Parents who have or want to adopt:are you afraid your child will become angry?

honeydoooo

My sister wants to adopt, but I dont think the child will get mad.
They might get curious though, as to what their blood parents backgrounds are, and where they come from, or possibly even meet them.
You should be willing to provide this information to your child and not hesitate about it . The hardest part will be telling them they are adopted . Or you could just not but that will be kind of weird.
Make sure they know that, that doesnt change your love for them.GOOD LUCK!

lâ™¥ve.soulâ™«

I have adopted cousins and they aren't crazy they are actually thankful and we get along pretty well.

-- well when we were little we fought and said bad things to each other but they were raised pretty good.

they're my cousins. 3 of them.

DropsOfJupiter

Thank you. I must admit that for a long while the behavior of most people on here made me really question whether I wanted to adopt, although my career means I cannot afford to spend 9 months pregnant. But than I thought about it and realized that yahoo answers DOES NOT represent the general population, I don't want to go through my life childless, and if they put me off adoption, they would win. It sure did make my day to get some reassurance that my future baby wouldn't end up like that though! Thank you!

monkeykitty83

I assume my children will experience the whole range of human emotion like anyone else-- including anger. I wouldn't want it to be otherwise. Feeling emotion is healthy.

Anger at me? Probably at some point. Anger at me over adoption? That's their right, just like any other feeling.

The idea of my children having emotions, including negative emotions, doesn't scare me, no.

sizesmith

Any child WILL become angry at a parent, whether adopted or not, at one point or another.

Concerning adoption, we will always be honest with him in a positive way, and we will always allow him to ask questions, meet his bio family, including brothers, sisters, and grandparents, and we will love him, no matter what he decides or does.

Honest & Sober

What child or normal human being doesn't get angry?

Based on the wording of your question I can only assume your telling the world you have never ever been angry in your life. Liar Liar pants of fire.

As a human I experience and have the ability to feel all emotions. Like all humans unless they are robots like O-Ollie. Even as a male and I'm comfortable with experiencing and displaying any and all emotions. I welcome others to express themselves even if I dislike or disagree with them.

The only rare thing here is O-Ollie (aka little Ms Hitler) minority world view of adoption. The poor dear still believes it speaks on behalf of the majority of adoptees. The fact is she finds the truth difficult to swallow.

What does any sensible parent do when they see their child displaying a somewhat negative emotion?

Acknowledge their feelings, be patient, considerate and seek out the reasons why.

AnnaBelle

Nope. I'm not afraid.

I know that at times they will feel anger.
They will also feel sadness, grief, joy, confusion, happiness, apprehension, exuberance...

It's all part of the human experience. My children's "human experiences" will have been quite different from my own. My hope is that I can teach them to feel and identify feelings, and supply them the tools to cope with any and all emotions in a healthy way as they grow older, while supporting them in working through any emotions they have, rather than denying them.

O-Ollie, has it ever occured to you that you might learn something if you just stopped being provocative in your questions and started exercising some humility? You'd be surprised...you might learn something...

smarmy

BWAHAHAHAHA Even the people you expected to rise to your occasion are sick of you.

To answer your question. NO.

Becca

Yes I do expect my child to be angry once she is old enough to realize exactly how adoption works. I think she will be angry with her birth family for not keeping her. I think she will be angry with us for taking her away from her country of birth. I think she will be very angry that thanks to China's strict government policies her chances of locating her first family are slim to none.
I do think with a lot of understanding and listening from us she will in time learn to live with it and deal with it.
If we ignore her needs then I don't think she will ever get over being angry.
All I can do as a parent is be there for her and let her know what she is feeling is normal and I will do everything in my power to help her through it.

Serenity71

I'm not worried about that...there's this idea out there called emotional intelligence in raising children. You should read it sometime and stop treating us adoptive parents like we're insecure or whatever your agenda is.

http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-Matter-More-Than/dp/0553375067

å°é»ƒ

We-ell.

If you're THIS terrified of angry adoptees that you have to reassure parents on a Yahoo Answers forum...

Seriously, this forum is the least place to be doing it.

Why don't you go join the blogosphere and wave your "Adoption is the Most Perfect Thing Since Sliced Bread" flag around or something?

I'm sure you could spark up quite the discussion.

Wundt

Our concern is not that our adopted sons will be aggressive because they were adopted, but in spite of it...

Our adopted sons were placed in foster care because their biological family was abusive and neglectful, as well as habitual illegal drug users. Our older son had serious anger issues when placed with us for fostering. For example, he would often attack other children for no visible reason, just walk up to them and start hitting out of the blue. Three years on, he is much better behaved, but we still have incidents where he gets aggressive very quickly or is just generally too rough, but the 'random' nature of the behavior appears to be gone.

We have concerns that as a teenager or a young adult that anger we saw will manifest again. He is a good boy and we love him dearly, but it is something we watch, something we hope to avoid through parenting and things like sports, and if need be something we may have to seek therapy for down the road.

Hannah J

nope

Pip

A serious question with a stupid comment underneath. Whatever you're on can I have some of it.

I've never adopted but even I know it isn't rare.

My son's adoptive parents were having problems with him by the time he was 2. If his adad had his way he would have been re-adopted. I have seen and been a recipient of his anger. I have seen him be angry and nasty towards his adoptive dad.

I have got to know quite a adoptees. Not all have been angry but on the other hand it isn't rare like you are claiming. What right have you got to 'speak' for every adoptee on the planet?

Jennifer L

My children haven't had any problem letting me know when and why they are angry yet!

kateiskate is getting married

LMAO oh geez Ollie. Thanks for the laugh this morning. This was RICH. All kids get angry at their parents. Biological, adopted, step, alien, whatever. It's called being a TEENAGER.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaâ€¦

Opedial

I don't think it is rare for the children to become angry, but I dont' worry it will be directed at me.

â™¥â™¥Mum To Superkids is engagedâ™¥â™¥

O-Ollie, now I have your assurance I can sleep well in my bed at night! Thank you O-wise one!

I'm not afraid my children will become angry. I EXPECT them to be angry. If I spent the first few formative years of my life in a God awful situation, then got ripped away from the only family I ever knew to live with strangers, then had life-long trauma to deal with, I'd be pissed. What kind of a moron would expect their kids to be happy about that?

Justifiable anger is not a bad thing. It's what gets changes made in the world when things are wrong. It's not something to be "afraid" of. What are you afraid of O-Ollie?

Fuaite le fuil, gaolta go deo

Not angry, informed.

What gives you the right to generalize? Children are not dogs, they can't be trained to be grateful in a situation that began with losing the only person they've ever known. Some are happy and content with their APs, others wish they had the chance to be nurtured and loved by the same person who cared for them all along. Deal with it.

Yarr

A rare thing my bum. Unless yahoo answers is the most unlucky adoption board ever I think having your kid grow up to be an angry adoptee is almost guaranteed.

7rin

It's actually not a rare thing at all. I don't know any kid - adopted or not - who hasn't been angry with their parents at some time or another.

gypsywinter

Sheesh...Ollie..You are answering your own questions!!! Isn't the whole point of YA, to ask a question and let others answer?

Ferbs

No.

Fear paralyzes people. Information empowers. Compassion nurtures.

Stop the propaganda (and I adopted...geeezzz)...

LinnyG

My parents were happy when I got angry. It meant that I was finally dealing with the loss of my first family. You cannot fix a problem until you acknowledge it......

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: