Is it wrong for me to tell my parents they should not adopt?

babaloo is due Jan 28

Your parents are adults who can make their own decisions.

â™¥Marleys Mama 1-27-2010

more selfish
and who cares why they are adopting
Other baby's need love to

Maya

If ithey wont to have another girl then let them have another girl. it is a good thing to adopt and if they will be happy then why do you care? you will get a little sister to talk with and share things with whats wrong with that?

elaeblue

I think you will soon be out of the house and what they do is not your business. If they wish to give a good home to a child why shouldn't they? Cause you are a jealous older kid?

JAY

If you are old enough, move out. But just tell your parents how you feel about it, in a nice way.

Teh Awesome One

I think they should adopt out of care. My parents adopted my big brothers out of care, and my dad was in care, so they can adopt just because they want a girl, but do it through care, especially teenagers, they rarely get adopted.

Rosie

No, it's just your opinion you are stating, however, you already have so it's been shared with them.

but did they realize, they are about to experience that most precious and sought after of married bliss... the empty nest?

Oh glorious empty nest! For Christmas get her a lifesize baby doll dressed in pink with a layette and douse it in fresh baby powder. :)

estrellita

there will be other reasons behind it t,o its just maybe they feel they don't all need to be explained at great length with you, because they are pretty obvious anyway. at the end of the day its their choice and even if that is a main reason whats wrong with it as the child will at least get a loving home. whats wrong with that? if you try to talk them out of it your talking a child out of a new home, a new life and most of all hope, do you really want to do that?

Serenity71

What if they just said "Guess what we have decided to have another baby!" What would be your response then? The thing is is this about adoption or another child coming into the family or is this about you wanting more time with your parents somewhere in this you see yourself taking a back seat to a new baby in the house. I've know a few teenagers get their noses out of joint when a new baby arrives in a house, and that's biological.

While I agree with you about adopting from foster care your parents might not have the same information as you do about it. Why not start reading books on adoption in the lounge room or leave it somewhere where your mother/father will see it. Being in your parents face constantly will only make it look like your just being jealous or something along those lines.

Be sensible in how you talk to them about it too, sometimes a person can become to emotional in something that's close to home like this is and the point you're trying to make comes out the wrong way. So have a good think about how your wording it when you do talk to your parents.(Be prepared is what I'm saying.) If approached right they may just see you have an active interest in a younger sibling coming into the house and you just want it done the right way and your not threatened by it or totally against it.

All the best!

michelle5196

It's fine to voice your opinion but if your parents are loving and capable people then it's really none of your business. Sounds like your being pretty assumptive and selfish. You might want to ask yourself why you feel so opposed to it. Sry but it does sound really selfish to me. Just because your part of the family doesn't mean you make the major decisions and you have no right to make decisions for your parents. Grow up

Bella

i think they shuld be foster parents and help house kids not adopt
- advice from alice

Jamie

well you should be open with your parents and tell them how you feel. on the other hand, be careful about how you say it. try not to make it sound accusing. i would take it softly, but still firmly.
also, it is more wrong for you to be called "selfish, rude and hateful" for voicing your opinion. you should try to not let this hurt you very much because it is wrong.
i wish you luck in a very hard situation.

7rin

Please, from someone who was adopted (and so am what their prospective kid could grow up to be), get them to read AT LEAST Nancy Verrier's "Primal Wound" http://www.nancyverrier.com/prim_book.php or at least make sure they read some of the stuff listed/linked at http://7rin-on-adoption.dreamwidth.org/tag/recommended+reading,an+adoptee+speaks

myst1998

You are not selfish.

Sure, it might be your parent's decision but when they decided to become parents, it meant in whatever they do, they are supposed to take into consideration the feelings of their children. This is something that will impact the whole family and as far as I am concerned, you have every right to speak up and it involves you too.

Sounds like they are to old to adopt if you are the eldest and the youngest in your family is 16. If anyone is being selfish, it is your parents for the way they are treating YOU, their child who is already living with them and the fact they are going into it for a girl. Ugh!

So ,no, you are not being hateful, rude or selfish. From what you have said, that is what THEY are doing and I hope they pull themselves up and realise they have 3 precious children (albeit grown) in front of them they need to focus on.

Sorry you are having to go through this!

Opedial

Well any good homestudy is going to interview you privately and you are free to state your concerns. I would never adopt again if all of my family was not on board. That said, if say they were pregnant, you would have to overcome it naturally, but this way you can have your say in person. If you are going to resent this child, then by all means let everyone know that before they move forward with adoption.

mapleleaf2

How are you being selfish? You have the right to express whether or not you want to be related to a total genetic stranger or not.

You state your youngest brother is 16 . it sounds to me like your parents are at the age they should be looking forward to and welcoming grandchildren, NOT pretending they are two decades younger and adopting babies. I call this a mid-life crisis and trying to regain their youth. How old are they? In their 40s? That's why most women go infertile by age 40 by design of Nature - so that they are prepared to nurture grandkids. I think they're trying to fill the natural "grandchild void."

Maybe your parents need counselling to help them accept middle-age (and the rest of the aging process) gracefully. Instead of trying t make themselves feel young and fertile again.

Lady Rowan

no its not wrong to voice your opinion. Your parents are wanting to adopt for their own selfish reasons. they are in for a rude awakening.

MSZ. iNTROV3RT=)

Hey...
I don't believe that you are selfish, rude and hateful just because you're giving your opinion on what's going on with your family. You are apart of that family too, so you have the right to say what's on your mind. What ever decision your parents make affects you, and your siblings. So if you tell them that you don't think they should adopt, then they should be willing to listen, and they shouldn't criticize you for that.

Loser.

I think you really have a right to tell them that. She won't just be their family, it'll be everyone's family and if you feel unconfortable and it's not like a done deal and all you deffinately have a say in it.

OhBaby

Not at all. You should feel free to be open with your parents. Tell them exactly how you feel and maybe they will take your thoughts into consideration since you are apart of the family.

PhonicRay

Your opinion matters so at least voice yourself to them and let them know how u feel.

LinnyG

No, you are not wrong to tell them how you feel. From what you are saying, it sounds like they probably wouldn't pass a home study anyway. You sound like a smart girl, trying to educate them about becoming foster parents.

If all else fails, and they go through with trying to adopt a girl, you can always tell the social worker that you think your parents are being ridiculous and that you think this is a horrible idea. Hopefully, they will fail the interview & home study, lol.

You should buy them a girl puppy.

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