Ok I'm pregnant-- what next?

Jenalynn

It depends on where you are locayed but there is a really great organization at www.spencechapin.com. They are very understanding of your needs adoption or no. This takes some serious thought. Don't listen to what anyone else wants. This is a personal decision. I saw may daughter for the entire time we were in the hospital. I guess it made me feel like I had the time to say goodbye and tell her I loved her before I gave her to people who could better care for her.

lanie

Please think very hard about giving up your child. In most cases the best thing that you can do for your baby, is keep it. The second thing that you should do is tell the father. You shouldn't even think about making that decision by your self. Its only fair that you give him the option to make that choice as well. But if you choose adoption, there are plenty of couples that really want to have children, that have no luck with adoption agencys. Private adoptions! Think about it? I wish you all the luck in the world sweetie!

Stacy

I can't the change the past either and am trying to decide what to do as well. I've been on every website and analyzed every possibility hoping that I'll find some magic answer somewhere. I've been trying to hear God as well but for some reason I can't listen to Him. I think that it will just come to me. I haven't been to the doctor yet so it isn't that "real" yet. My fear is choosing to put it up for adoption and then not being able to do it as the date nears. I think it'll come to us. Whatever you decide is the way it's supposed to be. As dumb as this may sound you may want to make a pro/con list about what you'd be giving up and what you'd be gaining with each choice. Good luck to you...

littlerascal711

there are several Christian based adoption agencies. Lither Social Services and Catholic agencies (see phone Book) You really must look at what is best for the child. Since you are not married, the child would grow up in a single parent family. and since the father of the child was only the one night stand chances of you being able to find him are slim so child support is probably not an option. Are you able to care for the child on your income.? It will not be cheap. Diapers Formulas Day care Dr bills. etc. Once you become employed as right out of college pay is not that great and ofter Insurance benefits are not in effect in insurance for a while That is 18 years of your life too. Usually a loving Christian family is easy to come by and something they may even talk to you. Check out Open adoptions. You can Talk to Planned Parenthood in your area and they will counsel you and not look down on your decision whatever it may be. Call them for a consultation. Cost is free or very cheap, ?You can also get birth control education there so this does not happen again.

FJM

Bethany Christian Services. You can opt for an open adoption which means you would be looking at different folders telling about the family, etc. You would pick which families you would like to meet with. The services are extremly helpful. Follow up care is there also. I am proud of you for seeing adoption as an option. Best wishes for you.

Lil Momma

You are right to consider your options since this is not something that you planned for. You can't worry about other people's opinions because they are like butt holes, everyone has one. If you are capable to properly care for this child financially, lovingly and every other way... then raise that beautiful baby. The Bible refers to children as "the fruitage of the belly." If you do not feel it in your heart to raise your baby then there are plenty of people out there who are unable to have children and would love to have your baby. Remember, you have the ultimate say. You could also have an open adoption...... just make sure you can handle seeing your child in someone else's hands and your child possibly not knowing you as Mommy. I just thank God that you did not opt for abortion being that it is not the baby's fault.

My brother and I were adopted when we were babies through Catholic Charities and they did consider what religion my parents were. Just make that part of the criteria for potential parents. Baby girl, just pray, pray and pray some more before you come up with your answer. Once you sign those papers for putting your baby up for adoption, there may be no turning back. Can you handle going through child birth, all those emotions and then leaving the hospital alone? Ask yourself those hard quesions. There are plenty single, independent women who raise children alone. Don't think that you can't do it because you can and it won't be easy, but in the end its all worth it. I commend you for having the courage to even ask that question. It means that your heart is in the right place, wanting to do whats best for that baby in your belly. Thats love, some times loving is knowing how to let go and some time its knowing how to buck up and handle what you have started. I hope, wish and pray for the best for you and your unborn child. (No disrespect but please stop referring to the unborn child as "it". I mean well when I tell you that.)

