Is it wrong to give your child up for adoption?

Cassandra B

no not if u cant pervade it with its needs

AdoreHim

it depends on the reason for placing a child for adoption. But for the most part if the birth mom does not feel that she could raise her child for some reason, then of course it is a good choice. I am very thankful that my birth mom thought it was a good idea, and my 2 adopted children would not be in our home if their birth moms did not think it a good idea. It is not easy to place a child into another family, that I have no doubt of , but if there is no other choice because there is absolutely no way to raise the child, it is a great alternative, YES AN ALTERNATIVE to abortion, which takes the life of the child.

EDIT- I am SO tired of people that think that being adopted is horrible. I am glad my mother chose adoption over abortion.

Spotty-Dotty

Yes.

The most selfless thing you can do is carry a child for 9 months and than give it too a loving family who is better able to provide for the baby than you are. It is not wrong, especially with so many couples out there desperate to have children but they can't, and so many women getting pregnant when they are ill prepared to do so. It is not wrong if it's the best option for you.

Julia

yes unless u can not provide good care (food, water,clothing,shelter) but remember it can hurt the child's feelings badly... especially if they r like more than 6 yrs old... if u want to do it at like 3 yrs old...

*Aubrielle's Mommy!* 6.10.10

Absolutely not. Especially if the alternative is abortion (boo on that!)

To PhilM: Im sorry that you view life as an adoptee so horrible. I am not an adoptee, but my brother is, and the other option was that his mother was going to abort him, so he is thankful for his chance at life.

Praying For a Baby BOY:)

No,it is the most loving thing you can do if you are not able to care and provide for the child. It is the best thing because you are giving your child a better life and a better future. At least you would be giving your child life and not having an abortion.

Kit

Leahlove

No i think that it is the best thing you could do for your child if you cant take care of them. my mother gave me up when i was a baby about 2 months old. i thank her for it because it got me to where i am now. i dont think i would have been able to do half the things i had if i was with her. Just two months ago i got in contact with her and told her thank you for giving me up. she said if was hard for her but it was the best thing for me. If u cant give your baby the love and things that the baby needs it's the best option.

freestylechic27

no way. im adopted and that was the best thing ever for me! If I hadn't been given to a better family at birth who knows what kind of bad stuff would have happend to me.

Jessie TTC#1

No b/c if the situation is bad or you can't take care of a child there is a family that is more than willing to take care of your child the way they need to be taken care of and loved by them as much as you would have loved your child.SO if you ask me it is not a bad thing.

Ferbs

Not if you have determined that adoption is the best option for your child. Have you looked at all options re: resources and support to parent your child?

If you decide to go through with this...you need to have someone look after your needs and challenges that will come with that decision.

All the best.

@MaryCatherin B: Thank for such a powerful, eloquent response. You are helping show that in SOME cases...it is a decision made without coercion AND that open adoptions can work.

Paul

If you can not provide for a child adequately or you are not prepared to raise a child, give it up for adoption. There is nothing morally wrong with it.

Stop the Hate Love instead

If one feels that they can not provide the best possible life for their child and I don't mean in regards to money. That is a poor reason for one to place a child for adoption. Money is fickle and comes and goes and there is aid and help to those who need it.

If they feel they are not fit or ready to parent or simple donâ€™t want to parent not everyone wants to be a parent but not everyone agrees with abortion either. I do think one does not want to have kids they need to go through measures to make sure it does not happen but people are often times careless, don't think it can happen to them or they will deal with it when that situation comes up. Then placing that child for adoption or even giving permanent guardianship to someone is probably the best thing to do.

You will hear different things from different people but one canâ€™t really judge when they are not in the shoes of the person who is considering placing their child for adoption. Not all people who are adopted feel that they were â€œabandonedâ€ I have never felt that way at all in my life. My natural mother was in no shape (was an addict) to parent and had no support thus she did the only sensible thing and surrender me to the state. If I ever meet her in this life or in the afterlife I will thank her for a decision that was probably hard to make but was the best thing for me in the long run.

People will be criticized no matter what they do so all one can do is do what they feel is best for their child and themselves.

Megan

I gave my child up for adoption at the age of 20. It was the hardest thing for me to do, but I knew that what I want for him is something i can't give him. Its been about 4 years and im still not over it I miss him everyday i cry on holidays and his and mine birthday, I replay the day over and over again when I went home from the hospital with out him. I gave him a kiss and than put him in there car and walked away. There is a part of me that isn't with me but I would not change anything.He is in a GREAT family with a mom and dad that can give him EVERYTHING that i would want to give him plus more. As I looked back I knew that I loved my child so much that Im giving him the best that I can even though that means I wil have to suffer. I belive that is what makes adoption so great. You are willing to take the chance to never see your child again just to give him or her a great life. To me that is what real parents do. They think of what is best for the child. As far as if it is wrong. I think you know it isn't and that you just want to get peoples input. I will say that you have to be 100% for sure before the baby is born because when you see him or her for the first time and hold him and her the hardest thing to do is give him back. People will judge you saying that you dont love that child and that you are a horrible person for doing that. But than again those people who say that is banking on the 1st of the month to get there money

cailin

yes yes yes yes yes

Things Happen

William

People have their own beliefs on right and wrong, but only you can make the decision on what's right or wrong for your life. There are 3 choices every pregnant woman must make: keep the baby, give it up, get an abortion. All three choices are difficult: raising a baby is difficult, giving up a baby is difficult, getting an abortion is difficult. You are the one who has to live with your decision. You don't want to make the wrong one and eventually you won't be able to change your mind. There are women out there who've made these decisions and some women regret the choice they made and some women are grateful for the options they had. Your question is meaningless. The question you should be asking yourself is, "Is it wrong for me to give my child up for adoption?"

