Is this right?

coachtom10

Your Dr. has no right to tell you what to do with your kids. He can make recommendations but cannot force you to put them up for adoption.

Can you afford to take care of the kids? Do you have a good support system in place? Family that will help. What about the kids father is he around? Do you have a job?

If all that is in place than I don't see why you could not take care of these kids yourself.

good luck

lopku

Well unless the doctor is getting anything from this. I think that he thinks for whatever personal reasons that you cannot take care of them maybe? I don't know, but for whatever reasons he shouldn't pressure you to make a decision. This is your decisions alone. You know if you continue to talk to your doctor and the agency; you might be convinced to give them up and then to later change your mind. I would run as far from them as possible!

eve

No one, absolutely no one, can do anything to get you to give your baby(s) up for adoption. It is against the law. It is completely legal for people to make suggetions to you and give you information and suggest you think about things and give you names of people to talk to but, NO ONE is allowed to force you in any way at all to give up a child -- unless you are declared unfit or negectful or abusive. But if you are a physically and emotionally healthy person, and capable of being a mother -- it is up to you to decide whether to keep your children and bring them up yourself. Do not allow other people to influence your decision. Get all the facts and all the information you can but, do not try and put the responsibility on someone else. It is your responsibility to decide what to do and it is illegal for anyone to make you do something you don't want to do with your babies.

Hether L

why in the hell would your doctor be telling you to give up yourkids? I wouldn't trust this doctor to deliver my babies. is there more to the story are you doing drugs or have an abusive husband ? but either way that would hurt for my doctor to try and get me to do that I would never see him agian.be careful he might just decided to run of with your babies soory that last comment comes from a parinod mom

YOU NEED TO FIND ANOTHER DR. HE CANT DO THAT . THAT IS NOT LEGAL.

Purdigo

Your doctor sounds as if he is trolling for babies and most likely has potential buyers. I find it very unethical that he is trying to push you into adoption. PLEASE remember, he has no power or authority over you...don't hand it to him! Taking your babies early can be a way to get them early, I would definitely find a different doctor, one that FAIRLY represents everything and puts YOUR WANTS and NEEDS first. You can find support at http://www.origins-usa.org/ or http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/ and a place to get the rest of the story!

Jennifer L

Waaaaiiittt a minute.

Your doctor is advising you to place your babies for adoption? That's really outside his purvue as a medical professional; it's very unethical and possibly illegal for him to use his position as your doctor to pressure you into placing your babies with him, for adoption. I'm speaking as a medical professional here, this is very wrong. He can and should be reported to the state board of medicine for this.

Believe me, when I was going through the whole infertility treatment route and was an emotional wreck, it was very hard to bite my tongue when I met women in the course of my work who were pregnant and talking about alternatives to parenting (abortion vs adoption). But I was wearing my nurse hat, not my would-be adoptive parent hat, so I kept my mouth shut, other than to make suggestions where the woman could find more information on every option.

First off, though, I suggest you consider finding another doctor for the above reasons. If you are considering adoption you should talk to an adoption counselor or lawyer to get all the information out there. If you are considering parenting your babies, you also need to look at the resources available to help you.

Look at all your information and don't let anyone pressure you into making a decision.

Stinky Pete

I had the same experience and it ended very badly. Please do not let this doc near you ever again. Make sure you are protected in the hospital and cut all ties with all agencies. Please please please do not go to the site GeeGee suggested.

lahdh4

Run do not walk -- run from this "doctor" they should not be telling you what to do unless he is getting a kickback from an agency/worker. Report him.
Do not go back to that agency. Do not visit any site where someone recommends an agency to you (gee-gee that is just wrong)

Yes, sometimes they take twins early. They try to keep them as long as possible for their growth but sometimes they can become a health risk to you and that is why they will induce your labor. carrying twins for 8 months is really good. My SIL was pregnant with twins and they were delivered earlier and are just fine.

Adopted Jane

PLEASE
P L E A S E

Go and find a new Doctor
Then report this So and so to the Medical Board.
WTF Is he telling you you have to give them up ?
if hes saying about taking them at 8 mths is he talking about having a C section ?? and having them early

Please RUN FOR THE HILLS As fast as you can

Are you wanting to adopt your babies out ?? You are 26 yrs old not a young teenager and unless you are a abuser then i see no need.

