May 2: "Birthmother's Day?"?

Yours Truly

I didn't know it existed but I guess it seems reasonable. I personally think that just giving birth doesn't make you a mom, but if they want their own day to celebrate giving birth then sure-why not? I mean, inanimate objects have days. I celebrate International Suit Up Day (HIMYM! What up?). If birth mothers want a day more power to them. If they'd rather celebrate on regular mothers day, that's fine by me too. Everybody has a day/month now days so I say jump on the bandwagon and make your own day-just don't expect me to celebrate it or wear an bright colored wrist band or anything.

Dogperson111

REALLY, Its birth mothers day,. WOW, that makes me feel... sad. because i know i will never find my real mom, and i have never knew who she was... I think its a good i mean GREAT holiday to celebrate. then I Can find my mom...

I have never heard of it but I think God for my birth mother every time I pray

cricketlady

Say don't blame the adoptive parents; more than likely this was something instituted by a birth mother. No I never knew it existed, never heard of such a day and no we won't be celebrating it.

Mama Bear

I've never heard of it to be honest. I do find it kind of funny that it is before the traditional mother's day. It comes first so doesn't that make it more important? I mean no one wants to be second. Of course, i still don't understand how people think that how much people can love is limited. Last i check people are capable of loving multiple people, so the fear some AP's have over their child loving their first parents is just silly to me.

If your a good parent you don't have to worry about your child's love...

EDIT: Does this mean i have to get my mom two presents? I'm not adopted, so my mother is my birth mother. What about grandparents?

Vanessa

I've never heard of it. I would never celebrate/participate in it.

Kari

I am a birthmom in an open adoption and I hate birthmothers day. Its like saying well you carried the child for 9 months and gave birth to him but you can celebrate on a day very few have heard about. We should be allowed to celebrate on mothers day too. If it werent for us adoptive parents wouldn't be parents. Its amazing how one sided adoption is.

Damitra

Well, I am one of those mother's that was separated from my first child through adoption. The thought of a day set aside to celebrate our position of being separated makes me physically ill. Luckily my now adult son sends me a lovely card, gives me a phone call and thinks of me on the same regular mother's day as the rest of my kids do. Thank god!

Snowbarbie

I've never heard of it.

Mimi

I've never heard of it, but I guess it depends on the situation. For someone in my situation (taken off my birth parents due to abuse) I have no intention of 'honoring' my birth mother at all to be honest, I don't care what day of the year it is. Some people might like it, some not, it's just personal choice.

Johnsmuffinpie

I agree that it's weird. A mother is a mother, and I don't believe the two should be separated. I don't agree with what you said, "Like APs can't even allow first moms to share..." It seems like this day was created by birth mothers, not adoptive mothers. This one can't be blamed on Adoptive parents.

gypsywinter

Have heard of it for quite awhile..Burfmuggle's Day. I have no need for it, have never identified with it and my reunited daughter calls me on Mother's Day to wish me a Happy One, the same as my other children.

Birthmother's Day is yet just another way to tell mothers who are separated by adoption...that she is *Other*, in a separate category.

cruzgirlz3

I think we should not mask a day that is marked with grief as a Hallmark holiday. The day to celebrate ALLl mothers is called Mother's Day.

Pip

I have heard of Birthmother's Day but fortunately it's not celebrated in the UK - Mother's Day is in March in the UK anyway. One of the reasons I dislike it is that it's another way to separate mothers who surrender from mothers who raise their children, adoptive mothers and foster mothers. We are all mothers so why alienate one group.

Wellspring

So now this degrading day is a week before instead of the day before Mother's Day? Geeezzz, I guess, the day before was even too close for comfort, so the distinction must be furthered once again.
The whole idea is a dance on a Mother's grave.

Vanessa

This "inanimate object" will celebrate Mother's Day as she damn well pleases.

"I am placing a burning candle in your profile picture and keeping "birthfamily" in my prayers..."

What a joke. After that is over, then it is back to acting like she does not exist.

Creepy, you becha.

AnnaBelle

I think this is actually laughable. And has no basis in common sense.

So, if we are to qualify motherhood, and start celebrating a different day for each maternal figure in our lives, we would need a separate day for adoptive mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers...

I have a friend who has been estranged from her biological mother for years, and though she was never officially/legally adopted by the woman she calls 'mother', she loves her dearly. I guess we should come up with a day called "legally unofficial Mother's Day".

Totally ridiculous. There is no separation needed, and no qualification, either. If this was coined by biological parents, then I feel for them...It seems that they don't feel worthy of the day that everyone else celebrates. I hope someone, somewhere, reminds them that they too are mothers, and that no prefix or qualification is necessary. They shouldn't have to sit at the proverbial "kid's table" of this holiday. They are Mothers. End of story. It's heart-breaking, really.

Anha S

A mother is a mother. No, I don't think it's nice to have a separate day for nmoms. To me, all it is, is yet another attempt to further remove nmoms from the title of mother for the comfort of the AP out there who have issues accepting that their achild has 2 moms. Concoct a separate day for them, and to me, its saying nmoms aren't as good as all the other moms. It's wrong, nasty, and I would never celebrate it.

Andraya - Snark's Sister

Once you "place" a child for adoption society no longer sees you as a valid mother, you become a non-mother, a birther, an abandoner and a general waste of maternal flesh. I refuse to acknowledge a day set aside to "celebrate" the destruction of my family.

Annieâ™¥ â™ªâ™«Mommy to Ilyanneâ™«â™ª

I've never heard about it before, but I agree with you. A mother is a mother no matter what.
Therefore we should all celebrate the same day.
I guess everyone has a different opinion.

Carol c

Yes, I've heard of it. I believe it was originally started by a group of first mothers from the Seattle area in the late 1980's and the first "Birthmother's Day" was celebrated in 1990. I remember when the Sunshine Bmother group also began to participate - I don't know if they still do, but I personally find it offensive, as well. It just minimizes again our connection to our child. I don't want a separate day as if to imply that giving birth to my child was not as important as the mother who adopted him.

Why people can't just accept that an adopted person has TWO mothers? What is so difficult about sending two cards or making two phone calls in honor of a holiday?

I've done that for years on other holidays as well as honored aunts, grandmothers and special women in my life on Mother's Day.

Ferbs

It's stupid.

Besides, both mothers should be acknowledged and appreciated all year not just to fill the pockets of greeting card companies.

Oh...God...could there actually be a freakin' card for this too?

LinnyG

I agree. It's creepy. I am an adoptee, and I find it quite offensive.

Its just another way of separating mothers. I mean seriously. Its degrading. I dont need anyone to define the word "Mother" for me. How insulted would adoptive mothers be if someone came up with "Adoptive Mother's Day"??? My a Mom would be crushed. I wouldn't do that to EITHER of my Mothers. I get so sick of the lack of respect for BOTH of my mothers.

Hate, hate, hate it.

eta: Ive been thinking about all of the absurdities of this "day" What about the 6 MILLION adoptees who are denied by law to even know who their first Mother is? Again....this "day" takes the cake.

minimouse68

Odd, when my first mum was still alive, I managed quite well to fit in seeing both of my mums for mothers day, and I see no reason to make any distinction between my first mum and my amum, I love them both and they were both equally my mum..........sorry this one leaves a very nasty taste in my mouth.......

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