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Should adopted children be allowed to contact their biological parents?
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Should adopted children be allowed to contact their biological parents?

I know a friend who was adopted who had known their biological parents. They wish they never met them. Now I'm doing a project & I would like to know what your opinion is on this situation. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR OPINION!?!


    




linds
Rating
if it's open then yeah but if it's closed there must be reasons but even so i've known of people who after they turned 18 went back and met their biological parents.


Liz Lam
Rating
if the parents had an open adoption then yes, its up to them they dont have to meet their biological parents if they don;t want to

i think open adoption is a great thing


Tonia
Yes with proper supervision and guidance... parent, counselor, etc.


coleblondehead
Rating
Depends, sometimes the birth parents request a closed adoption so
even if you want to find them they wont give you any information and
to me this means that they wish not to be contacted.
With exams today, DNA and other blood exams you can tell which
diseases you will have almost, my personal opinion is if they withdrew
their rights as a parent, and I took the load loving the child, caring for
it, its too easy for the parent just to swoop in after theyve grown.
If I ever adopted a child I would ask for a closed adoption.


Mary
I think they should be allowed to contact them when they're truly ready to handle something like that.

My little brother was adopted and my parents told him. My mom made a deal with my brother that for his 18th birthday IF he wanted to seek out his birth parents, then she would help him. My brother's 18th birthday rolled around and he never expressed any interest so my mom reminded him every year if he wanted to find them to please let her know and she will do her best to help him out. He did want to know but purely because he wanted to know about his blood-line...if certain diseases ran in the family, etc...but he never made contact or tried and never asked my mom for help to find them. It was his choice and my mom waited until he was 18...technically an "adult" and was old enough to truly think about the pros and cons of knowing his biological parents.


nighteam
As adults yes. As children there may be safety issues.


FlyingMonkeySwatter
One size doesn't fit all for this question.

Drugs, chronic alcohol issues, abuse, prison, etc. no way.

Othewise, absolutely--it is what is best for everyone.


janine k
My opinion might be biased but as both an adoptee and a relinquishing mother I say DEFINITELY YES as I have always wondered about my medical background and also as to whether my daughter is happy with her life.Even third hand info would be appreciated.


celtic.piskie
In most US States.. legally you can never meet your birth parents.

Even if you are age 47, if you want a copy of YOUR Original BC.. you have to get PERMISSION from your mother.

Too bad if she's dead or you don't know where she is.

It's obscenely ridiculous that adults in the USA cannot talk and contact who they please.

There are plenty of people that i wish i'd never met, but i can cut contact, and i can get restraining orders.

People deserve to know the truth or their birth.


Carol c
Rating
you bring up your adopted friend's biological parents....
perhaps he did something so heineous to them that no parent - adoptive or biological would want him around?

that kind of stuff can happen in any family and has nothing to do with the fact that he's adopted. your friend had the right to know them and they obviously agreed.

finding one's family of origin doesn't necessarily mean that everyone's going to get together and live happily ever after... no matter how it turns out, the truth is usually alot easier to deal with than wondering who, what, why...?


Just a Mom
I think that it depends on the situation. Our kids have contact with one first dad but not the first dad of the older ones because he is very violent and a big reason the kids were taken away. They had contact with their first mom and she was actually a very good friend of mine until she passed away August 08. I miss her very much, as do the kids.


JennaBear
are you allowed contact with your biological parents?

i don't see why it's any different for adoptees, children Or adults.


rachael
Rating
overall...yes they should be allowed contact. it will allow them to have the guidance from afamily and see where they come from.

but....(always a but isnt there?) if the bio parents are not in a good place in their lives, it COULD be toxic. there must be lots of commucation and guidance.

everyone has a right to be in contact.


Ouida B
Yes, if the parents/child agree. My daughter has known since forever that she was adopted and looks forward to turning 18 so she can officially seek her parents. Of course, the older she gets the more leary she gets.(teenager) "What if they are crack-heads? What if they are dead?" It is my opinion that adopted children grieve in some form or fashion for their biological parents. I think they are entitled to it.


snowwillow20
Rating
I think if both the adoptee and the first parents want to meet then they should meet.
Reunions are fragile so each person going into the reunion has to be prepared for the good, the bad and the ugly.


Pip
My son's adoption was closed - long story - so him having contact with me wasn't an issue until he was 18 yrs old as that was the earliest he could have contact. I actually found him without actively searching when he had just turned 23 although he had been searching for me since he was 18 but that's 'nother story why it took so long for us to connect which unfortunately has much to do with my family. For us it did turn out well despite a can of worms opened because he thought I wanted him adopted and didn't want to be found thanks to my family. We are very much alike and have loads in common so it couldn't have worked out better. He has been living with us since Dec 2006. Other friends of mine from the closed adoption era have had mixed reunions, some good some bad with the worst one being that her son has been awful to her so they don't have contact now .... mostly his choice.

With open adoptions it's different as there is contact so it depends on the situation so I do feel that all involved should talk about what's best for the child with the child being involved in the discussions as it's their life.


judith m
adopted children and biological children have the same rights


Lady Rowan
Rating
yes they should.


Freckle Face
Children? Yes, why not. They are their family. Like any family relationship there has to be honest communication and mutual respect but of course children should know and have contact with their biological family. Will it always lead to a happy ending? NO. But don't you think knowing the truth about your biological family is better than living in ignorance?


Adoptees as adults are free to do what they please, well, because they are adults:)


young m
Rating
Yes, why shouldnt they be


kristysearching
Rating
Absolutely, as a First Mother I never asked for or was promised my identity would forever be a secret. I left a letter for my daughter (which the agency never gave her by the way) because I wanted her to find me.

:)


monkeykitty83
I think adopted CHILDREN need to discuss the matter with their adoptive parents, since minors are still under their parents' legal protection. I don't oppose contact, but minors also don't have full rights of association, and need their parents/guardians to supervise them and look out for their interests. I believe whenever possible, the adoptive parents should allow the contact as long as there's no danger of harm, but they need to be aware what's going on and decide to allow it. Adoptive parents (like all parents) need to know where their minor children are and who they're seeing, in order to keep them safe.

I think adopted ADULTS should have the right to freely associate with their biological families, access to their own birth records, and every right granted to other citizens, including when it comes to contact with the family they were born into.


blank stare
Do you mean CHILDREN? Or do you mean any ADOPTEES (including adults)?

I think freedom of association guarantees us the right (as adults) to contact whomever we wish. If the person doesn't wish to be contacted, they are free to express that desire when approached.


LostXRaven
I don't think it matters if the adoption is open or closed. I think the child should have the right to find out who their birth parents are.

But they should be old enough to handle the situation.

~FireStarter





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