And for the poster GEE GEE

STOP touting that adoption agency , you are so low to try and get people to give up their baby on a message board
I am sick to death of you pimping yourself and that agency

rachael

have you ever expressed to him that you were considering adoption? if not then tell him to blow it out his a** and get someone new.

honestly, what would he have to profit from this unless he is line with them. he might just be there to ensure 'healthy' babies are born and then he pushs them off to the people waiting for babies. im sure he is well compensated for his 'heroic' efforts.
sick, sick, sick.

report him, now. stop him from doing this to anyone else. how many other women has he told they "need" to give up their children. what reasoning does he have for this assumption? has there been problems you have talked to him about?

grrr! id like to go in there with you and tell him what he 'needs' to do.

untbunny

What your Dr is doing is unethical! Goodness! The one person you are trusting your life with - and those of your twins - clearly does not have a grasp on what you want. Do not worry about hurting the Dr's feelings (because this one appears to be without feelings) and obtain a new Dr today! Do not chance your life and those of your twins to the Dr for one more day.

You say that he suggested an adoption agency. Just from the name one may assume that the agency was under the impression that you had already decided to place the twins. Maybe the Dr called ahead and informed them of his impression of your decision. If you are in need of assistance with the decision PLEASE contact an impartial group. There are some very good agencies who are not interested in obtaining children for placement. Rather they are concerned about you as a person and the health and well-being of the children. Bethany Christian Services offers a 24 hotline that lends a caring ear to pregnant mothers. They are able to provide local contacts for assistance and counseling. Project Cuddle is another great resource operated by caring individuals. If you're not comfortable with either one please discuss your situation with a member of clergy, or someone with a counseling background. Most insurance companies provide benefits for counseling. If insurance is a problem, your local mental health center can put you in touch with someone who can help.

Don't let the Dr make your choices for you! Become informed and choose for yourself. Bless you during this difficult time. Best of luck!

Katie L

I dont know what the reasons for him saying this but i guess he has them. Though i dont understand why he would send you to an adoption agency- if he thought there was danger they would just be taken from you. Is he religious and your single or something? You need to go and see someone impartial to help you, there must be agencys out there- if you are saying you want to keep them. Maybe another doctor even, or a laywer.

Stop the Hate Love instead

Yes indeed please find a new doctor. Your doctor should not be advocating adoption to you in fact his or her only job is provided you with medical advice and prenatal care. I have no idea why your doctor would want to take the babies at 8months; I assume that means induce labor at 8month. Multiples often are born early but if you can carry the full 9months I donâ€™t see why your doctor would want to deliver 1 month early.

If you want to keep your babies then keep them, seek out assistance programs. If you want to place them do research first, in fact cut all ties with this current agency you are dealing with if your doctor sent you to this people it does not sound good. If you do place find a reputable agency, and get counseling before deciding to place and after placing. You might just wait till after the babies are born you canâ€™t sign them away before then anyway and the biofather would have to sign his rights away as well. They can always be put in temp foster care till a suitable family is picked out for them.

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

What on EARTH???

I mean, come on.. your TWENTY-SIX friggin years old!! Why would anyone think you needed to give up your children unless you were a

A..drug addict
B. COMPLETELY mentally unstable (psychotic, suicidal,etc) or
C.. Dying (that one's iffy, but I COULD see someone thinking that, however incorrect they may/may not be..

What's the deal
DOn't let ANYONE talk you into giving up your children unless you fall into one of the first two categories...

H******

No. What he is doing is unethical and he should be reported.

Sounds like he has agencies in his back pocket, no doubt he gets a cut. It's disgusting what goes on.

Best of luck with the remainder of your pregnancy and enjoy your babies

Andraya

NEW DOCTOR TIME! Seriously anyone trying to get you to relinquish your rights is way overstepping his boundaries as a physician. A good Dr would be directing you to community resources that will help you parent if that is your desire.

FIRE THE DR! Time for a new one, report him to whoever is in charge (no clue who that would be there, sorry).

Stina Lady

It's ultimately your decision. If you feel you can care for them then keep them. They are yours. But if you think giving them up will be better for them then do it. But don't do it because the doctor is telling you. I suggest finding another doctor.

Freckle Face

PLEASE find a new doctor.

Santa's Lil' Helper

HOLD THE PRESSES!!!

Why is your Dr. telling you that you "need" to give these babies up for adoption? There is NO reason this doctor should be sending you to an adoption agency. You need to:

A. Get another Doctor.....FAST
B. Report him her to the medical ethics board in the hospital which they are affiliated with!
C. Report him to the medical licensing board in your state.

Ask yourself why this Dr. wants to induce labor at eight months.....this could be especially dangerous to twins.

I work in a hospital......this sounds highly irregular, illegal and unethical to me!

***Sunny ---- you stated before you have twins.....does this sound dangerous to you?

This doctor sounds like a QUACK .......PLEASE do not go to him/her again.

Good luck and I wish you the best!

Samone

When I was pregnant with my twin daughters they induced me at 36 weeks and it's pretty normal not to go full term with a multiple pregnancy. I opted to not have the c section and went the natural way. They did have me give birth in the operating room so that if anything went wrong they were right there ready to go rather than wheel me any where & lose precious time.

What do YOU want?
That's a call only you can make. Your doctor has no right forcing you into adoption if that's not what you want.
if he continues to do so I would suggest filing a complaint about his ethics. As for the adoption agency again if that's not what you want, then you need to tell them so.

There's nothing wrong with exploring your options, it's your right to do so.

There is something very wrong with an agency and a doctor making you feel like you are being forced.

Invest in call display, and refuse their calls until you have a chance to think about what you want.

If you do decide to go with adoption I would advise very strongly against using any agency that has employeed these tactics with you

...

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

Find a new doc!! TODAY!

My doc told me to abort my daughter because of the risk to me. I refused and got a new doc. I did have problems, but that was MY call to continue. Docs don't know everything.

anonymous

RUN from that doctor as fast as you can, he's probably getting kickbacks from the agency. NO ethical doctor would ever do anything like that.
As far as delivering at eight months, some doctors will do that if the babies are very large or there's some other issue, but it's only done if need be. I wouldn't trust anything he says, go to another doctor fast, and get a second opinion.

ETA: I don't know your situation, if you're alone without support, etc. If the doctor or the adoption agency are pressuring you, do not deal with them any more. Try contacting the people at Birthright:
http://www.birthright.org/
They are NOT an adoption agency and can help you if you need support throughout your pregnancy.

LaraSue

Sounds like you need to find another doctor.
Why is he advocating you give them up? Does he stand to profit from it?
I don't know if it's legal for your doctor to do this, but it sounds pretty unethical to me. Perhaps contact the AMA(Amercing Medical Association)and report him.
There are a lot of resources available to you if you choose to parent your babies.

Robin W

Sara, DO NOT let this doctor do anything further. Get another OB, one who will listen to what you want to do. Are you getting any support from the father or from your family as far as keeping and raising your children are concerned?

NO ONE has the right to just take your babies so you had best get some legal advice and see what you can do about getting some unbiased medical care and stay away from the adoption agency.

For more information, go to www.Origins-USA.org.

If I can help you, my addy is ladiddledee1@yahoo.com. Any adopters that might not like what I had to say may as well not contact me because I will just block you.

Robin

LaurieDB

No, the doctor has no authority to take your babies. If you want to raise your twins, you have every right to do so. Children cannot be "adopted out" without parental consent (except in cases of abuse, which isn't applicable here.) You have to sign relinquishment documents in order to have this happen. You also cannot sign relinquishment papers until after the birth.

You sound like you'd rather raise them yourself from what you are saying. If that's what you want, then just cut yourself off from the agency. It also sounds like you need a new doctor who doesn't have an agenda of his own.

Some people have posted links to organizations that can help you keep your babies over at this question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmODHps3lsXeD0XeEjbYvEFq.Bd.;_ylv=3?qid=20080303101835AAOUiV3

Good luck to you and your children.

Sunny

Please e-mail me, if you like.

No decent doctor would want to take your twins earlier than 36 wks., and then even if they are in danger.

Where are your parents?

I feel like I don't have enough information.

Another site that might be helpful:
http://www.motherhelp.info/keepingyourchild.htm

Gershom

wait, what business is it of his for your dr to suggest this. I would report him, somehow someway, this is not right. Assuming you've had a healthy pregnancy and aren't abusing drugs or something, he has no reason to be mentioning adoption to you.

Would you email me his name please?

If you want to keep your baby, keep your baby. Move doctors NOW. Go to http://www.origins-usa.com right now and post to their forums. Go to http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org and post on their forums too. Email me.

Lori A

Someone wants a kick back.

Possum

Find a new doctor - and get yourself some legal advice.
No doctor has a right to tell you what to do. They can advise - but this doctor doesn't sound good - please run in the opposite direction.
I'm sorry that you've been hearing so many telling you to give up your children. I think all mothers should be encouraged to parent first and foremost. They are your babies - it should be your right.
This is the reason why in Australia they make no pre-birth matches - mothers are encouraged to parent - and only after some time - if they really then want to relinquish - plans are made.

Here's some links to find help for keeping your babies -
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/
(click on the link on the left for 'Pregnant & Need Help')
http://origins-usa.org/Default.aspx?pageId=51995
(click on the Resources for Expectant Mothers in the centre)

I wish you and your babies all the very very best.
Anytime you want to talk - send me a message through my profile.

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