickens me to think of women who are vain enough to adopt rather than deal with the nasty side of giving birth. Puts them right up there with the c-section moms who don't want to wreck their nice tight... well you know what I mean.

Victoria

NO WAY.. I dont think you are fit to raise children, until you atleast get over the fear of stretch marks!!!

amyburt40

I don't think it is.

jstar

As a woman without children I do fear how my body will change once I start a family. Even though I don't agree with that motivation for adoption, I can relate to those quotes.

However, experiencing a life growing inside of me and then bonding over the breast with that little life is the most beautiful and inspiring thing I can imagine and so I'll gladly take the stretch marks!

LaurieDB

If this were the reason someone was choosing to adopt, I'm not so certain I'd want someone who's that self-absorbed to be my mother!

treehugger

If someone is that vain, they should skip parenting all together.

Kids are messy, loud, dirty, and hard on a person and a house. That said, I wouldn't trade it for anything else in life.

tish

hell no! <EOM>

Noah's and Ava's Mommy

Absolutely not. If those are the only reason you are adopting you are better of not having ANY children.

Edit: Having kids is an act of vanity? HA! If I was vain I would not be pregnant right now. I've had acne, stretch marks, a huge belly, morning sickness, etc. My children can grow up to be nothing like me and I will be just as happy. They can have blonde hair and green eyes for all I care! I do not care what they look like, I just consider myself blessed because I'm ABLE to have children. They are something amazing and I will be happy just to love mine.

Tracy

WHAT? I'm sorry, but I don't think so.

That's a very selfish reason. There are millions of families STRUGGLING to try & get pregnant & then fighting to adopt & you wanting to adopt a child simply so you don't inconvenience your body is wrong.

Besides the fact that you're missing out on one of the most amazing & beautiful things a woman can experience.

Bell

Nope! I heard a quote one day... "stretch marks are the badge of a real woman" Love would be a good reason!

Pomagoldendoodlecockapoodoo

People who are that worried about appearances probably shouldn't be taking care of a kid in the first place. Kids can be *gasp* messy!

Lillie

Yes I feel sorry for you too, Heather.

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