Kayla

I would go with Lutheran Social Services but you are financially able to care for the child I would imagine that they only thing your baby would need is a dad.....Remember this will be the hardest thing you do in your entire life giving up a baby is so difficult even for someone like myself that had no education living at home in a very dysfunctional family and it took me almost 10 years to be able to give my heart to anyone.....since then I have been blessed with a wonderful boy I would call him little but he's not so little anymore......I did have an open adoption that made things easier but it was still so difficult I can never refer to the other baby as my child because I signed all my rights away and I have to consider the new family....

tina_tinker_bell

what ever you decide you have to live with it forever and im sure there will be days that you wish you would have made a different decsion so just think long and hard about it good luck.

Believe

I hope this is helpful to you. Been there done that says it all. My first born a boy I loved from the moment I knew he was in my belly and I planned and prepared for him right up until my 8th month and then close relatives talked me into not keeping him, that I would never be able to raise him on my own (I was 23). I let myself believe them and an adoption was arranged with some people from NYC. My water broke 11:30 sat night, but he was stubborn all night labor contractions every 2-3 minutes, but I wasn't dilating, finally at 9:10am Sunday morning, he came into the world. I never saw him or held him. Throughout the day I mostly slept as I had been in labor all night. But by Monday morning I started to question "my" decision, I was a wreck and Tuesday I was to go home and when my doc came in he saw my emotional state and he sat and talked to me for over an hour, but the very last thing he said is "purplegirl, this is YOUR baby and YOUR choice" I think you need another day so I will send you home tomorrow. I sat for severl minutes and thought, and my heart and soul told me YES he is my baby. I called the nurse and asked them to bring my baby to me. They were hesitant as they knw the situation. Finally he arrived, I held him in my arms and sobbed, I instantly fell in love. I layed him on the bad and unwrapped him and looked at his tiny little fingers and toes and the love that poured from his sweet little face. I picked him up and said "Joshua, I love you and I promise to be a good mom and give you a happy life, we are going home tomorrow, together." I will swear to this day he smiled at me at that moment.
Two and half years later here I was again. The dad wants no part of this child I was carrying. I knew I could never raise 2 kids on my own, yet I could never have an abortion, knowing what my son brought to my life how could I deprive someone else of that. So I made the choice - ME - to place him for adoption and all through the pregnancy I saw a counselor and we talked about all the aspects of adoption. "David" was born on a Thursday evening, smooth as cream. On Saturday I rode with my best friend to the attorney's office, the only time I would hold my second son. Yes, I looked into his face, peaceful and calm was what I saw. When we arrived I wept with tears of wonderment that I could give the gift of a son to a couple who would otherwise never have the joy of a child. My attorney said to me after they departed, "purplegirl, I've done hundreds of adoptions, but I have NEVER witnessed anything as beautiful as what I just saw.
Long story I know, my advice to you is don't wait too long to make your decision, search your heart and soul, you will know what the best answer is for you and your situation now. Then seek whatever help or counsel you feel you may need to help you. I wish you the very best and if you'd like to chat let me know I'll give you my e-mail.
P.S. My first son has always known about his brother and I always told him when his brother turned 18 he could look for him. He did and they have a wonderful relationship and in fact he lives within and hours drive.
My first son is about to turn 23, he just finished 5 years in the Air Force and is now reenlisted in the reserves for 3 years and will be attending a prestigious college to finish his bachelors degree.
My second son will be 21 next year, unfortunately his dad passed at a young age and it's just been him and his mom. He plays in a band and works full time.

Gershom

keep it and give a loving home

meghananne23

(((((((HUGS)))))) and Kudos to you for thinking what's best for this child!!

Adoption is a very loving and kind decision - it demonstrates that you are not selfish by any means and a wonderful person!!!

Here is a pregnancy/adoption hotline # to call:

1-800-592-4725

Thank-you for choosing life for this precious baby!!!!!!!

(((HUGS)))

luzina p

wish u the best what ever u decide 2 do

slacdc

Try Catholic Charities, Lutheran Family Services, and the like. There are plenty of religious adoption agencies. IF you really love this child, you will do what's best for it, despite what you want.

Shelbi =)

Wow. This is just a reply to some of the answers. People on here freak out if a woman contemplates abortion. So now that a woman wants adoption you are still complaining! People are so stupid sometimes. Good luck on finding a good home.

çµç¸ Heemei

Keep it if you already stated you can afford it, and you got your college out of your way. No one can love a baby like it's own mother. You can pay for a nanny, and still gets to see your child at the end of the day.

lahdh4

If you have been approached by couples wanted to adopt your child. RUN from them.
You are still dealing with what you want to do and being approached by those who are just so desperate that they read pregnant/help and jump, I wouldn't trust them with a 10 foot pole.

Look at where your life is at now. Look at what you have going on and how a child would change that. Look at what help you can receive if you decide to parent.

There are anumber of agencies out there that will help you find what you are looking for.

Possum

Your child doesn't need two other parents - your child needs you.

In the best interests of your child - your child needs to grow up with those that he/she is related to.

There is a whole heap of nature involved in bringing up a healthy/happy/stable child - in the nature/nurture argument.
For those adoptees that are not allowed to grow amongst that 'nature' - there can be many life long effects.

I wish you all the very best.

sexycocoshay26

NO I DONT KNOW OF ANY AGENCIES? BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR BABY IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS ABOUT ADOPTION. I ALSO THINK THAT THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN BE 100% POSITIVE THAT YOUR CHILD WILL END UP IN A CHRISTIAN HOME. THEN MAY BE CHRISTIAN WHEN YOU SEE THEM BUT WHAT ARE THEY WHEN YOU DONT. ITS SEEM TO ME YOUR JUST SCARED. YOU CAN DO THIS YOU CAN RAISE YOUR OWN CHILD IT DOESNT SEEM LIKE YOU GOING TO HAVE ANY MONEY ISSUE. PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME AND DECIDE. MAKE A LIST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

acatisacomintogetcha

I would say if you are capable of caring for the baby then keep it. It may not be the best timing or the best situation since the father was a one night stand but things happen and this is a consequence.

With that said, I gave a baby up for adoption when I was much younger b/c I was completely incapable of caring for myself much less another life. It was a terrible situation but instead of abortion or self loathing I found a nice family that was unable to have children of their own. There are plenty of adoption agencies that are Christian based. But if there isn't one specifically Christian based you have the option of interviewing prospective parents. It's up to you.

All I can say is that giving a child up for adoption will be the hardest thing you've ever done in your life. You will think about what they are doing, where they are, who they're with, what they like, what they look like, if they have any of your traits, every single day of your life. It's very hard.

I would suggest talking to those that have gone through both sides. Single mothers and birth mothers. Weigh your options and make a decision.

If you have any questions feel free to message me. I'm happy to help in any way I can.

Amy J

Are you looking to place your child up for adoption because of fear? (being able to cope, being responsible for another person, not being a good mum etc). If this is the case then there is a lot of help you can get. I was adopted when I was a child and I used to feel it was because my parents didn't love me or want me. It left me with an inferiority complex and my adopted parents had a lot of mixed emotions to deal with. So please think hard before you make any decision. I am not trying to put you off adoption as I love my adopted parents very very much and could not have asked for a better childhood. Maybe if you choose adoption a letter that your child could read from you at 18 explaining why, would help you both if ever there was a re-union at a later date. Hope this helps and counseling may help you reach the right decision

proudmommyof3

Well if you are financially stable then i would suggest keeping the baby. You need to find out who the father is and see what he thinks. I am glad you are looking into adoption rather then abortion. A child is better of with it's birth mother, they grow up wondering and wanting to know why there mother did not want it. When they are older it is mostly wondering who there real parents are and if you end up having other children someday the one you gave up for adoption will probably resent you. I think that you should do what you think is best and don't let anyone tell you other wise because you don't want to regret anything. Good luck

rox

Just so you know, if you go for counseling at an adoption agency you are going to get a lot of information that is biased toward adoption.

I can gaurantee you that you do not sound IN ANY WAY like a candidate for placing your child for adoption. You don't sound like you are in a crisis. You sound like it is perfectly possible to parent.

I don't want you to come to one of our sad birthmother club meetings in 5 years banging your head on the wall going WTF was I thinking? I could have my CHILD right now, but I just gave that up and there is no reason!!

And think about the divorce rate in America, if the only reason you place is because the adoptive parents have two people, then what if they get divorced? It happens.

In fact it happened in my situation and my daughter is now being raised in an apartment with a single mom who smokes and doesn't cook.

As opposed to being raised by me who doesn't smoke and loves cooking organic healthy food.

Honestly, think really hard about whether or not adoption is necessary because if you don't have some d*mn good reasons for placing, there will be nothing that will get you through this kind of pain. And it will pretty hard to explain to your child why you placed them if you wanted to give them a "two parent home" and they are living in a one parent apartment.

Talk to women who have placed, talked to adoptees that have really worked through their issues.

Try soulofadoption.com

Joy M

Keep your baby, you will never regret it, give your baby to strangers and you will live a lifetime of regret.

The Creative One

The whole one night stand thing has nothing to do with at...at least now. Ok you was drunk but, everything happens for a reason and god wanted you to have a child at this point in you life. Maybe because you are able to care for it. If you want to keep YOUR child than forget everyone and anything that may stop you. You know this child will love you regardless of how it was conceived so.........I think you should keep it.

I'm not judging you and what you did. but do the right thing and keep you child and you'll see it will be fine. That child will never judge you for what you did and would love you far beyond anyone who have.

Good Luck.

Adoptionissadnsick

Congratulations!

Keep your baby, you are BEST able to care for and love your little one, you are the momma this baby wants to be greeted by, and raised by. Your body knows what to do, and you are the only one who can provide the perfect food for your baby.

Until you give birth and hold your baby, it is not possible to imagine the connection you will feel. Endorphins and hormones will do some wild things to bring you close to and absolutely in love with your baby.

Adoption is a structure built upon loss. Please, don't sentence your child to that. And don't fall for that "loving sacrifice BS" that is a bunch of brainwashing. Your child will NOT feel loved by being bought and raised by strangers, no matter how nice they are; they still ARE NOT YOU.

Enjoy this magical time, don't stress so much, babies aren't terribly expensive if you choose to parent naturally - breastfeed and co-sleep. Motherhood is amazing and wonderful. Congrats Again!!!!!!!

pilgrimspadre

Hi!

I like your attitude about accepting the unchangeable past while dealing with the here and now and respect your resolve not to make hasty decisions around using your child to meet someone else unmet need. Your use of the term "give my baby .." was a little possessive sounding, but you overall come across as a person who recognises that the life growing in you is not a commodity in a market place.

My instinct is that YOU are that child's best hope. The two parent formula is no match for a loving birth mother. Don't deny your child the possibility of knowing you because you feel you don't reach some bench-mark "ideal". You are the ideal. Anything else could be good but not as good.

Blessings and good wishes.

logansmommy15

This is a question that only you should decide. It doesn't matter if YOU are "ready". This gift was given to you, so make the best out of it. If you are financially stable as you state, then whats the problem? There are MANY MANY single moms out there. Love your child and raise your child. Congrats, enjoy your miracle you have been given. Good luck. :)

vmarie84

If you can afford to take care of your baby financially and love it, why would you want to put it up for adoption?

Nancy S

Even though it was just a one night stand, you really should let the father know. At least give him the opportunity to support the baby if he chooses, or be a part of the baby's life. If he isn't interested, then ask yourself some hard questions as to whether you really want to give the baby up or not. You may have second thoughts once you deliver, and later on down the road, regret giving the baby up for adoption. Right now, you are no doubt in shock, so I would suggest waiting a little while before you decide on what you want to do. If you decide to adopt the baby out perhaps there is a way you can keep in touch as the baby grows; of course this is again, your decision. Best of luck to you whatever you decide!

ladysosureone

talk to a councilors don't wait to long to decide and your young hunny you can have more kids ~i am 48 have 3 now please i want to ty for having enough sense to know that keeping this baby will be a huge burden and a infant if your not ready will really change your life also i may add alot of people rite now will be happy to pay to have you leave town for awhile to avoid any embarresment and have they baby sign it over and return to your normal life GOD BLESS YOU ANGEL nad we all live and kearn also may i kindly add dont close these eager folks out to fast there your best help rite now peace be with you!!!!!!!

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