Mary Catherine B

Anyone who has never experienced what its like to make a decision like this and can sit there and say the cruel and untrue things that you are saying about adoption, such as adoption is like youre choosing to abandon your child or you dont love them, you are very close minded and selfish. You have your opinion and I have mine, except I have given a baby up for adoption, two years ago on November 2. A baby that grew inside of me for almost 9 months, a baby whose life meant more to me than my own, a baby that I loved so much that no matter what sadness came to me because of my decision, I wanted his life to be full of happiness. I wanted him to always have whatever he could possibly want or need. He was never considered a mistake, but he was unplanned. My boyfriend and I were in college being supported by our parents, we had no jobs, no sense of responsibility. Our parents paid for our school, our cars, our cell phone bills...everything. They would have had to pay for our child's diapers and clothes and give us a place to live, unless we wanted to quit school and work a couple of low paying jobs to barely get by, but what kind of future would that have been for our baby? Without school, we would have never been able to have jobs that would pay enough for us to live comfortably, and I want my baby to never have to worry or see his mom and dad struggling or fighting because of money, or even calling his grandparents mom and dad because they were the ones who raised him and bought him things. All I cared about and still care about today is that child, but now because of the very hard, very sad decision my boyfriend and I made, at least I dont have to worry about my baby, he has everything he could possibly need in life and more. His adoptive parents are two of the most loving, genuine, wonderful people I have ever encountered. They send us letters and pictures of him every couple of months and I LOVE getting those more than anything. I can see how happy he is and healthy and beautiful. We have an open adoption, so they can even call some if we want them to, which is so special. The first 6 months or so was hard when I would be on the phone with them because I would hear him in the background making noises or laughing and I wanted him to be with me laughing, but now when I can hear his voice even for a second, all I can do is smile...its the most comforting, perfect sound ever. He even said his ABC's (part of them anyways) and sang twinkle twinkle little star last time I was on the phone with them. His adoptive parents tell him all the time how much his birth family loves him and at the end of our last phone convo, she put the phone up to him and he said "i love you". Nobody will ever let that little boy think I didnt want him, I would give up anything right now to have been able to give him the life he deserves and have him right by my side, but I have not a single regret about choosing adoption. I gave him the chance at a WONDERFUL life and I also gave two kind, deserving people the most precious gift they could ever imagine.
And you know what? My boyfriend that I had the baby with, has now been my husband for 8 months. Im now doing something I love in school that will give me a very promising future and my husband has now joined the army and is currently in Afghanistan putting his life at risk every day, he has been awarded two very honorable medals and received two promotions for working so hard and all of the effort he and I are putting into our lives, is for our baby, so that one day he will be proud of everything we've done and thankful for what we did for him. When my husband and I are totally stable and ready to give our child/children the best life possible, we will, and I absolutely cant wait.
So please dont judge people for their decisions when you do not know situations or have never experienced it yourself. Some of you say adoption should only be for a child getting abused, or situations involving drugs, etc...but you know what? Those are the people that dont care enough to give their children a better life and a great future, they keep them in that environment when there is someone out there who could love those children so so much. I believe birth parents who choose a better life for their child than they are able to provide are truly selfless, awesome people.

mapleleaf2

Is it wrong to abandon any child? YES. Adoption is just another word for legalized abandonment. For any child to be adopted, that child has to first be abandoned, with all its implications of that child being unloved and unwanted.

Many mothers who want to keep their children are coerced into surrendering them, that is the truth, because infant adoption is a huge for-profit industry and an agency can get $25,000 or more for providing a healthy white infant to their paying clients. But if you have a choice to keep your child, if no-one is pressuring you to surrender that child and you have all the resources you need in order to parent as is your basic human right, why would you want to give away your beloved baby? Unless you have huge attachment issues yourself and are unable to feel or give love to another human being.

Think about it -- does any child want to grow up feeling unloved and unwanted?!? NO. You cannot white-wash surrendering a child by calling it "a loving option" or "placing that child for adoption." It all boils down to being abandonment. Is it any wonder that adoptees often call their natural mothers "heartless abandoners"?? :(

blank stare

In general, yes.

For all those that say no, were you abandoned? Are you planning on abandoning a child? If not, why are you telling others it's okay?

Sunny

YES.

Unless you are abusive, addicted (to drugs or alcohol), or so mentally ill that you would profoundly neglect your child.

It is morally wrong.

tah

There is no guarantee that the child will be placed inside a good home, and it should be a felony for anyone to get in the way of a child finding out the identity of their parents, if such information is available.

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